Looking back - I was a believer. Being born into the whole thing is its own trap. I have particularly idealistic relatives and this leads to a severely distorted view of the world imo.
I also believe that my deep down person who I am inside would inevitably reveal itself and oppose such strong control. It was critical I think though, for me to have 'irregular' (another jw term) for several yrs so I could start to think for myself. Of course 'independent thinking' being a great sin in the wts.
BluesBrother I like your points. I 'sacrificed' much to build my whole life around kh activites. I fought with the idea in the last 5 yrs of 'how can I know better than the much smarter bros in the gb?' and your 3rd point - It also took something special for me to go down the path (took 5 yrs) of realizing its baloney, namely, bethel, and reading the Bible from start to finish as required in 1st yr b.
And I really love how most in the org would be looking at me now thinking I'm a weak one - arrrrgh! It might even be true but convicted only because of a lack of meeting att and (counted) service hrs cuz for the last year or so anytime I 'witnessed' I didn't count the time anyway - ha.
boa