Fleur

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Posts by Fleur

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  66

  Why I am leaving JWD

  by logansrun in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm leaving this forum...at least temporarily.

  as i mentioned in conversation over dinner at the chicago apostafest, my upcoming school schedule (which begins next week) combined with my workload will make it very difficult to be an active member on this forum.

  perhaps i'll check in occassionaly when life is a little slower but for now i'd better distance myself from the on-line scene or else the other elements in my life will suffer.

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  Fleur

  You'll be back.

  Good luck in your studies, see ya around.
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  43

  Try Apostate proverbs

  by frenchbabyface in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  sorry i didn't find any by now .

  but i though that with the bunch of jokers you are it might be fun to try !!!

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  Fleur

  Better a live apostate than a dead JW.
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  13

  I hate my job....

  by Tatiana in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  not the work, it's quiet, and i get to wear headphones and listen to music all day long.

  it's all the info...too much.

  each and every day, i type medical claims for thousands of people.

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  Fleur

  ((((((((((((((Tatiana)))))))))))))))))

  It's not easy...maybe if you can think of the people that you're able to help by approving the claims then you'll have a new perspective on it?

  When my family members were in ICU for extended periods of time (can't give more specific info here) I have seen so much. Broken necks, brain tumors, babies burned beyond recognition in fires and undergoing treatment...you do wonder where god is in all this.

  I wish i had the answers for you. Cancer is a b****. Lost several family members to it and seen more than I ever wanted to doing charity work for peds oncology. I couldn't do it everyday; the people who do are heroes to me. I'm glad that someone is able to do it.

  It speaks so much about your character that you are bothered by this...not that we didn't know you are a sweetheart already...it's just that I doubt many people doing the job care so much. You're a wonderful person.

  hugs

  essie
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  21

  A Message To Mario

  by Shakita in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear mario,.

  i'm glad that you are still here.

  i know that you have suffered unbearable grief and despair.

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  Fleur

  Dear Mario,

  Thinking of you, and Talia every single day. I am so glad you're still here. I can't imagine how hard you have to fight, but please keep doing it. People care, about you, and her memory will never be forgotten by any of us.

  Love

  Essie
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  43

  physical discipline

  by Low-Key Lysmith in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  anybody's jw parents ever use that "don't spare the rod" song and dance as an excuse to beat the living shit out of you?

  my parents used to relish in the whole physical punishment thing.

  i guess the question i'm trying to get at is, do you think wts promotes and encourages physical violence in the home?

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  Fleur

  All I have to do is go to Wal-Mart and watch all the frickken BRATS, throwing tantrums and screaming bloody murder while mommy is in her "zone" completely ignoring it (or heavily medicated,not sure which) and I see the results of parents abdicating being "parents" to pop-psychology. I don't "abuse" my kids, as true "abuse" is bad and harmful. But I've seen many a parent "ABUSE" their child by doing nothing!

  I agree that children need to be taught how to behave and have consequences for their actions, but there are other ways besides hitting. I'm not saying that you abuse your children; I want to be clear there. I am just saying that personally, I just don't think that hitting someone a third or half your size and without a clue as to what is really going on is a good way to go.

  Now I'll step out of this thread cause I think it's going to turn into a debate and frankly I haven't the heart for it. This is a very touchy topic with me as you can imagine.

  I didn't start this thread but I think that it would be nice for those of us who suffered from getting hit if those who want to defend the fact they do use physical punishment (in any amount)on their kids could do it in another thread.

  essie
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  43

  physical discipline

  by Low-Key Lysmith in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  anybody's jw parents ever use that "don't spare the rod" song and dance as an excuse to beat the living shit out of you?

  my parents used to relish in the whole physical punishment thing.

  i guess the question i'm trying to get at is, do you think wts promotes and encourages physical violence in the home?

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  Fleur

  any man that can hit his own little girl is well i won't say it.

  I grew up in mortal fear of the man. Even after he stopped hitting me, all he had to do was say my name with that tone or look at me sideways and I'd run away sobbing and hide. It wasn't until my twenties that I confronted him about it; of course he denied ever having hit me. But I asked my older siblings, and they remembered it clearly. They also thought that it was strange that I was the only one he hit.

  I have made peace with my father now, and in fact, ironically, even though I thought we would never have any kind of relationship at all, we have a close one now. He is different in his old age than he was in his thirties and fourties. The anger isn't there anymore. He had a hellish childhood (not an excuse, just a fact) and I know he was beaten from infancy until the day he left home to get married (and other things I can't go into for privacy's sake) it's amazing he was any kind of parent at all.

  I learned from my own parents how not to parent: and from my grandparents how TO parent. They used to come and take me away for days at a time, I think they knew I was the smallest person on the totem pole and often caught all my parent's anger and frustration.

  Wooden hairbrushes, there were a couple of those too. I cannot imagine ever hitting my child with anything; let alone an object. What the hell were they thinking.

  hugs to everyone who still has the scars, even though you may not see them now. Our children will never have to suffer what we did, because we're breaking the cycle. That makes every parent who was abused and doesn't abuse in turn a hero to me. thanks to everyone for their kind words too.

  love

  essie
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  32

  if gf throws an ultimatum, what should one do? scary question........

  by Buck in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if your very serious about a girl and youve been going out for over a year, but she is waiting on you to get baptized before marriage.

  its too hard to leave.

  but there are questions i have that i dont even think there are answers too.

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  Fleur

  I'm sorry that you are going to be hurt by this relationship, no matter what you do. Better, really, to get out now.

  Think about this: if you do convert (even just for show) think of what will be expected of you. She will get angry and resentful if you don't 'take the lead' spiritually. The WTS will control your whole life, are you willing to give up everything unique and enjoyable in your personality and life for that? Love isn't enough in this case, and believe me, I'm as hopeless a romantic as they come.

  Imagine you do get married. The WTS controls your sex life, as was already brought out, and everything else. Then, imagine you have kids. Do you want to have to raise them with the same narrow version of reality that your gf has?

  It just won't work. Better to save yourself the worse heartache that will come later. I promise you.

  Run far and fast. I'm so sorry for your pain.

  hugs

  essie
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  43

  physical discipline

  by Low-Key Lysmith in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  anybody's jw parents ever use that "don't spare the rod" song and dance as an excuse to beat the living shit out of you?

  my parents used to relish in the whole physical punishment thing.

  i guess the question i'm trying to get at is, do you think wts promotes and encourages physical violence in the home?

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  Fleur

  Alot of the sisters would keep wooden spoons in their purses.

  My mother chose to use hers at home, not at the hall. She also liked big plastic hairbrushes from Avon.Ask me why I don't have wooden spoons in my house to this day...they make me physically ill.

  My dad favored the backhand upside the head;leaving me seeing stars. Finally my mother told him to quit or there would be trouble.

  No one in the congregation said a word when I once raised my hand as a small child at the bookstudy when the conductor asked if anyone had any closing comments. He called on me (who calls on a 3 year old?) and I said "I want to say that parents really hurt their kids feelings when they hit them and I don't think they should do it."

  The conductor coughed a couple times then said "Thank you, all parents should keep that in mind." and my parents never spoke of it except years later, when for some reason they thought it was funny. I remember they stopped hitting me about the time my younger brother was born, most of it was when I was very little. Funny, out of several kids I was the only one they would hit.

  I have never, ever hit my child, nor do I want to. It doesn't do any good and it changes who they are and how they feel about you, forever.

  still I hear stories of kids being hospitalized or beaten to death and I know I got off lucky. I remember one kid who would get dragged to the back of the hall by his ear. He never forgot that.

  He committed suicide a couple years ago after being df'd. I still think of him all the time...

  essie

  (I still look at baby pictures and wonders what I could have done back then to make them so angry...then realize it wasn't me who was the problem :(
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  71

  Ooops..Oh Harry..Not A Good Move.

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  prince harry, number 2 in-line to the the throne, has dropped a bit of a bollock: .

  probably not the best way for a prince to go to a fancy dress party... good grief!

  is he smoking a ciggie too?

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  Fleur

  Yikes, he blew it on that one big time.

  I can't imagine that his mother would have been pleased!
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  14

  Blood Fractions and Your Conscience

  by FairMind in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  for arguments sake lets assume that the wts teachings that the bibles prohibition against blood is valid with regard to accepting a transfusion.

  jws are now being told that while they cannot accept whole blood or whole blood components such as red blood cells, white blood cells and blood plasma, they can if their conscience permits accept blood fractions.

  i have thought quite a bit about how and why the accepting of some blood fractions and not others is supposedly a conscience matter.

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  Fleur

  I think, Gill, what the real problem is that the WTS does not provide specific explanations or sources of information as to what these products are and how they are made. Have you seen Hemopure and any other product name used in the WT publications. Even the HLCs do not provide information to the rank and file but refer you to your doctor for the specifics on these products and their safety.

  I mentioned to several active JWs that hemoglobin-based products were made out of out-dated, stored blood showing them the URLs of the companies who made them. They were appalled as they did not feel using stored blood this way was right and couldn't understand how the WTS could allow them. The WTS purposesly clouds the details.

  YES; they definitely do Blondie. My mother was horrified when she did some looking into these fraction products and found out that some were made of outdated blood. She says that she believes that there are apostates who have snuck into the organization and are trying to deliberately mislead god's people. My father, taking a more stoic approach, says "It's all about legalities." He doesn't buy into everything that the organization does, never did. I think the only reason he never outright left and has just faded is because of my mother. He still believes though that any blood products break the law of god.

  They know that they can't come out and tell people forthrightly where the fractions come from. They're counting on the blind obediance of the rank and file. If they said "you can't take the blood but you can take things made from the blood once it's too old to transfuse" can you imagine what would happen? The only sound left besides the speaker's voice in the Hall would be crickets chirping outside.

  essie