Posts by Fleur

7

Hope...

by joannadandy in

so while sitting at work, being off task, for hoots and hollars i type my best friend's name in a people search.

i don't really know what compells me, perhaps a hallmark special the night before, or the the fact that tis the season to wonder about old friends...and to wish you could share some time together again.. i have writen about her here in the past.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/36575/1.ashx.

Fleur

that is so wonderful, I'm so happy for you!

I had a similiar experience with a dear friend a couple years ago and I am so happy that she is back in my life. She had left such a huge void when she was missing. I have one other especially close JW friend I keep holding out some hope for in my heart (besides my family of course), and your post gives me hope that someday, maybe she and I will be friends again. We had planned for our daughters to grow up together...

I hope that you two can regain what you lost along the way. Good for you for reaching out to her!

hugs!

essie

p.s. OMG, I just read the original post. heartbreaking. I lost two babies to miscarriage myself it's a pain that you can't fathom if you haven't ever been through it. your friend is so lucky to have you...to have always had you. you're a very good friend!

38

How rebellious did you get after leaving?

by JH in

jw
friends

after leaving a controlling sect, it?s normal to want to live ?freedom?.

what did you do to show that you were no longer under the influence of the watchtower?

did you grow a beard, start having sex with whoever, start drinking, start gambling?

Fleur

lol @shamus. Yeah, my family cannot figure out for the life of me why I haven't become a crack w**re yet.

Hate to disappoint you all..but I'm afraid that I'm frightfully boring. Other than sleeping with my (then) boyfriend before we tied the knot about a year after my df-ing, my post-JW life has been dull as dirt. But I like it that way :)

Just your basic law abiding citizen. Hubby and I don't even drink, and he was never a JW. My family has booze running through its' veins and alcoholics a mile wide through it so I don't even want to go there.

Now, my mother says to me "there's nothing you're doing that prevents you from coming back." that bugs them even more than if I were out there drugging and debauching.

Worst things I do (on the JW scale...) Celebrate holidays, curse to be funny (not in front of my child of course) and of course, there's that pesky apostacy thing. But what can you do...

hugs

essie

29

Englishman says 'hi'

by Her Ladyship in

jw
friends

mike's missing you and has asked me to let you know he has had his operation and is doing fine.

i won't give you all the very earthy details he told me to post!!

anyway - he will be back posting next week and will fill you in with all the details.. regards to you all .

Fleur

Hello Your Ladyship! :)

Please tell Mike that I'm thinking of him and that thanks to him, I am right at this moment enjoying the new Katherine Jenkin's cd he told us about. It just came in today's post and O Holy Night is divine indeed!

Best wishes to him for a speedy recovery and thanks so much for posting that he's doing well.

hugs!

essie

9

Gay bethilites

by Carlito in

jw
friends

i am gay.

i hate it.

i hate having this desire for men.

Fleur

Wow, what a coincidence.

I was just going through some old email files and came across a quote I'd saved because I liked the person who said it and it reminded me of how I felt after leaving the JW's. Now I read your post and I think that I was meant to find it to post it here for you. It is:

"People and creatures just have to be who they are. Otherwise, they can't survive." Mr. Rogers

Please don't beat yourself up for being gay. It's like beating yourself up for having blue eyes, or brown eyes, or being left handed.

It is who you are. I hope that you can find some help, therapy, and a life that will make you much happier than you sound right now.

big hugs...

essie

160

Say Something Jehovah's Witnessy........

by minimus in

jw
friends

i know there's no such word as "witnessy" but this can be a fun thread.

Fleur

"?What can we glean from this study article?? ROFL ROFL ROFL! GLEAN! What a totally only JW word!!! ROFLMAO!

Man, this thread is really making me roar and making me sad at the same time. I have limited brain capacity these days, I really want the neurons back that have retained all this crap so I can use them for better things LOL.

Oh, wait I didn't see this one yet...

"Pure Language"!

ROFL

Keep em coming!!!

42

Depressed and about to lose it

by AloneinOh in

jw
friends

once i left i became about as "worldly" as a person could get.

world that once i left i went totally out of control.

when i left, .

Fleur

First of all, please know that though you feel alone right now, you are NOT. So many people can relate to your story of everyone in the family being "in the truth" myself included. I was born a fourth generation JW. Fourth generation. What chance did we have to know anything else? Literally only two of my relatives (who moved away) were not JW's. Everyone, everything, I knew about my life came from the WTS and was given to me in the womb, before my ears and brain were even done forming. The same for you. They had you as a zygote.

You said...

Everyone except for one aunt are JWs. Cousins,
grandparents, nieces, etc.... My uncle has been at Bethel now for about 40 yrs. Ever since he was 20. (never
married and never had a date in his life) When I was a kid, I remember my dad going to what was then known
as Kingdom Ministry School. I think this was in 72 or 73. My mom was a pioneer. Eventually my dad became
an elder and was one until I was dis-associated in the early 80s. They blamed him for my leaving and removed
him as an elder. He eventually became an elder again and still is. Every Tues,Thurs, and Sunday, there we
were....never missed a meeting. Every Sunday out in service after the meeting and 98% of the saturdays I was
going door to door. When mom pioneered, there I was....right beside her.
It was all around me...."The Truth, The Truth, The Truth,"....everywhere I turned. That's all I knew.
Now I am totally devistated. I have cried more in the past month than the rest of my life combined. I really thought
it was the truth..I really did. Why...why why why was I so stupid and blind. How could I have let myself be
brainwashed like that.

I'm going to repeat this again because it's so important. You never had a chance to believe anything else. Children believe no one so much as their parents. They could tell us the sky was green when we were babies and we'd argue and defend that opinion later in life out of loyalty to them. Then, we realize it really is blue and our entire frame of reference for living is shot to hell. It takes time, but you will get your bearings especially when you realize how many like you there are out there.

And we are out here...don't let any JW tell you otherwise.

I have to echo what others have said (didn't read all the replies so sorry if I'm repeating a lot of stuff) in that you should be very careful with your parents. I know that you feel like they're in a house on fire and they can't smell the smoke. But they have lived their whole life with this...they may not physically and emotionally be able to handle this. I know its hard..but proceed with caution my friend. You will be glad that you did.

keep talking...we're listening and we have been where you are, we're just a bit further up the road.What never ceases to amaze me is how this can come on a person after being 'out' physically for so long. We spend a lot longer still enslaved than we realized. When I was df'd years ago I thought I'd just die at armageddon. Then the lights started going on (not to be confused with the 'light getting brighter' lol) and now, it's a whole new life...

hugs

essie

40

What Was Your General Impression of Elders?

by minimus in

jw
friends

did you like them?

hate them?

fear them?

Fleur

When I was young I was terrified of them, Of course they were men. I was terrified of all men thanks to my dad then. All men except my grandfather, who ironically was an elder but never inspired fear of any kind, oh, well except that of disappointing him. I would rather have died than see disappointment in that mans eyes.

The general elder population? I just realized that they were clueless as to what it was like to be a woman in the organization. Just totally clueless.

Some were superior in attitude. Super-fine some used to say. But mostly, I realized when I left that there were two sorts: the sort that are pompous and company men; and those who are tortured, lose sleep over what they see, and a lot of them I know now, eventually end up here.

Some are just good guys trying desperately to justify what they see. They have a long way to fall and a rough landing when they get there :(

essie

160

Say Something Jehovah's Witnessy........

by minimus in

jw
friends

i know there's no such word as "witnessy" but this can be a fun thread.

Fleur

Sheep-like ones.

Honest-hearted ones.

Theocratic Order.

man, i'm getting queasy here.

Spiritual arrangement

Shepherding call

Upbuilding association

Nancy, that article almost killed me laughing LOL. I saw it the other day on the official site and my husband was just in tears laughing.

I'm so happy to now be among the really honest hearted ones here at JWD who no longer submit to Theocratic Order! (Guess that was me having to say something aposta-cy) LOL

Oh, here's one more... "Oh may we ever live up to our name"

mungo your posts are hilarious (hope I spelled that right)

36

What would be the hardest thing to give up if returning the the 'truth'?

by confuzzed in

for me it would be smoking, drinking, certain movies/tv shows and my favourite music (which includes eminem :p)

Fleur

Blondie nailed it on the head for me.

The hardest thing to give up? Myself. My life. Because it would surely kill me to go back. But even harder than giving up my life, would be giving up my child's future. She has so many choices that I never did. I couldn't take that away from her now, not for anyone, not even my family.

essie

160

Say Something Jehovah's Witnessy........

by minimus in

jw
friends

i know there's no such word as "witnessy" but this can be a fun thread.

Fleur

oh god, i'm crying over here...

"Most kind and loving heavenly father Jehovah. " and they say not to repeat prayers! Reading that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up!

Loved the "Please be seated" too. and that rousing rap up of a DC talk LOL

Here are a couple more for your cringing/enjoyment...

"There is nothing on earth like the Worldwide Brotherhood"

"There is so much love among The Friends"

"Don't use the assembly for smiling, styling, and profiling!"

"Goodmorning, I'm just stopping by briefly..."

"No, I'm not going to college/dating/breathing because I'm going to Bethel."

thanks for the memories...I think!

(p.s. someone, a newbie said a ways back 'is this an apostate site?" honey, there are all kinds here. Judge for yourself, and welcome!

~Essie

(who I guess failed to have Faith Like That Of Abraham...)