chok

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Posts by chok

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  7

  Goodbye America

  by Pleasuredome in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yes, i'm leaving the land of suv's today, 2 months after i arrived.

  its been great to see more of california and oregon.

  went to mexico for the first time which was the highlight of my travels here.

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  chok

  Didnt know you had been travelling Pleasuredome! England isnt that bad, surely????

  Welcome back!

  Chok
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  24

  Devote Parents advice me to Disassociate.

  by chok in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  can someone explain to me what this is all about.

  to those of you who dont know me, i starting fading a year ago now, cant believe just how quick that has gone.

  well i separated from my husband, met somebody else, who i have been living for a few months now.

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  chok

  What is really strange, is that after 15years my brother has decided to disassociate himself officially. He has written to both my parents and the congregation ( they havent actually received this letter yet!) I know they wont talk to him. He doesnt have any children so they wont be missing any grandchildren.

  They will continue to talk to me, because I have made it clear that I will not allow them to treat me as a second class citizen whilst still playing happy families with MY children (I know that may sound cruel!) But shunning is cruel and sickening. And besides what would I tell my children, and what would they TEACH them?

  Thats a really good point Bonezz, I hadnt looked at it that way. I guess I would be conforming to their sick little rituals of doing things. To be honest I dont think they need to ask any questions anyway. I think the twinkling lights of my xmas tree says it all!

  Chok

  x
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  24

  Devote Parents advice me to Disassociate.

  by chok in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  can someone explain to me what this is all about.

  to those of you who dont know me, i starting fading a year ago now, cant believe just how quick that has gone.

  well i separated from my husband, met somebody else, who i have been living for a few months now.

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  chok

  Ok, this is the thing. They reckon they will still talk to me if I write the letter. BUT, my older brother (who is gay) has been shunned for about 15 years now, even though he never got officially disfellowshipped. Because of this, whenever they have wanted something of him, a favour or some info or help, they have used the excuse that he isnt disfellowshipped so they can talk to him. I mentioned this to them, and said if I write a letter, it could backfire on me, and you may suddenly decide you are not going to talk to me after all.

  They are my parents, but I really do not trust their motives with this one. My dad says that he has to be seen to to be doing the right thing as a ministerial servant. Well surely the "right thing" is not to talk to me!?!?!?!?

  They said they dont want me to have to go through a judicial committee again. I have told them that the elders could physically beat me with a stick, I aint ever telling them my business, so let them try!

  Also told parents that the congregation needs protecting from the hypocrits that are doing wrong and sitting at the hall, not peeps like me, who have decided to move away from it all, and get on with their lives.

  Chok

  p.s. Nice to hear from you Valis!!!!!
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  24

  Devote Parents advice me to Disassociate.

  by chok in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  can someone explain to me what this is all about.

  to those of you who dont know me, i starting fading a year ago now, cant believe just how quick that has gone.

  well i separated from my husband, met somebody else, who i have been living for a few months now.

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  chok

  Can someone explain to me what this is all about.

  To those of you who dont know me, I starting fading a year ago now, cant believe just how quick that has gone. Well I separated from my husband, met somebody else, who I have been living for a few months now. We are expecting our first child next year which is great. Life is pretty good..in fact its brilliant.

  My parents have been suprisingly good, and are still talking to me. Although to be honest I put this down to the fact that I have two other children that I know they dont want to lose contact with. When I was disfellowshipped when I was younger they didnt have anything to do with me at all, and the situation wasnt anything like it is now!

  Well anyway, they summoned me on the weekend, and I was thinking oh no, here we go. They have decided that their consciences really cant allow them to talk to me anymore. Boy was I wrong. The conversation went like this:

  " We have been doing a lot of thinking over the past few months about the situation, and we think it would be best if you wrote a letter disassociating yourself" my dad speaking

  To this I was stunned and asked why?

  my mum replied "Well you will be showing soon, and it would be better for the congregation in line of you not living in accordance with the scriptures that for their sake, they knew not to talk to you"

  Humph, now I understand! They are know that if I am disassociated, noone will aske after me, like any embarrassing questions about my pregnancy.

  Surely my devote parents should not be encouraging me to out myself??? I thought they were supposed to offer me help and persuade me to turn around and repent. Is this not scriptually wrong to tell someone to disassociate themselves?

  Anyway, life is still wonderful, tis the season of good will and I am loving every second of it.

  Xmas greetings to you all.

  Love

  Chok
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  14

  Permanent loss from being brought up in JW

  by Cunfusious in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for the past few hours i have been reading through this forum and an overwhelming sadness came over me.

  for a long time i thought just getting out and not being part of the organization would be the "escape" that being happy in a normal life provided.

  born and raised (well 17 was it for me) under the tight grips of this organization has made my life a constant battle over right and wrong.

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  chok

  Welcome to the board Michelle

  I haven't been here long myself. So I empathise with what you are feeling right now. My only advice to you would be not to be too hard on yourself and take things one day at a time. You are an individual just like everyone else in the world, and everyone has the right to make their own choices and decisions in life. Noone can live your life for you. What I have learnt so far is that some people mainly within the organisation feel they have a right to say what you should or shouldnt do but they are not actually LIVING your life...YOU ARE!

  Be true to your feelings, follow you gut instinct and I really dont feel you can go far wrong from there.

  I am sure the above sounds quite cliche I know, but what I am realising is that life is really not as hard as you think, well it certainly doesnt have to be.

  Thinking of you.

  ((((((((Michelle))))))))

  Love

  Chok
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  1

  Scared to stop in on a Sunday Afternoon! What if they come round?

  by chok in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am seeking advice here.

  as some of you know i have been fading since december 03. during that time i have had about 3 letters of encouragement from family friends to come back, and messages of how lovely my children are (what they are really saying is 'why am i being an evil mother and not bringing them to the meetings!!!!

  - do i not know i am their lifeline and they will die if i dont go!?!?

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  chok

  Hi there

  I am seeking advice here.

  As some of you know I have been fading since December 03. During that time I have had about 3 letters of encouragement from family friends to come back, and messages of how lovely my children are (what they are really saying is 'why am I being an evil mother and not bringing them to the meetings!!!! - do I not know I am their lifeline and they will die if I dont go!?!?')...and how they really miss me! I've had a little note from an elder asking me if I want to arrange a shepherding call ( that was about 5 months ago now).

  Well the thing is noone has been round, or maybe they have. I deliberately go out on a sunday afternoon cause I reckon this is likely to be the time they will call round on me. How long do I go on like this? Would like to chill out at home on a sunday afternoon, but I am afraid of the confrontation. I mean what will I say? How will I answer their questions? What if my boyfriend is there?

  My family dont want me to get disfellowshipped, so I am trying to fade...but I just dont know what to do if the situation arises where they confront me.

  I feel as though as I am only semi-free from them. I walk down the street looking over my shoulder. I feel like I have a relative happiness and I just want to LIVE fully, like a normal person!

  HELP!

  Chok

  p.s. apparently its the CO's visit this week, so they will probably be all fired up to come round n sort me out! OMG what if the CO comes round????????????????
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  49

  HELP ME! I cant cope with this anymore.

  by chok in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for those of you that remember the story a couple of weeks ago about my 4 year old daughter that declared us a witness free zone to her grandparents (my extremely devout parents!!!

  ) well the little minx strikes again.

  i have just got off the phone from my mother.

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  chok

  Elsewhere, my reply to her statement of Jehovah will forgive me was...that I still have a relationship with him. I believe in him, just that his spirit is not directing the organisation that she believes in. Also I questioned what gave her the right to judge me and say that I was in need of forgiveness. When did she become the judge!

  This did not go down well at all!

  Chok
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  49

  HELP ME! I cant cope with this anymore.

  by chok in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for those of you that remember the story a couple of weeks ago about my 4 year old daughter that declared us a witness free zone to her grandparents (my extremely devout parents!!!

  ) well the little minx strikes again.

  i have just got off the phone from my mother.

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  chok

  Thank you all for your words of encouragement. And sincere encouragement.

  I thought that my mum and dad loved me. Parents are supposed to have this unconditional love for their children, but unfortunately I am seeing that their love HAS conditions. They are that I do what they consider the right thing.

  I was made to feel guilty by being told how hard they had found it when people asked for me at the assembly. Anyone would think I was dead! Why couldnt they just tell them I am well and happy (well trying to be happy!).

  They are annoyed because my ex husbands parents (not J.W's) are going to be able to buy their grandchildren birthday pressies, n celebrate all the other stuff with them. It just sounds to me as though they are jealous that they dont have full control over me and my children.

  The sadness is subsiding a little now, and is being replaced with a horrible feeling of bitterness and pain for how parents can allow men to tell them how to be with their own children.

  I was offered the latest release, a bible study and a discussion with the elders about the things i disagree with about the organisation! I said no to all three, and pleaded that she just let me get on with my life.

  I know this is going to be a long process, i just need to try and keep strong.

  Chok
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  49

  HELP ME! I cant cope with this anymore.

  by chok in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for those of you that remember the story a couple of weeks ago about my 4 year old daughter that declared us a witness free zone to her grandparents (my extremely devout parents!!!

  ) well the little minx strikes again.

  i have just got off the phone from my mother.

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  chok

  For those of you that remember the story a couple of weeks ago about my 4 year old daughter that declared us a Witness free zone to her grandparents (my extremely devout parents!!!) Well the little minx strikes again.

  I have just got off the phone from my mother. I knew it was a bad idea to talk to her after an assembly..I have been bible bashed to death, and my head is just realing with it all...really dont know how much of this I can take. I am a bad daughter because in such a short space of time, my daughter is celebrating birthdays and EVEN made a fathers day card for fathers day today!!!

  Anyway, the real clincher in the conversation was that apparently last week my daughter stayed with her grandparents and went to the meeting...well instead of singing the kingdom songs she was singing...Happy Birthday!!!

  I know I probably sound quite jovial about all this, but I am having serious concerns about how much of this I can take. One day the folks are fine with me, and seem to be accepting things and then I get a message like this left on my computer:-

  "We had a wonderful time at the assembly yesterday, missed you though. There were 6,624 there, so many people can't be wrong. I am sure Jehovah's spirit was there. You know what, I know that you know its the truth when you have sorted your life out I know you will return to the truth. Jehovah is waiting to forgive you and keep you safe."

  Why wont they listen to me when I say I want to live my live my way. I dont want to be a witness, I dont want to ram it down my childrens throat. What is wrong with celebrating things and living a normal life. My head is spinning.

  I just cant see a way out here...they are never going to leave me alone!
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  14

  My Son Is SIXTEEN Today

  by Corvin in

  1. social
  2. family

  today, my son, beau, is sixteen.

  i just don't know where the time goes.

  this kid is 6'-3" and sports size 13 shoes.

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  chok

  Happy Birthday Beau!!!!

  Love Chok