JUST READ CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE

marie67

I'm new to this forum. Actually I've been a lurker for awhile. Posted on Sassy's call to the newbies. Like i mentioned there I am quite upset about what I've read.I have been an active jw for quite awhile.I have always wholeheartly believed it. But now.....I have serious doubts. But I am between a rock and a hard place as they say!!!!! I have so much family that are in that it would be devastating to make a big stand and leave.

I've never been hypocrite and now I feel like a first class one because now I feel like I'm living a lie!!! I've just had a baby and now how am I going teach him these lies?????? What will I teach him!!!!! It's all VERY CONFUSING!! Thanks for letting me vent abit. I have much more venting to do at a later time!!! =^..^=

Funchback

Hi, marie67!

Welcome to the Forum! Many of us have been where you've been. I was just there and I finally got the courage to say "No more meetings!" in August, 2003. We all have to do it at our own pace. Hopefully, you'll find the support you need right here @ JWD.

Hang in there, my friend. Take baby steps.

Brian

SixofNine

welcome to the forum marie67.

First off, take a deep breath... and think about this: nothing has changed since you read CofC. Except you. Your knowledge base has just expanded greatly, your mind has a thousand new directions to look into..... but the world around you, it's just puttering along as always. Your new baby (congrats) is just one of millions of new babys born that day. The JW organization is no more or less rotten than it was the day you got baptised (which is to say very rotten, lol).

Be relieved, first and foremost, even where your son is concerned. Of course you aren't going to teach him those lies. What will you teach him? Hopefully nothing that you can't back up with hard evidence.... what a gift that is to a child, being taught to think logically first, emotionally second. Teach him not to accept your word simply because you're his mother, you've seen the damage that can do.

It sounds like you and your husband are on the same page? That is great. Does he post here?

Take your time, but be open to epiphanies. This will likely hurt, because of family, but it doesn't have to drag you down, and it doesn't have to hurt too much, or for too long. Attitude is everything. Don't be afraid to be without belief. In spite of what everyone told us, it isn't really all that frightening to find oneself without a firm belief in a specific doctrine... in fact, it can be a relief, since those beliefs, those doctrines, didn't really make any sense and our subconcious knew they didnt.

Best to you

and, ps. this is a long shot, but you aren't from Tx originally are you? you can pm me if you'd rather not say on the forum.

MorpheuzX

Maria67, welcome to the forum. So many of us here, probably almost all of us, have felt the exact same things that you are now when we finally had our eyes opened to the lies of the WTS.

I agree with sixofnine, take your time. You don't have to rush out and do anything rash to alienate your family. There are a whole lot of faders here and I hope you get the support you'll need after leaving the organization.

About feeling like a hypocrite, don't. You were tricked by a treacherous organization that's fooled millions of other well-intended, honest, good-hearted people.

FlyingHighNow

You don't have to teach your children lies. Teach them 1John 4:8 "He that does not love has not come to know God because God is love."

This is the only part of the Bible that I am sure of anymore. It's what I tell my children who are young adults and my grandchildren.

You don't have to do anything rash. Take it all one day at a time. If you must, take it by the moment. The answers will come with time.Take comfort in the fact that there are millions of former and current JWs who feel as you do. This too shall pass.

Flyin'

Dawn

Hi Marie:

Welcome! Don't fret - you have time to research and figure out what you want to do. As far as your new baby - teach nim what you truly believe in your heart is the best for his life. It is our responsibility to lift our children up to a higher place than where we are - in that end each generation can grow better and further.

CountryGuy

Hi Marie67,

Welcome to the board. I hope you learn as much here as I have. It is a great place with a lot of great people here to offer you support.
As my gramma used to say, "We'll treat you so many different ways, you're bound to like one of them!" Hmmm... or was that Dolly Parton?

CountryGuy

codeblue

Welcome Marie!!!

I felt just like you when I read COC....take your time...there is no rush...the bomb has dropped and now you are going thru recovery. I too was raised in the Truth (tm)....but seeing the Dateline Special almost 2 years ago was when my rose colored glasses began to come off. I couldn't stand the hypocrisy, pointing the finger at the Catholic church for their pedophile problem, while the WTBS nicely shoved it under the rug, so we wouldn't even know.

There are a lot of nice people here....keep doing your research. If you get a chance to meet some posters...go for it...you will make new friends and people that really care about you!

Codeblue

Leolaia

Marie, I know from experience that reading such a detailed and paradigm-changing book is overwhelming at first and it might take a while for it to fully sink in and for you to assess your own complex personal situation. That's okay. Best thing is to take things slow, chat with others in similar situations as you, read more material that helps bring things into focus, and eventually decide on what your best course of action might be and the best way to pursue it. I know the feeling of hypocrasy and how I could no longer participate in field service in good conscience and then, as I learned more, it was hard to attend meetings when I realized that the books and magazines were intellectually dishonest and people in their comments were just repeating these distortions as facts. It was a bit much to take after a while, but living at home with my mom I had little choice. Back to your situation, I hope you learn more of the real "truth" and more importantly how to take what you have learned and chart a new course for yourself that navigates around the difficulties you will face in getting out from "the rock and the hard place".

Dansk

Hi marie67 & Family,

First of all, we?d like to congratulate you and your husband on your baby?s arrival.

Congratulations!!

It takes REAL courage to stand up and admit that you?ve been wrong and everyone here understands the immense predicament you are in with having family still in Watchtower. It isn?t going to be easy for you ? but it DOES get better after you make that initial decision to exit, which you will do in your own good time!

My wife and I envy you in that you have realised you have been lied to while your child is still very young. You now have the "luxury" of being able to keep your baby away from the destructive dogma of Watchtower and to bring it up in a happy and healthy family environment; one that is positively not judgemental against one?s fellow man.

I was particularly impressed with this comment you made:

I've never been hypocrite and now I feel like a first class one because now I feel like I'm living a lie!!!

EXCELLENT ? only you have no need to feel like one now. Hypocrisy is concerned with deliberately doing something you know to be wrong. You didn?t know it wasn?t the truth, so you are NO hypocrite!

Because of having family in you and your husband are going to have to do some serious soul-searching. It?s hard, but now you know the truth about Watchtower only YOU can decide the best way to exit; whether to do a slow fade or to just never attend another meeting from here on in.

You?ll probably find your stomachs are in knots at the moment, but please try and focus your energies toward your child. That way you won?t have to think about Watchtower and you have an excellent reason to stay at home - you?re looking after your baby and your husband is looking after you!! That?s ALL the reason you need give to any JW and if you need to stay at home "for however long it takes" to comfort one another that?s YOUR business.

Please take time to read the posts here, especially those which highlight leaving Watchtower, as they?ll give immense comfort and you?ll even pick up an idea or two. NEVER be afraid to ask for advice. Lady Lee, for example, is an excellent counsellor ? a wonderful listener full of good recommendations. And remember, you are not alone. Literally thousands of us have been where you are now and there are more people here than you realise, including ex-elders, ex-CO?s and ex-DO?s. There are even ex-anointed remnant (who have realised they?re nothing of the kind)!

Enjoy your stay and know that you are TRULY among friends. Friends who will take you for who and what you are and not on a conditional basis.

Love to you all,

Ian, Claire, Karl & Dominic

xxxx

Edited to add: this formatting is useless

JUST READ CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE

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