The last time I walked into a Kingdom Hall was last year's memorial. I knew when I walked out, it would be my last meeting for at least a year. The speaker spent about 50 minutes on explaining why none of us were good enough to partake - not that I ever wanted to - but, it finally hit me as to how ridiculous this whole ritual was. MILLIONS of witness and witness friendly people buying new outfits, putting a special effort out in service this month, changing their schedules around to observe this occaision where 2% had the "right" to partake. I walked away feeling -once again - not good enough. I decided...I wouldn't be doing that anymore. It's not healthy. And thanks to THIS SITE and all of your great commentary...I won't be attending this year for the first time in my life!!! Why help those bogus numbers? And speaking of numbers...it bugged me that the 144,000 kept hovering around the same number - even increasing some years.
nojudgement
JoinedPosts by nojudgement
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The Memorial: Blasphemy or Monty Python Sketch?
by metatron insoon the special night will be upon us, when millions of jehovah's witnesses.
will gather together for the sacred purpose of merely passing around the emblems.
of christian salvation and rejecting them.. this event proves to me that anything, no matter how silly, will be treated solemnly.
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33
Coming Out With Pride & Confidence!
by Corvin ini have only been visiting this board for a couple months, but wow, how it has helped me!
thanks to everyone who has shared information and their stories, given advice, listened, reasoned, confessed, vented, cussed, challenged and supported.
i am formerly known as "hunyadi", but i made the decision to come out a few weeks ago.
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nojudgement
Cheers to Corvin!!!!!!!!! Fantastic post. I love your notice to the Elders, GB, and Lurkers. Well stated!!!! Thanks for coming out with pride and confidence.
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Covering up bathroom mirrors at the assemblies!!!
by nojudgement inthis was one of the craziest things i remember about the summer conventions.
i would go into the sister's bathrooms and the mirrors would all be taped up with brown paper so that we couldn't look at our reflections.
were were amish or something?
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nojudgement
Sassy: LOL "important information from the platform!" - If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that line....gag. :-)
Greenpalmtreesstillmine: Thanks for the bathroom insider info....I guess that makes sense. But it still irks me to think about.
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Covering up bathroom mirrors at the assemblies!!!
by nojudgement inthis was one of the craziest things i remember about the summer conventions.
i would go into the sister's bathrooms and the mirrors would all be taped up with brown paper so that we couldn't look at our reflections.
were were amish or something?
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nojudgement
This was one of the craziest things I remember about the summer conventions. I would go into the sister's bathrooms and the mirrors would all be taped up with brown paper so that we couldn't look at our reflections. Were were Amish or something? I never understood that. Were the sisters spending too much time primping? It seemed so controlling now that I reflect on it. As if we couldn't be trusted and would dilly-dally in front of the mirror if they didn't cover them up for us. The stench in those bathrooms from the baby diapers was enough to make anyone not want to linger longer than taking care of their business. I used to love when the sister would rebel and would start tearing off the edges. Did anyone else have that experience with the mirrors? Does any ex-elder no the thinking behind that??? Just wondering....
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What One JW Belief Could You Never Totally Accept???
by minimus infor me it was that god will destroy billions of innocent children simply because their parents weren't jehovah's witnesses.....and you??
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nojudgement
How it was okay to celebrate anniversarys but not BIRTHDAYS????
And yet it was okay to celebrate marriage because Jehovah instituted it???? Did he not also institute life?
How could you not honor your loved ones by acknowledging the very special day that they were miraculously brought into this world by the giver of life. Unthinkable to me. Now that I'm in the world...I'm the biggest birthday celebrater my friends have ever seen. They threw me my first party at age 34 and had a "1" on the cake and balloons with "1" on them...because - technically - it was my first birthday party. It was very touching and it felt wonderful. At times, I actually felt guilty to have all that attention brought to myself. I'm learning each year how to enjoy it a little more because I see how wonderful it feels to acknowledge my loved ones birthdays. I even call my parents (who are in the truth and don't know that I'm a fader) on their birthdays. They always chuckle and say..."oh stop it." But I know they love it. They expect that call each year.
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JUST READ CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE
by marie67 ini'm new to this forum.
actually i've been a lurker for awhile.
posted on sassy's call to the newbies.
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nojudgement
I think I need to read Crises of Consciense. Is it in normal bookstores or do I need to go to Amazon.com???
Anyway, I am with you on leaving when the whole family is in. Sooooooooooo difficult to even think about making a stand. I've been a fader for 3 years. My family has no idea. My dad is an elder and he and my mom LOVE the truth. They are just 2 happy little old people in love and serving Jehovah. They have done it so long...they know no other way. It will destroy their world when they find out about me - who they believe to be the perfect daughter. They are so proud. I feel like such a "poser" at family gatherings. I cringe when they suggest coming out to visit my hall. I live 1.5 hours away. Anyway, I know this will all come to a head one of these days when I choose a worldly mate. I figure I will be disowned until I pop out a grandchild for them. Then they will be their tested to their limits.
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Introductions
by CeriseRose inwell not 'new', as i'm over 30. heh but i'm newly out (letter of disassociation dropped off at kh end of january, and i was announced last thursday night).
i posted my 'story' on a different ex-jw board, and as it is so long, i'm not reprinting it.
hehe even with cut and paste it's icky.
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nojudgement
Welcome Cerise. I am to am new. I read your whole story on the other site. Amazing....the lack of love in the organization. It is psychotic. It's funny how once you are on the fringe...all of your confidential information is up for grabs from "friends" who have lent a shoulder to cry on. I've had more true friends who loved me without a motive in the world, then I ever found in the truth. Friends who would keep your confidence and who love you without judgement. It feels wonderful. I hope your disassociation is the beginning of helping you to find peace. You've been through so much with your losses. My heart goes out to you. Looking forward to your posts...
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Passing the time at JW Assemblies
by Leolaia inlove_truth, in describing the utter dullness of jw assemblies and conventions, just gave me an interesting idea for a thread.
what were some of the ways you tried to make the hours pass?
some of mine: looking at the interesting refracting patterns the arena floodlights made on my eyeglasses when looking thru them at an angle.looking for people i knew from my congregation and others in the mass of people in the arena.counting the number of people leaving the section to go to the bathroompractice writing people's names in elvish scripthaving a conversation with friends a row behind me by passing notes back and forthseeing how many pages of my bible stick together when i slam a wad of gum in between its pages.. what else?
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nojudgement
Leolaia - Yes, I know, I could hardly believe people in the hall when they would sigh and get all starry-eyed because the convention was only "weeks away." I would just be plain resentful that I was using precious vacation days to be bored out of my mind. At least towards the end of my JW career I was comfortable in an indoor place. Growing up...I would swelter in the Dodger Stadium heat - staring at someone's umbrella all day long. Then the drama would come and everyone had to put the umbrella's down - that's when I'd get a 3rd degree burn from the beaming sun. Although, in some ways those were the good old days because back then you could eat a bucket of chicken in your seat during the session. My cousin actually projectile coughed a chicken skin on a sister's afro in front of us. We couldn't stop laughing because her afro was soo big she didn't feel it. We got in big trouble!!!
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Passing the time at JW Assemblies
by Leolaia inlove_truth, in describing the utter dullness of jw assemblies and conventions, just gave me an interesting idea for a thread.
what were some of the ways you tried to make the hours pass?
some of mine: looking at the interesting refracting patterns the arena floodlights made on my eyeglasses when looking thru them at an angle.looking for people i knew from my congregation and others in the mass of people in the arena.counting the number of people leaving the section to go to the bathroompractice writing people's names in elvish scripthaving a conversation with friends a row behind me by passing notes back and forthseeing how many pages of my bible stick together when i slam a wad of gum in between its pages.. what else?
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nojudgement
My program for passing time:
- Make sure I am good and tired before I sit down so that by the time I sit down, I'm relieved to be just sitting down.
- After the song and prayer and while they are doing the phoney family summary of the daily text, I used to scan the program and look up all the songs that were going to be song throughout the convention and rate them "hate that one, catchy tune, ugh - I'll make sure I'm back late from lunch so that I don't have to sing it, like it, etc."
- Then I'd look at all of the talk titles and once again discover there would be no encouragement for the SINGLE people who were trying to serve faithfully in their 30's and beyond. Only families, widows and the youth.
- Cringe when I would read topics that had anything to do with a symposium on bible prophesy. Daniel, Isaiah, Revelation. Ack!!! I just didn't care enough to hear all those details. I would rather just take their word for whatever they are thinking and not have to hear about what the beast and the copper bottom statue and the 3 witnesses mean.
- After my program review. I dive into my purse and remove a candy or mint to suck on. I would have a whole supply of mints, candy, gum to keep myself stimulated. No wonder I would have a sugar crash in the afternoon.
- Then I'd scan the crowd on the assembly floor and watch all of the people getting up and down and up and down and I'd rate their outfits.
- I'd maybe start listening by now and looking up scriptures or notetaking - just to burn some of the candy calorie off and keep active.
- I'd make BIG check marks next to each talk as it passed to give myself mental encouragement that we were actually moving forward and this would end soon.
- When I could stand it no more...I would do the bathroom run and try to run into as many people as possible to chat with. When I was younger my parents would mouth at me "where have you been, what took you so long." I would just shrug my shoulders and say "you know the lines are out the door and the bathroom smelled like caca so I had to find one that didn't make me gag."
I used to really hate it when they would summarize the previous day, or the whole assembly at the end! It was like having to relive a nightmare! And the concluding prayer!!!!! Ack! I finally just learned to sit down. Not that I can't stand for 7 minutes...but I would be so annoyed standing there I would want to hurl myself over the rail. Then it would be OVER!!!
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Are there any Newbies out there???
by Sassy ini was just wondering if there were any new members out there who haven't yet said hello... if so.. please come in and say hi here.. .
its an easy way to get started.. .
i know there are those who will read/lurk for a while but one day they jump in and say hi.... .
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nojudgement
Hello!!! First post. I found this site a week ago and I'm completely addicted. Having been raised in the "truth" - this kind of thing is so taboo I was relieved to discover I didn't immediately turn into a piller of salt. I have REALLY enjoyed reading about your personal experiences and find it astonishing how much I relate to most of you. I've been a fader for 3 years. My whole family is in - and they have NO CLUE I'm gone, gone, gone. I live in a different town. (An excellent way to slip away - have your publisher cards transferred from you family's hall - then disapper). I have always believed - this was the "truth" and I just wasn't good enough and couldn't do it. It's a little hard to handle that - it probably wasn't - but with all the issues I have with the organization - in some ways it is JUST what I needed to discover. I want to have a full life and feel worthy. I do worry about loosing my family one day, but I am comforted to know there is a support group, such as this available. I have howled with laughter at all the advice for faders. Awesome ideas. In fact, the last time an elder called me...I was a slippery fish. I admitted to nothing...said stuff like "really busy at work" "I admire (blah) brothers like yourself who can do so much, how do you do it? (trying to throw him off of my scent)" "maybe one day soon, I'll return, I just can't handle all of the pressure, I feel like I might have a breakdown." It worked!!!! I haven't heard from them in over a year. My main problem with the religion is the disfellowshipping! I can't stand it. And all the judgement. I couldn't stand sitting in car groups with the pioneers and hearing them gossip and judge anyone who wasn't in their click. It was ridiculous. Well, obviously I have a lot to say here...you'll be hearing MUCH MORE from me. Especially when I need to come out of my JW closet with the parents. I truly believe my mother will have a fatal heart attack...which is why I've been protecting her. Anyway, thanks to all of you! Keep them posts coming....