Dave,
I spent most of my years from 1972 thru 1993 with absolute bitterness and hate for not only my mom and her husband, but for the JW's. This drove many of my actions, or reactions, to things in life. Most of those reactions ended up badly, for me and others.
After a few drunken motorcycle wrecks, the courts decided it was time for a change. Little did I know that by changing my partying habits, I would also "short out" the wires from past teachings.
The deal quoted above, about walking into holes in the sidewalk, was also taught to me early on in my meetings with a therapy lady about codependence. It showed me very clearly how things happen, and how I can control them... or not. How many times have we complained about having a hangover, or having over ate... as if it was someone elses fault? Everything we do is in our own control, like it or not. Anyone with the ability to turn on a computer, log into this site, and digest the contents also has the ability to take total control of their own actions, and thus their lives.
So, the short answer to "How am I shorting them out" is by totally controling my actions and thoughts. Learn, adjust, and move on.
Animal