by detective 27 Replies latest jw experiences
I'm just doing this as an easy reference point for our new board members who came here seeking advice on their witness/non-witness romantic relationships.
Questions for board members:
* have you been in this type of relationship? If so, are you the witness or non-witness?
*Was/Is the Jehovah's Witness within the relationship active in the religion?
* how did it turn out?
*would you do it again?
Let's help our new friends out. They might as well know their odds.
I have been in a witness-non-witness relationship, it ended up leading to 10 years of happy marriage and going strong yet. The result was my being disfellowshipped. I would do it again in a heartbeat, I would never want to spend one day without my wonderful husband. He gives me understanding and unconditional love that I never got within the org.
I remember a poster named Butalbee who used to post here often.
She was the non-jw involved with a jw. As I remember, that relationship ended unhappily.
She doesn't post here anymore.
* have you been in this type of relationship?
Yep.
* how did it turn out?
Most of the relationships I've had have been pretty good. This on has had its ups & downs, but we've been married for 19 years ... so it's not like every day can be sunshine & roses, ya know?
*would you do it again?
Yeppers.
I am the non-witness end of the equation. I would say the jury is still out whether we are a SUCCESS at it, as it is still a very young marriage. In our favour,
The most difficult aspect is the supposed neutral stance JW's have with the holidays. It is hard to run interference and opposition during the season of the year I associate with warmth, companionship, family, food, and good memories. From his point of view, he becomes increasingly stressed by the "pressure" the "world" puts on him these times of year to "conform". Hmmmm. Who is putting the pressure on whom?
...and how does the KH react? I am treated as an embarrassment, hopefully to be "fixed" soon. Sorry. I like me just the way I am.
I am new, and had a post on my failed relationship with an ex jw. We dated for 5 years, and I believe for the most part it doesn't work. It didn't work for me, as he was still under the JW mindset. It is also difficult when the person you love is never there for the holidays, birthdays, weddings funerals etc I think that in relationships like these the person does care for you, and might love you, but a lot of JW's and even ex Jw's are loyal to the Watchtower and feel the choice between Jehovah and you is tough. From what i have been though and seen you know that you are not the choice. In these situations there is no compromise. I was not willing to become a Jehovah's Witness how could I! He was not willing to move on after being disfellowshipped 7 years ago.
Great I went from one worldy guy to another and had a ball. When I left home I just carried on.
4 years and running so far and now a new baby on the way!
She gets tired (I'm sure) of listening to me complain, but we've done pretty well...
Rev
I started dating an active Witness (my now-husband) - however, he was only in it "for show" because his family was/is still in the religion. He stopped attending meetings after we started dating, although I never asked him to do so. I have maintained and still do that if he ever wanted to go back, I would not stand in his way. Fortunately, I do not think that would ever happen for many reasons.
Back to the point ~ I have never been a Witness but have learned a whole lot!! We had to face a lot of opposition in our relationship, as you can imagine. Wedding planning was the WORST. I cried a LOT. But we made it through, and marriage has been the easiest and most joyous time. I love every minute.
Even in the worst times, I never regretted anything, and my husband tells me he wouldn't change a thing, either. His goal is to never set foot in a Hall again. :)
So that's our story!
I was a raised JW girl -
had a five month engagement to a NON - WITNESS - he broke off the engagement when his Lutheran pastor gave him a book about JW's being a CULT- (imagine that!)
...2 months later - we married anyway. He studied off and on for 10 years, then got baptized, raised kids-
and now we are looking for the book from the pastor to add to our collection since we realize, IT IS A CULT.
With 25 years behind us, we are all out together, enjoying life and no longer stifling our unique personalities.
Best to all -
4JWY
