Posts by Incognito

64

Should I allow my mom to see the grandchildren?

by confusedandalone in

so i am not officially da/do yet and my family has shunned me hard.

today crying my mother calls me to beg to see my children... should i let her?

i feel that if you can speak abusive of your own son and wife and shun the.

Incognito

I would suggest that you not permit any visits, supervised or not - not without them earning it.

At this point, your parents have done nothing to undo their unloving attitudes and actions against you and your wife yet your mother turns on the waterworks and expects to be given anything she wants. I do expect that your parents are a package deal so if your mother is provided visitation, your father also benefits.

By you giving-in to her attempt to manipulate you, you are indirectly saying to your parents and to your children that what your parents say negatively about you is correct and their actions are justified.

Your parents each individually made a conscience decision to treat you in the manner they have over the past months. They could have made a decision to not do so if even only for the purpose to maintain a relationship with their grandchildren, but they didn't. They burned bridges. They must be forced to realize that every action has risk and a consequence so the consequence for treating you as they have is not only cutting you off but also loosing their relationship with their grandchildren

Treating you or your wife as they have is totally unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Their behavior sets a bad example for your children and as your responsibility is to safeguard your children's welfare, inappropriate behavior should not be condoned.

Make it clear to your parents how you feel and why you must take this firm stance and let them think on this for a while. If after some time, they show efforts to make amends, only then should you consider permitting them association with your entire family.

Make them earn the privilage to visit with you and your family.

11

Someone I know wants to go back to the meetings

by StephaneLaliberte in

jw
friends

i am presently fadding out and a person that i know sent me an email telling me he was going back to his meeting.

how can i let him know that i think he probably will be better outside if he keeps trying without running the risk that he goes back and forward the email to a local elder?.

.

Incognito

Wish him luck, oops, "good-fortune" and let him carry-on with what he plans to do.

As JW's, it was engrained in us that it's our responsibility to save everyone else. Although as humans , we wish to protect others from harm but unless the other person is open minded and will look at and accept facts when given, they will oppose whatever information is provided. That is usually OK in most circumstances but in the JW world, brain washing and blind allegence to the organization results in adherents reporting others for having views contrary to official policy. Someone that hasn't been attending and even those who live a lifestyle which is contrary to WT teachings, does not mean they no longer hold the WT as 'The Truth'.

If and when he is ready to question the validity of what is presented from the WT, he will then seek his own answers to his questions, wherever those answers may come from. As you are presently fading, you aren't recognized as taking a stand against the organization so in likelihood, he will not confide in you any doubts he may have if he has any. Just as you can't trust him to keep confidential any conversation you have with him, he also can't trust you for the same reasons.

If you do decide to share with him your reasons for questioning what you have been taught, it cannot be in writing or in a conversation that occurs with anyone else present.

29

WT Mantras / Thought Stoppers

by Ding in

i've been thinking about how the gb controls jws through the use of short phrases or scripture quotes (often partial quotes ripped out of context).. think of the sound-bite responses you know jws are going to give you in response to points you try to make to them.. ones that come to my mind immediately are:.

-- "the light gets brighter and brighter.".

-- "who, then, is the faithful and discreet slave?".

Incognito

'Things are soooo baaaaad (crime, violence, weather, etc) that we know the end has got to be sooooon.'

{"With all due respect sister Susie, with your education, do you really think that you know more than our governing

body??????!!!!!!!!!"}

As the elder was comparing your level of education to that of the GB, since the GB is made-up of individuals, what level of education is he suggesting is required to be a GB member?

29

WT Mantras / Thought Stoppers

by Ding in

i've been thinking about how the gb controls jws through the use of short phrases or scripture quotes (often partial quotes ripped out of context).. think of the sound-bite responses you know jws are going to give you in response to points you try to make to them.. ones that come to my mind immediately are:.

-- "the light gets brighter and brighter.".

-- "who, then, is the faithful and discreet slave?".

Incognito

'Things are soooo baaaaad (crime, violence, weather, etc) that we know the end has got to be sooooon.'

{"With all due respect sister Susie, with your education, do you really think that you know more than our governing

body??????!!!!!!!!!"}

As the elder was comparing your level of education to that of the GB, since the GB is made-up of individuals, what level of education is he suggesting is required to be a GB member?

27

Ray Franz

by thedog1 in

jw
friends

am reading coc at the moment, about half way through.

just finished reading some of the details of what happened in malawi and mexico years ago.

which reminded me that in the early 80's a very well known elder in the country i was then living in went to new york as he had discovered all the discrepencies between what had happened in malawi and in mexico and wanted to know what the gb had to say about it.

Incognito

Although the reasons given by the WT for the persecution were totally incorrect, anyone being subjected to abuse, rape, torture & murder for any reason, is wrong.

Any of the Sis & Bros around the world who did write letters of protest to the Malawi Gov't, did a decent act regardless of their original reason or motivation for doing so. There is nothing to regret for anyone here who did likewise.

Regrettably, JWs will not speak-up when anyone other than JWs are being oppressed.

34

Cost of new Kingdom Halls?

by Blttex in

i have been told that the cost to build a new kingdom hall is $500k +.

i have a background in commercial construction and this seems pretty high to me, considering all the free labor.

that is just the cost of the building, excluding the lot price.

Incognito

Blondie, although your comment would make sense to most people, don't forget we are discussing a cult here.

To JWs, whatever the WT says, including WT departments (ie: RBC), is equivalent to what Jehovah requires. If any are not in agreement with this "arrangement" without question, then they are not in favour with Jehovah. If they are not in Jah's favour, they may as well not attend any congregation as they will not have God's acceptance and will have no hope to survive Armageddon.

Carrot and stick! If you can't make the effort to attempt to reach the carrot, you will get the stick as a whip across your back.

34

Cost of new Kingdom Halls?

by Blttex in

i have been told that the cost to build a new kingdom hall is $500k +.

i have a background in commercial construction and this seems pretty high to me, considering all the free labor.

that is just the cost of the building, excluding the lot price.

Incognito

When there was discussion in the small town congregation where we previously were located, whether to remodel or tear down and build new, the subject of cost was discussed.

One of the MS made a comment after hearing the exorbitant costs quoted, that "we don't need to COMPETE with the _______'s (affluent congregation)." The affluent congregation he mentioned had just completed a build of a new hall only weeks prior while many in our congregation had participated in that build. Although many R&F congregants agreed, the elders were not so 'joyful' with his comment.

Our congregation typically had issues paying basic monthly operating expenses never mind any additional burden of a major renovation much less a new building.

As the RBC 'recommended' that the existing building be replaced, although it was not very old (ie:< 20 years, IIRC), the controlling elders continued to push to construct a new building even though it appeared the majority of the congregation indicated a preference to renovate. In addition to some age related issues, our existing building had a style not in keeping with the single level 'cookie cutter' design that the WT later adopted. Most issues other than the design were easily correctible at moderate cost.

A female congregate commented that 'we all like nice and new but it just isn't realistic or affordable'. One elder made the statement from the podium that it didn't matter what anyone thought or wanted, a new building was going to proceed as that is what the RBC (= WT = God) had instructed.

In the end, a new building was constructed as per the RBC. The building is now another 'cookie' that appears virtually identical to so many others.

I understand that the elders who had pushed for the new building, all moved away shortly thereafter. I don't know how well the congregation is paying expenses as my family and I have since parted association with that congregation and ultimately, with the religion.

25

Naughtiness in my bathroom

by usualusername in

jw
friends

i have some guests coming over to spend xmas with me for a couple of days.

they are my friends family and i have a larger place than them and am playing host.. dilemma.

they are christians and i have some postcards in my bathroom that are slightly naughty.

Incognito

The fact that you're asking what to do implies that you're not comfortable with leaving the items in plain view otherwise, I doubt you would think of asking.

If the children that are to stay with you were those of close relatives or people you have a personal relationship with, would you be more likely to place the items out of view while they are staying?

46

What are the buzz words or trigger for JWs?

by UBM101 in

i read steve hassan's book and he mentioned about buzz words or triggers that call out the cult personality of a victim of mind controlling cult.

when you were in, what triggered you?.

Incognito

"Special..." meeting/assembly/talk

"the Society"

"the Committee"

"Marked"

"on re-proof"

"Disfellowshipped"

"Apostate"

"Demonized"

"Evil Slave"

"Real/True Christian"

"Convention Delegate"

10

PM icon gone?

by Mickey mouse in

can anyone point me in the direction of pms?

the little envelope icon in the top right corner has gone.. thanks..

Incognito

Thank you Xanthippe for the instructions.

I also see my icon has returned. Thanks Simon!

Fading it when no new messages or changing its colour is probably a great solution.