Posts by Fleur

6

What have you Learned?

by KW13 in

jw
friends

how easy would it be for us all to remain angry all our lives?.

the us that could of been was destroyed before it had a chance to grow, mature and instead was destroyed by the watchtower society.

instead of having a whole life to look back on, many years have been tainted and the so called knowledge we were proud to be the owners of does nothing to help us in the real world.

Fleur

Its amazing we're even having this discussion because technically were supposed to be weeping and gnashing...

I'm supposed to be weeping and gnashing? Gee, I plum forgot!

Sorry, but my inner smart @ss has kept me alive this long, it's hard to shelve it lol.

Gosh, KW I remember when you were just new here last time I was around wasn't it- then life sort of happened to me and I was away a long time and here you are- an Emperor! :) And sounding so wise.

Keep that good head on your shoulders above the watermark, my friend. . .just keep on. Sometimes I have told myself that I had to keep going just to prove all my JW relatives wrong- - -hey, whatever works right? :) So far I haven't run out of reasons to keep going- no matter what those reasons have to be in the moment- if they work, they work.

You're right though, living wiser, and better- is the best thing we can get from our JW experiences as crushing as they have been/can be.

hugs again

essie

6

What have you Learned?

by KW13 in

jw
friends

how easy would it be for us all to remain angry all our lives?.

the us that could of been was destroyed before it had a chance to grow, mature and instead was destroyed by the watchtower society.

instead of having a whole life to look back on, many years have been tainted and the so called knowledge we were proud to be the owners of does nothing to help us in the real world.

Fleur

KW13- just wanted to offer this (((((((hug))))))

I've learned. . .that I'm a hell of a lot stronger than they said I was- they said I'd break. I've come close- but I haven't yet.

I've learned that those of us who were predicted as doomed to fail by the WTS when we left- are a lot more tenatious of life than that. We hang on.

Just hang on- and find what makes you, you. Then live it. That's what I've learned.

luv,

essie

28

one word to describe me

by Hortensia in

jw
friends

i thought crumpet's thread was really interesting and that everyone was really supportive in their answers.

then i thought about what words would describe me - i imagine lots of folks thought that.

i used to have in my profile "short fat ugly old and mean" which was a joke but offended someone...currently i would described myself as tired and a little crabby and inclined to be unsympathetic, which was always my husband's complaint about me anyway.

Fleur

Emo- I doubt very much that 'plain' describes you- or 'everyday'. Just from what I've seen of your posts since I've been back to the forum, I'd say "caring"!

Me??? Perhaps "Yikes" would be the most appropriate word. . .

essie

17

It's already starting...sigh

by Dagney in

jw
friends

the reports:.

"kingdom hall survived!

"as far as we know no brothers and sisters lost their homes in the mountain areas.

Fleur

oh geez. My mother will be all over that next time I speak to her.

I better take a dramamine in advance.

They are just so freaking self righteous, it's disgusting.

essie

53

My sisters wedding...

by zamora251978 in

below is a copy of the e-mail my sister sent me.

i had to make arrangements for my kids to be babysat somewhere else until after the wedding.

there little hearts are broken.

Fleur

She also told me that she wants to see our sister in the "new system of things" when she is resurrected. She asked me if I didn't want to see her?

AHHHHHHH!!!!! Can I just scream and bang my head against the wall now?

How many of us did the JW get/keep with the resurrection garbage???

I got baptized within 3 months of a CO talk saying that if you wanted to see your loved ones in the new system you had to be baptized. I would have marched into hell itself as a child to see my grandfather again. I got baptized instead-same difference in the end.

The only reason my child has ever at any points shown any interest in what her father was trying to teach her was the idea of seeing her own grandfather again.

They're holding your sister (the bride) hostage over the thought she will get to see your sister who passed away again (I'm sorry for your loss. . .even if it was years ago has to be so tough to lose a sibling). I remember that feeling it's not a good one.

If they didn't have the resurrection and they didn't have shunning- all KH's would be a ghost town with nothing but tumbleweed in attendance on Sunday.

This is the stuff that gets to me.

My new advice on this, and this is JMHO- but if it were me, I'd just skip the whole wedding entirely. You do not need to go to be looked down on or to feel bad about yourself.

I do not regret choosing not to go to my beloved grandmother's memorial service because the JW family had made such a point of telling me if I did I'd be shunned very obviously and very publicly. They knew that woman was my heart. They didn't care.

If your sister really wanted you at the wedding- they'd elope, and have you as their witness. She's making her choice to have the bigger wedding with everyone there but you. That is her choice. Call her on it.

Tell her she can't have it both ways. Either you're invited to it all- or you just don't go.

Stand up for yourself- believe me it'll feel a lot better afterward knowing that you didn't just take whatever they were willing to offer you- and that you're taking care of yourself above all.

hugs,

essie

23

What can we learn from the recent upheavals on the board

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

i had this this in my head and even had it typed out but didn't post it but i see some still need to talk about the trevor saga on the board.. i was reading some of the initial threads where many people posted how they felt about what trevor had done.

people used the words; anger, shock, disbelief, hurt, sickened, duped, suckered, creeped out, confused, stupid, and betrayed.. given the situation those are all perfectly normal responses.

it isn't easy when we find out we have been lied to.

Fleur

((((((((Lady Lee)))))))))) huge hugs for you and thank you again for putting the best of section together. I was perusing it just now and had forgotten what a goldmine it is. I highly recommend it to anyone here who is just out or new to the boards, or even folks like me who have been gone awhile and missed some things.

love to you Lee,

essie

34

Someone else new & could do with as much help as they can get.

by Mr. Majestic in

jw
friends

i would like to say hello and introduce myself.

i have read this forum for a while, didnt know that it existed till some one showed me it, (fellow rebel) about a year ago.

now the only way that i will get help is to go into it, something i really dont wish to do but know that i have to.

Fleur

Auld, your rewrite is excellent- I had the same text highlighted to comment on but now I don't have to!

Welcome Mr. M, and please know that as the others have said there is nothing wrong with lengthy posting- sometimes it's the only way to get it out and you can't keep this stuff bottled up. It'll eat you alive if you do.

Reason for living??? How's this for a start.

Think of "I lost everything" as "I have a blank slate upon which to rewrite my life- and it can be anything I want."

No stupid, ridiculous JW 'theocratic' rules to hold you back from say, going back to school and being what you wanted to be for a profession but could not because it wasn't 'theocratic'. That's just one example.

Many of us here had to walk away from everything and everyone we ever knew to get free. I was born in- so literally all my relatives and friends were in.

I made it out with the help of a few friends online for support- that was all I had. They weren't even exJW's, I didn't have the guts to search for JW related websites till I'd been out almost two years already.

There is a lot of support to be had. Don't expect to feel better overnight- but it can happen over time, I am living proof and that is nothing short of a minor miracle. Though I didn't do it with 'god's' help so to speak, but with the help of fellow "imperfect' humans.

Tie a knot and hang on to it, and keep talking. You're not alone.

essie

42

Do you ever get nausea when encountering JW stuff

by Sirona in

jw
friends

i thought after 7 years out i had done a pretty good job of getting my mind free of the jws.. then yesterday i went on youtube and typed in jehovah's witness.

after watching a few apostate videos, i came across a pro-jw video of a convention.

as i started the video and they started singing "we thank you jehovah" i got a mega wave of nausea and felt like i had to switch the thing off.. has this happened to you?

Fleur

"Dark days are here,
Man needs a beer

ROFL!

The one that always got me for the lyrics was "Nazarites, how can we be like them? Self denial was their role!" (or was it goal? my memory is trying to protect me from recalling)

Sounds like a fun life. . .NOT! LOL

That one and my sister and I used to scoff at "Myriads and Myriads of Brothers" because, in our circuit, at least, there were NOT. There were way more teenaged girls than boys and we got pretty sick of it. We wanted to know where they were hiding those myriads.

21

Are You Angry That You Didn't Get To Celebrate The Holidays?

by minimus in

jw
friends

but now, holidays are important to me.

i think birthdays and xmas are important ones to make sure that you give and get gifts.

perhaps it's because i never experienced the "joy of the holidays".

Fleur

No. Not at all.

You don't miss what you never had, they say. Maybe that's why. I didn't ever get used to celebrating it as a child. Of course now it means a lot to me just because of family- not for religious reasons at all.

My parents never even told me the Santa claus myth- I heard it at preschool and thought it was the most preposterous thing I'd ever heard in my short little life LOL. I came home and said to my mom, "would you believe they think there's this fat guy in a red suit that delivers presents to all the kids in the world on one night? Come ON."

I could believe in Prince Charming coming to save me one day and all the pixie dust type 'magical' things, but Santa, I never bought.

I never taught it to my own child either as fact even though we started celebrating when she was young enough to believe it. I taught her from the get-go that the presents come from the hard work of the people who love you. Then I made sure she knew not to spoil it for her friends who do believe.

42

Do you ever get nausea when encountering JW stuff

by Sirona in

jw
friends

i thought after 7 years out i had done a pretty good job of getting my mind free of the jws.. then yesterday i went on youtube and typed in jehovah's witness.

after watching a few apostate videos, i came across a pro-jw video of a convention.

as i started the video and they started singing "we thank you jehovah" i got a mega wave of nausea and felt like i had to switch the thing off.. has this happened to you?

Fleur

(((((((((((((Sirona)))))))))))))))))))

Yes. I do. I came across a newer, soft cover book while cleaning out some bookshelves- I didn't know we even had it in the house. My mother had, apparently, given it to my daughter without my knowing because it had her name written on it, and little glittery heart shaped stickers on the cover beside her name.

I almost lost my lunch on the spot. I tore the thing in half- with my bare hands- which is really saying something considering my physical condition. Then I threw it out.

I think I've managed to get all of it out- the only thing left I just remembered I keep forgetting to throw away. there's Kingdumb Melodies tape in my 'junk ' drawer in the kitchen. I don't even know how it got there.

It's going out today. Thanks for reminding me.

I don' tknow how we get our subconscious free. . .I just have to hope we all get there someday.

luv,

essie