Posts by cyber-sista

22

TELL US YOUR LACK OF LOVE STORIES FOR THE LURKERS.

by shamus in

jw
friends

jesus said, "you will all know my followers by they're works".

in a recent thread that i made, which lie hurt you the most, most posters presented they're arguments, and pretty much all of them said that the "lack of love" was horrendous.

why don't you write out your lack of love stories so that the lurkers can visit and see what this destructive high-control-group (aka, cult) does to the emotional health of sheep who are sick and weak.

cyber-sista

My daughter attended meetings with me while she was growing up, but drifted away in her teen years, but would attend occasionally. My husband was never a witness, but a really nice guy who i dearly love. our daughter also grew up to be a really nice person and a loving daughter. When she started to date a "worldly man" even though she was not a witness herself the elders gave me a serious talking to. One of them told me the story of PHineous and how he drove the tent peg throught the groin of the man and the woman and that is how Jehovah felt about my daughter (that God wanted to drive a tent peg through her groin). It put me into a state of shock that lasted for a very long time--even today it makes my skin crawl to think about him saying that horrible thing to me about my kind and loving daughter. I tried to get things straightened out in regards to the elders attitude toward the situation and talked with a circuit overseer about it. He was very unsympathetic when he told me what he has had to do is emotionally separate from his family so he won't feel so bad when they die at the big A. He also told me that he and the elders were concerned that if I ever had Grandchildren from this marriage I may become attached to them (as if that was a wrong thing for me to do). This is only a small part of this awful story but it continued on in this same mode until I almost lost my mind. I wrote a 12 page letter to the society about many of the things said and could've written more, but they never answered my letter even though I had written PLEASE HELP ME at the top of the page. They WT leaders killed God for me as they painted such a cruel picture of him. They were trying to get me to stop loving my family and made it appear that my love for them was a weakness on my part--that was the worst injustice and lack of love anyone could have shown me.

the story ends well though with me out of the JWs (in therapy and recovering), my relationship with husband and daughter intact and a wonderful new son-in-law (not a JW). AND I still love them all...

26

Do you ever have a kingdom melody in your head?

by itsallgoodnow in

jw
friends

this drives me crazy.

i woke up with "i want to" in my head this morning... havent been to a meeting lately, so what gives?

does this ever happen to any one else?

cyber-sista

Gopher, did you wear a V-neck sweater or a plaid shirt with your casual dress slacks?

26

Do you ever have a kingdom melody in your head?

by itsallgoodnow in

jw
friends

this drives me crazy.

i woke up with "i want to" in my head this morning... havent been to a meeting lately, so what gives?

does this ever happen to any one else?

cyber-sista

I have been out for a year and do wake up in the middle of the night with some of those tunes in my head--especially the ones I hated the most (think it must have been part of the programming). I really never liked most of the kingdom songs--many of them were so corny, but I pretended like the rest to enjoy the whole experience. Remember when the WT would encourage wholesome association and mention that getting together singing kingdom melodies was a very good thing to do. I never knew anyone who did that, but it was pictured there in the magazines--young people sitting around in boring sterile looking living rooms, wearing their casual dress clothes, serving lemonade and strumming along on the guitar to those rousing kingdom melodies--can you imagine any young people doing this??? ( a few excerps off the top of my head) "Let's watch how we walk and watch how we talk and stumble none in our minestry!" OR "they are neat and well prepared and oh so polite" OR We can fight with all our might to overcome it"OR "our is the god of true prophesy--what he foretells comes to be OR Forward go--fearlessly go! as an army let us go To combat the wicked foe....AAAAHHHHHHH It's too much...I can't go on....

52

Which One Lie Hurt You The Most About Jehovahs Witnesses?

by shamus in

jw
friends

which one teaching really hurt you when you found out that it was not true?

my number one thing is finding out that the name "jehovah" was not in the bible like it was in the new world translation (tm).

christians did not call god "jehover" "jehovah" or by his first name, no more than you would call your father by his first name when you were a child.

cyber-sista

One lie? That is a hard question as there were so many. It was like my whole life had been pulled out from under me. So many false hopes that kept us going in the Org.

The final ticket out for me was the love (lack of) shown by those who were supposed to be closer than family--people I had known for years. That so-called love was conditional and based on your performance in support of the WT real estate investment and book publishing corporation. It was a ripoff all around--mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Still picking up the pieces here.

39

I need to get a life

by DazedAndConfused in

jw
friends

maybe jw's are right after all.

my life has been in this room for years.

i had held onto every word i could read in here.

cyber-sista

What is going on here? I am feeling bad for the dazed and confused person--whatever her story is, but I don't know the story. I can understand the no duplicate account thing--does that mean one person using 2 different posting names? I can see that wouldn't be good because of the extra web space it takes up and the confusion one could cause...But we all know that many JWs have lead double lives and taken on double identities (we all did it to one degree or another). That seems to be a protection for some--kind of the double personality thing...we have to sympathize those who may still be leaning in that direction.

Guess I didn't read the rules too clearly myself. It is hard to read more rules when you have just come out of a place where there is a rule regarding every aspect of your life. Many of us are still feeling weary with all the rules...please understand...we will do our best, but may still be dazed and confused too.

17

It may not be a scandal but it's certainly Scandalous, alternative service

by shotgun in

in 1998 the wt addressed concerns where many felt like they served prison time needlessly due to refusal of alternative civilian service which upto 1996 had been considered the same as military service.

*** w98 8/15 p. 17 strengthening our confidence in gods righteousness ***feelings of having suffered needlessly.

6 in the past, some witnesses have suffered for refusing to share in an activity that their conscience now might permit.

cyber-sista

wait! I have had some "new light" since my last post.

the old light is that is wrong to perform alternative service. the new light is that it is OK.

But wait! it is only OK if it doesn't interfere with meeting attendance and field service (so in otherwords you can only do it if you are not a very active JW (AKA weak in your faith).

Would performing it prevent or unreasonably limit them from fulfilling their Christian responsibilities? (Matthew 24:14; Hebrews 10:24, 25) On the other hand, would they be able to continue to make spiritual progress, perhaps even sharing in the full-time ministry while performing the required service??Hebrews 6:11, 12.

Instead of apologizing (have you ever seen them apologize?) to all who have suffered under this "old light" the whole thing is swept up in some cleverly crafted wording. Looks like lawyers are writing the WT literature nowadays.

But wait! I am still confused...

17

It may not be a scandal but it's certainly Scandalous, alternative service

by shotgun in

in 1998 the wt addressed concerns where many felt like they served prison time needlessly due to refusal of alternative civilian service which upto 1996 had been considered the same as military service.

*** w98 8/15 p. 17 strengthening our confidence in gods righteousness ***feelings of having suffered needlessly.

6 in the past, some witnesses have suffered for refusing to share in an activity that their conscience now might permit.

cyber-sista

no wonder i was a confused JW. seems to be a lot of double think going on in this one...or it could be since i stopped going to meetings this past year i have lost the "holy spirit" so i can no longer comprehend these "deeper things" as clearly as I once did. the point that i get out of this is that they don't want JWs spending any time doing anything (including charity or good works) that takes away from their service to God (AKA working for the Org).

76

What Did You Find To Be The Most Confusing Belief Of Jehovah's Witnesses?

by minimus in

jw
friends

jehovah's witnesses certainly have some unique beliefs and some are very, very confusing.

anything that you never quite understood?

cyber-sista

I loved my family (unbelieving mate and daughter) who were not JWs. I also knew people who were not JWs but who were very good people in many ways. to think that these ones I loved more than most JWs I knew would be destroyed according to JW doctrine was painful and confusing to me. I was never comforted with the logic that some other JWs had when someone outside of the Org died and they would say--well, at least now they have the hope of the ressurection--this would bother me. The Org says that everyone outside of the Org in the same catagory--A person could be the most loving and kind person in the world and be wiped out in the big A along with someone who is a perverted mass murderer--in the eyes of the Org there is no difference between the two--weird.

40

What is the mood in the Kingdom Halls nowadays?

by JH in

jw
friends

when i used to go the meetings in the late 80's, the mood was good, knowing that the end was close.

later on in the 90's while i still attended once in a while, people were starting to be less zealous and were starting to put their needs before those of the kingdoms.

people started to buy houses, instead of living in apartements, they were buying nicer cars, taking vacations far away, and mostly, the women started to work, to help pay for the better life style they were living.

cyber-sista

First of all, Nina I am so sorry for what you have been through--that is some pretty tough stuff. I haven't been to a meeting in about 10 months now. It was really bad at the hall where I attended. The young people (the few left there) sat like cardboard cutouts with expressions on their faces like they were undergoing some painful dental work. I honestly fear some of them might do themselves in--they look so miserable. I attended this congregation for about 5 years. It was a small one in a rural area with about 45 publishers--many of them related with a lot of family feuding going on. An elders wife asked the only young pioneer sister in the congregation to move away because she didn't want her to date the elder's wife's son (she actually shook her fist at her). This young sister left--I missed her because she was one of the only ones who had any life in there. Other family members in there wouldn't speak to each other. There were some others disfellowhsipped for who knows what. Some on reproof--though I had thought being "on" reproof was an old term. Some were off reproof but with their privleges removed--it was hard to keep up with it all. While I was there I saw 2 teenagers end up in the mental hospital and then another sister had a breakdown and ended up there too. Two boys died from the same family--they had left the "truth" and went off the deep end and both had ended up in drunken accidents. Of course they were used as examples of what happens to you when you "leave." Many others were inactive in the community and hiding out. There was something seriously wrong with everyone in that hall.. I coundn't take it anymore and was myself suffering from elder abuse though I had commited no sin ( a long and twisted tale) I truly began to feel as if I was going crazy in there. Everyone seemed so confused and the talks were getting weird too, with the elders putting their own strange spin on everything. I was getting so frustrated and upset I felt like I was going crazy. I finally had to leave and go into therapy. I didn't want to spend another day with these people and the thought of spending an eternity with them made me feel really crazy. I had some friends outside of the Org that were good people who had their lives together and I would much rather spend time with them. I am better now that I have removed myself from the insanity. I see the few young people left there being dragged around town out in service and they look so unhappy. I couldn't take watching them anymore--watching the young people was especially painful. Hope some of them can escape.

6

Dating rules for the mature jw. What are they?

by topcat in

jw
friends

i'm just curious.

i am not a jw, nor do i ever plan on becoming one, however, after reading some posts regarding dating i was wondering how couples who are say 40+ handle it.

if either had been married previously and were now single again how does one begin dating when there appears to be so much control?

cyber-sista

I remember when a friend was dating and went to a Mcdonald's with her fiance. Another JW saw her there and reported them and they were counceled by the elders for doing that. They were both adults in their 30s with kids, etc. It was all innocent, but a big deal was made out of it. . How can you ever get to know someone if you aren't allowed to spent some time alone with them without some chaperone there breathing down your neck?

My adult daughter who never became a JW started to date a man who was not a JW. Even though she only attended meetings occasionally she was counceled to "marry only in the lord" (even though she was not "in the lord" herself). I was counceled that I should make her do what they wanted her to do and that she should obey me even though she was an adult and her father was an unbeliever... She was expected to have a chaperone too, but no JW would chaperone them because she was not a witness and neither was he. It was a catch 22 situation and one of the many things that made me leave the Org.--it got worst than that--I am far away from it all now and glad. My daughter is happily married to a kind and intellegent man--not a JW.