Posts by CeriseRose

27

witness/non-witness romance- how'd yours fare? Check in!

by detective in

i'm just doing this as an easy reference point for our new board members who came here seeking advice on their witness/non-witness romantic relationships.

questions for board members: .

* have you been in this type of relationship?

CeriseRose

Well. I was friends with a 'worldly' man for a long time before we realized that we both had romantic feelings for one another. We both had issues we had to deal with, mine being that I was not supposed to be dating him at all. He never asked me to leave the JWs, nor did he actively influence my decision to leave. His influence came mainly from the unconditional love and support, and the strong caring he showed me. It stood in stark contrast to 98% of the JWs I know and who were my 'friends'.

One of those 'friends', not active in my life at the time and loooong before I was dating my honey, heard me talking to him on my phone and decided that we were dating (we actually were sharing creative writing stories and he had a critique for one of mine...). She went to the elders with this story, based on no evidence and without ever speaking to me. When the elders came to me, I asked why she didn't talk to me first (in the spirit of Matthew 23, as there was nothing to 'witness' and if she thought I had done something that I needed to confess, I was supposed to have the opportunity to confess it on my own). They told me she said she had, which was a bold-faced lie. Fortunately, the elders believed me, and my friend was outraged that a supposed 'friend' could treat my feelings so shabbily.

Once we were in a relationship I managed about 5 months before I could no longer handle living the double life. I left. After I left, I learned how much of the 'truth' is false. I'm so glad I went with my heart and not with my falsely trained conscience. Honey is the light of my life and makes every day a delight to experience. That's the real life.

15

Why I don't celebrate Easter. Warning: pity party going on in this thread

by CeriseRose in

i think back to when i was a kid...a non-jw one.

easter was the time of new dresses, chocolate bunnies (you had to bite the ears off first to make sure it was the solid kind), ham with the little cloves stuck right in it, and peaceful family time.. during my jw years i didn't 'celebrate' it, but it slowly but surely became a 'family' time.

my flesh and blood sister (jw) and all my step family (non-jw) would congregate at the parents' place and we'd play games and eat and laugh.

CeriseRose

Well, by the very nature of a pity party (which was warned in the subject), looking at alternate possibilities was not forefront in my thinking at that moment.

And just as many on here said they were sure they know there is something after, I also admitted that I have no concrete beliefs around that. I also explained why.

So as to "who's to say I won't see her again", that wasn't my point of concern. I don't know what I believe right now, so my mindset is that I won't. Why? Maybe because after losing both parents 7 months apart, believing that I *could* see them, and then having that ripped away from me when I left the JWs, my heart can't take that hope at this time. I survived a lot of very brutal heartache within a tiny amount of time and I'm still healing from that. I may never heal fully, although I hope I do.

I appreciate that others, including yourself, feel that you have the "answer", or may have a belief that brings you comfort when dealing with these kinds of issues. I don't, and can't trust myself to be objective when trying to figure it out. I need more time and I'm allowing myself that time. And while I can appreciate the sentiment of what you say, I can't believe it any more than I can believe the WTS doctrines that I've found to be in error. Just the space I'm in.

Thanks for your response though. It's all food for thought.

10

The Bible (2 scriptures in particular) and Literary Criticism

by CeriseRose in

okay i'm taking my first university level course (english lit) since leaving school almost 20 years ago.

i have had no exposure to the bible other than my own reading of revelation which scared the bejeebus out of me, and learning through the wts (obviously a skewed angle).

when i started this course, i was still going to meetings and a "jw.

CeriseRose

Okay I'm taking my first university level course (English Lit) since leaving school almost 20 years ago. I have had no exposure to the Bible other than my own reading of Revelation which scared the bejeebus out of me, and learning through the WTS (obviously a skewed angle).

When I started this course, I was still going to meetings and a "JW." The first thing the course offered was a literary view of Genesis 1-3 (an example of a myth form of writing). I read it (like I had so many thousands of times before), and read the commentary, all with the view that the WTS promotes. In other words, the comments that the instructor makes that didn't jive with 'them', I discounted as unintelligent and unfounded.

Now, 6 months later, I'm out of the JWs. In reviewing for my final exam coming up this Saturday, I re-read the commentary, with open eyes and heart. And now, what I'd like is comments from others on this commentary...specifically the treatment of Genesis 1:27 and 2:22. It's a totally new concept for me and I have no other knowledge base to confirm or deny the thought. It does interest me though, as I know at some point I'll be needing to decide what I do believe, particularly around the validity of the Bible as a book from god. So here's the comments:

"Two different myths concerning the creation of humanity seem to be compressed in these chapters. In chapter 1, God creates man on the sixth day: 'So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female he created them' (verse 27). 'Man' here refers to the whole species, not just the male. This first statement indicates that men and women were created simultaneously and equally.

However, in chapter 2, verse 22, we find that Eve is created after and out of Adam, a distinctly different version that has long been a primary source for our culture's anti-feminism. Eve's role in the Fall, the subsequent multiplication of her sorrow in childbirth, and God's commandment that her husband "shall rule over" her (chapter 3, verse 16) have been seen to justify the view that women are the cause of human misery and that their position is subordinate to men's."

Thoughts/comments?

15

Why I don't celebrate Easter. Warning: pity party going on in this thread

by CeriseRose in

i think back to when i was a kid...a non-jw one.

easter was the time of new dresses, chocolate bunnies (you had to bite the ears off first to make sure it was the solid kind), ham with the little cloves stuck right in it, and peaceful family time.. during my jw years i didn't 'celebrate' it, but it slowly but surely became a 'family' time.

my flesh and blood sister (jw) and all my step family (non-jw) would congregate at the parents' place and we'd play games and eat and laugh.

CeriseRose

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your comments and hugs and support. I actually slept last night, which always makes my outlook better (plus the fact that Easter is over).

I go through this twice a year, anniversaries of both Mom and Dad's deaths. This is the first year I haven't been a JW and had the support of the few friends I had in the cong, and my flesh n blood sister. That's probably why the loss felt fresher than it had in the last couple years.

I wish I could know or believe about where they are. At some point maybe I'll try to learn more. Right now, I just need a break from hoping along those lines...it sounds kinda backwards, but I just can't trust myself to be objective enough to not start believing things that aren't right/good for me. Sometimes I do feel their presence and do have dreams about them where they tell me things, but I'm still working through what that means...I grew up feeling like I had a 'sixth sense' or high intuition for things, and still believe in that partly, but my association with JWs convinced me it was Satanic and so I still mentally resist it, even now. In time, I hope I'll feel more comfortable in that skin.

Thanks again. *hugs* You're all wonderful.

15

Why I don't celebrate Easter. Warning: pity party going on in this thread

by CeriseRose in

i think back to when i was a kid...a non-jw one.

easter was the time of new dresses, chocolate bunnies (you had to bite the ears off first to make sure it was the solid kind), ham with the little cloves stuck right in it, and peaceful family time.. during my jw years i didn't 'celebrate' it, but it slowly but surely became a 'family' time.

my flesh and blood sister (jw) and all my step family (non-jw) would congregate at the parents' place and we'd play games and eat and laugh.

CeriseRose

I think back to when I was a kid...a non-JW one. Easter was the time of new dresses, chocolate bunnies (you had to bite the ears off first to make sure it was the solid kind), ham with the little cloves stuck right in it, and peaceful family time.

During my JW years I didn't 'celebrate' it, but it slowly but surely became a 'family' time. My flesh and blood sister (JW) and all my step family (non-JW) would congregate at the parents' place and we'd play games and eat and laugh. We didn't spend Christmas with them, but Easter was sort of the replacement. Birds would be out in the yard, the kids would eat their chocolate, and we'd all enjoy being together.

Mom died on Easter weekend, 3 years ago. She was so sick, so tired, and I sat with her, alone on Easter Sunday in her hospital room in the palliative ward. My sis was being picked up from the airport and it was just me and Mom. Mom was so drugged on morphine she was basically out of it, but occasionally she would be lucid enough to know I was there, and to smile at me. I sat cross-stitching, one of the crafts she taught me that my left-handedness could adapt to. It was a cross-stitch we'd worked on together, and I was finishing the actual stitching. The deal was that she would do the french knots, the things I never could quite manage to get right. The cross-stitch got finished, except for those knots. I don't have the heart to even attempt them.

I can feel the quiet in the hospital room like it was yesterday. In my broken heart, it was just yesterday.

After she died, I held on to the hope of the resurrection. I knew that as a non-JW there was no guarantee of it, but I held on. Now, with my eyes open, my beliefs shattered, I am dealing with the horrible reality that I will never see her again. Before it was contingent on my staying faithful, now there's absolutely nothing I can do.

I've been crying for 2 days, not sleeping, not eating. It's like she just died all over again. And there's no "friends" or family, no god, no place to stand to make it better. It hurts so much not to be able to put my arms around her, to not feel her arms around me.

Part of me is mad that I was fooled, lulled into believing I had the answers. I don't. I don't know anything. I don't trust anything.

But mostly I just feel this aching emptiness that won't go away.

Thanks for listening. The only way to keep this turned outward is to keep getting it out.

21

When It Rains, It Pours.......

by Sentinel in

just got news yesterday, indirectlyly from another non-jw family member, that my mom is going to have heart surgery afterall.

they will replace a valve and do a triple by-pass to try to fix her up.

this is such surprising news for me, especially at this time.

CeriseRose

I don't have any words for you. Just *hugs*.

8

JW's History - A Real Cast of Characters!

by Richie in

this is what i found while cruising the internet this afternoon: interesting indeed!

in the beginning god created charles!

charles

CeriseRose

When this particular page loads it comes out HUGE. The pictures are covering some of the text as well. Nothing else on the site or others does it...it's just something weird on this page.

8