Posts by Incognito

77

Trying To Leave - Im Going Crazy

by pale.emperor in

this is my first post.

i really feel i need to leave the jw's rather than go along pretending everything is perfect etc.

no friends, me at work.

Incognito

I keep receiving the impression that you and she don't really communicate, and maybe never have. I seem's that you're willing to outwardly appear to accept whatever indiscretions she does, but then internalize the situation without calling her out and discussing matters with her.

Did she actually ask to be forgiven or did you quickly forgive her so as not to need to discuss and deal with the problem?

Marriage involves a sacred trust which is freely given to each other when you married. She doesn't seem to understand that. She broke that trust long before she went to the hotel, first in reporting your private marriage matters to her parents, and then in sexting with another man. The actual sex with another man, was the ultimate trust breaking act. Although you don't want to hold the incident over her head, she should need to earn your trust again.

She has severe OCD

And yet, her family and you, continue enabling this condition instead of helping her to obtain the help and support she requires. She needs professional help if she, or you, have any hope she will cope with the OCD so it is not always controlling her.

In support of fredo's prior comments, you also would benefit from counselling. Things will not change unless you're willing to allow change.

77

Trying To Leave - Im Going Crazy

by pale.emperor in

this is my first post.

i really feel i need to leave the jw's rather than go along pretending everything is perfect etc.

no friends, me at work.

Incognito

Welcome!

You love your wife, I get that, but that doesn't mean that you should or will accept anything she does. When you became married, you both vowed to love, honour, support and respect each other. She hasn't been living-up to her part of the vow. You need to stop accepting her bad behaviour.

If you hope to remain married, you need to have a calm, rational discussion with her on your expectations and what is and what is not appropriate behavior in your marriage. Her discussing everything with her parents or anyone else, is inappropriate and unacceptable.

You will need to do similar with her parents. Don't rely on your wife to set boundaries with her parents as she opened the gate to cause them to be as involved as they are. While you should expect she will support whatever boundaries are established, you need to be the one to set them.

With regard to her 'affair', the excuse of her fear of being a Mom is obviously BS. Did she first discuss those fears with you as her partner? If she wanted 'spiritual' counselling, why would she be contacting an elder in another cong?

If they were texting naked photos and sexual fantasies in advance of their private meeting, then she knew full well what was to happen in the hotel and it was all premeditated.

As she wouldn't be texting those types of things immediately on first meeting someone, I suspect the relationship had been going on for some time but finding out she was pregnant, caused her additional guilt which she wanted to unload.

27

Jehovah's Witnesses the richest religion in the world..

by wwjdnwt in

i don't post here too much..i am more of a lurker.

but, wanted to share recent conversation with jw family member.. one of my jw relatives recently went to visit another jw relative that is "serving where the need is great",.

when my jw relative returned home and i was talking with him, who is an older jw who has been in for over 50 years, was so excited to tell me about the special talk.

Incognito

If I was still a donating member, that comment would lead me to reconsider any further donations. If they're so rich, they don't need my money.

36

I have too much crap!! How to declutter/dehoard.....

by Muddy Waters in

some areas of our home are very nice, tidy, clean.

and other rooms are just junk and clutter and clothes and papers.... omg.

and now that we are getting older, we realize that we face a time of transition -- and this is hard to cope with too, as we believed the lie that we would never get old, etc.

Incognito

While I haven't 'yet' experienced any issues with DVD's, no technology is 100% reliable. Having copies in multiple places ensures at least one copy remains available even if your favourite cloud service should suddenly disappear or be purchased.

File format is a whole other concern. While PDF seems to currently be a universal standard, will it be replaced in 10 years? Who can say. Whatever format is utilized, should be periodically reviewed to ensure the data remains current and accessible.

While paper documents and photos are somewhat fragile, take-up much space, are heavy and are not easily located or searched, they continue to archive fairly well.

36

I have too much crap!! How to declutter/dehoard.....

by Muddy Waters in

some areas of our home are very nice, tidy, clean.

and other rooms are just junk and clutter and clothes and papers.... omg.

and now that we are getting older, we realize that we face a time of transition -- and this is hard to cope with too, as we believed the lie that we would never get old, etc.

Incognito

Photo prints, slides, negatives, VHS, Super8, Regular8 movies and other outdated formats, can all be transferred to DVD. There are services that perform the format conversions for a fee. While the actual process will not require your time, you still need to accumulate, sort and get the originals to the conversion service.

Since no-one really knows how long a DVD or other media will remain readable or continue as a current technology, it would be best to also obtain a second copy on a flash drive or other alternate media. Make a back-up online also incase of fire, flood, tornado or other tragedy occuring at your home.

While you may continue to want to keep some of the originals, they can be safely stored away somewhere as viewing the digital versions will be more convienient and more likely to be viewed and shared. Old S8 & R8 film becomes brittle over time and who continues to hold onto a VHS player, just because you have stuff recorded to tape?

36

I have too much crap!! How to declutter/dehoard.....

by Muddy Waters in

some areas of our home are very nice, tidy, clean.

and other rooms are just junk and clutter and clothes and papers.... omg.

and now that we are getting older, we realize that we face a time of transition -- and this is hard to cope with too, as we believed the lie that we would never get old, etc.

Incognito

Papers are a problem.

I purchased a scanner that will scan 25 pages/min, both sides at one time. As most of us have computers, any documents worth keeping, maybe saved as PDF files which can be searchable if optical character recognition is enabled during the file creation process.

Of course, good file habits are needed for digital files also as hard drives can quickly become cluttered. Outdated digital files need to be purged also but disposing of them is not so backbreaking and doesn't require much physical space.

Most utility and other bills may now be obtained over the web thereby reducing the amount of paper entering the home.

Home Depot will e-mail a receipt to your email address before you even leave the store. If you pay by credit card or debit card, your email address will be linked to the card and you will be prompted to accept the email every time the card is used.

Receipts and business cards are easily scanned with a phone camera as there are apps for that purpose which will also create PDF files.

Files maybe stored locally but need to be backed-up as hard drives do fail. DropBox, One-Drive, Google Drive are all also storage options, many of which include some space at no-charge. EverNote and One Note are also options for entering and keeping data directly.

Here's a link to ideas on going paperless: http://www.documentsnap.com

24

Just got an apology from an exJW

by Village Idiot in

jw
friends

so i'm back from the store walking to my apartment, over a hundred units in the complex - all jws and ex-jws - and i see someone talking to an ex-jw neighbor of mine.

she turns around and says "now there's some else i have to apologize to".. she identified herself as an old neighbor who used to play as a jw child right by my place.

she had told me how she was raised to consider me and all the ex-jws in the apartment complex as evil and thought she had to apologize for that.. made my day.

Incognito

I don't know if any of these apologies made anyone feel better overall, come to think of it. :rebel8
Flag Dislike Like

rebel8, did you feel better as a result? You are more than an 'anyone', you are a someone!

52

$10 per pub. Money begging session last night

by StarTrekAngel in

last night, during our "christian life and ministry" meeting, we had a session on local needs.

elder opened the talk with a disclaimer saying that this was a reminder (cited psalms about how david loved jehovahs reminders).

he reminded us of how bless we are of having our own local assembly hall.

Incognito

Most if not all of the existing AHs were paid for through separate specific donations made by JWs in each circuit, donated before and during the AH construction. If WT had provided any funding, it would have been as a mortgage to make-up for any shortfall in the initial fund raising.

In the past, each circuit maintained its own financial accounts. Often, even after sending a substantial (voluntary) donation to WT, there was surplus which carried over to the next CA and was added to whatever was donated at that assembly. If an assembly received less donations, perhaps due to local economic issues, the carried-over surplus usually made-up for any shortfall.

It was a relatively good system until WT became greedy and demanded all money each circuit held in surplus. Now, a large donation to WT is built into the rate per publisher. If there does happen to be additional funds realized beyond the publisher's daily rate, that too is sent to WT as an additional donation. Calling the expense 'maintenance' or an 'assembly hall expense', is in reality, misrepresentation.

29

Who did you believe the scriptures were describing when you were a JW?

by James Mixon in

it never hit me until i was out.

matt:23;4 "they tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them.

on other people shoulders".

Incognito

I recall so often, hearing talks citing scriptures that said NOT to behave in a certain way, only to have that same speaker go on to praise WT & JWs for behaving in the exact manner the scripture said not to.

Just as with the May 2015 JWTV netcast, GB Lett claimed WT does not beg or solicit donations, but then carried on for the next hour doing exactly that.

Either JWs are brainwashed zombies or they have tuned themselves out to what is being said and just don't care.

32

Are the 2015 Belgium Concert for Delegates and Kingdom Hall Cowboy Footloose Videos on Youtube for real?

by Maryo in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo0fxyk4iba.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qxdgtaskfm.

i find these shocking.

Incognito

We couldn't play anything but Kingdom songs while cleaning the KH.

As related in another thread, during the '70s as a pre-teen/teen, I recall Bros & Sis from Mexico while attending the Int Conv in Toronto, performed native dancing in their native dress, on the stage after the sessions were over. It was done tastefully and modestly with no cat calls and the music was music only, no singing. While most everyone stayed and enjoyed the change of pace, it was soon outlawed as that type of behaviour was not appropriate in Jehovah's house of worship.

With the party atmosphere now evident in these videos, What's next? Beer 'N shooters in the KH?