Posts by Fleur

oh yes, gypsywildone, that is a very good point!!! I have in the past because of my high tolerance for abuse (jw grooming and all) been subject to the whims of those emotional vampires. Now I expect that my friends are going to treat me with respect, and for those who are real friends I will do anything in my power to help them. There are some people out there who say they want to be your friend and are only looking for the next scapegoat to replace the one that just finally escaped their clutches LOL.

I am very selective about who I call my close friends. There aren't a whole lot of people who've earned that status in my life. Once bitten, twice shy. Many people are more...friendly aquaintainces. But once someone is a close friend, I am loyal, and have a long memory for kindnesses that they show. And I do all I can to help folks out, whoever they are, whenever I can.

Wonder where Iyanla went? I liked her. She made a lot of sense.

hugs

essie

p.s. one of my favorite Dr. Phil quotes is "Real friends are walking in when everyone else is walking out." I guess that is the real test of friendship; who is there for you when things aren't fun or pretty. Those who stand by you are the ones worth keeping. And if you stand by someone in a situation like that, then you make yourself into a friend worth keeping, too.

21

Comments You Will Not Hear at the 12-12-04 WT Study

by blondie in

those who have been persecuted for righteousness?

?1 peter 3:14.. reproached for the sake of christ (or jehovah?).

?1 peter 4:14.. 7 jesus stated that his followers should consider themselves happy even when people "lyingly say every sort of wicked thing" against them for his sake.

Fleur

Wow, Blondie. Amazing.

If I haven't said it before, thank you for all that you do with these articles. You're doing a great service to those who need the concrete proof of watchtower double-speak and it's hidden agendas. I only wish I had the brain power to do stuff like this, but no way. My neurons just don't fire like they used to.

thanks for doing it for those of us who can't.

huge hugs

essie

22

Do You Now Feel Liberated Since Leaving The "Truth"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i do.

once you realize how much bondage you were under....it's easy to feel good not having the weights of man made rules.

it's very liberating for me to tell people that i no longer associate with the jw religion----very liberating!!

Fleur

Welcome Davin!

Leaving the Truth is liberating but it's only the first step, learning how to find yourself once you've made the choice to walk alone is the second - and the tougher one too.

Very true. Leaving the cult physically is one thing, leaving emotionally, now that's the real trick, isn't it?Glad you found your way here, we're all just figuring it out together.

Hope you find what you're seeking here.

~esmeralda

32

New here, would like to say hello.

by puff candy in

jw
friends

i just registered right now.

i would like to introduce myself.

i am a 30 year old female and not a jw but my mother is so thats how i came by this site.

Fleur

i dont want to be in the paradise without you".......

ugh if I had a dime for every time my mother said that to me...I have taken to telling her now "mom if it comes and god wants me to be there, I'll be there. I'm not afraid of god's judgement."

Of course, I'm agnostic and I don't believe armageddon is ever coming now but I can't get that black and white with her because she just ignores it. Have tried in the past and it doesn't work.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through all of this, just know that there are more of us who understand what you're going through here than don't. Many of us have mothers that were just lost to us because of their blind devotion to the WTS.

Welcome and I hope you find comfort here.

hugs

essie

120

We walked out of my mom's memorial service

by tyydyy in

jw
friends

.

my brother, my sister, myself, xena and those with us walked out when we were called aside and asked not to attend the reception after the memorial.. more details to follow....... timb

Fleur

I am so sorry. I totally understand. My grandfather passed away a year and half ago and my JW mother begged me to take her back to Canada for the funeral, after I paid all our travel expenses and got there I found out that I was only invited to the KH for the "talk" and then to the grave for the burial. My sister and I are both DF'd and we were literally told to leave our grandmothers house and when we refused (it was an outside BBQ) they all went inside. I am talking about 100 people, went inside the house and left us sitting outside on porch. They locked the house, they closed the blinds, and at that point I KNEW I was done.

HOLY COW, tickled pink! That is pathetic! I'm sure that they all sat around too congratulating themselves over their righteousness. That is absolutely...I'd say unbelievable but I believe that these people are capable of anything because they are blinded by self-righteousness and arrogance.

Tim, it amazes me, how we df'd (or in your case not even df'd or da'd!) family members are all well and good to call on when there's a job that the witness siblings don't want to do, eh? I went through the same thing with my family, consoling my parents, cleaning with mom (who is completely emotionally disabled, she never leaves her house.) I was a great person to call to do 'go between' for my elder uncle and my mother when things needed to be worked out and she wasn't speaking to him. But when time came for the family gathering.. (public place, and there would have been non-jw family present) I was informed on no less than six different occaisions that I would be 'handled as a df'd person' meaning, ignored. They implied that they didn't want me to come because it would make so many 'uncomfortable'. I didn't go because I didn't want to give them another opportunity to abuse me and my husband who has never been a JW.

I have a child about the same age as yours. She chose not to go to the memorial service for her great-grandmother because, in her own words, "she couldn't bear to see her aunt" who has been shunning her along with me for the past two years. This is a woman who was constantly in the child's life, and then one day she just decided that she wouldn't deal with me. I wouldn't let her just stop by and pick my kid up to take her off and brainwash her (child came home saying "Mommy, I don't want you to die.") and so for two years, no contact. My daughter has grieved that loss like a death. You can tell your daughter when you talk to her that there is another little girl out there who is going through just the same thing, and I will tell my daughter and then they can think of each other and feel stronger knowing they're not alone. I don't even want to think of the damage this is doing to her psyche but the only good thing is she says to me "Mom, I could never treat you that way no matter what." She doesn't want to be a witness because she sees how the cult has torn our family apart.

Then out of the blue last week my sister send my child a gift through my parents. I was angry that they didn't ask me if she could have it first. Because she was excited for a moment...then depressed all the rest of the week. These people play games with the emotions of even children, it's not right. I don't know how they justify what they do.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) to everyone who has experienced this cruelty. It is just revolting and I don't know how anyone could claim to follow Christ and do what they do.

essie

120

We walked out of my mom's memorial service

by tyydyy in

jw
friends

.

my brother, my sister, myself, xena and those with us walked out when we were called aside and asked not to attend the reception after the memorial.. more details to follow....... timb

Fleur

(((((((((((((((xena))))))))))))))))))

I really didn't expect what happened at the Hall...it's mind boggling when you think you are past this stuff and it just slaps you in the face again. The callous disregard for people's feelings. To tell someone AT the memorial service for their mother that they are not welcome to attend the reception afterward because it might make some random person who barely knew her uncomfortable. WTF??? You just wonder how can they not see how wrong that is???
So we left. Honestly, it felt good not to be complacient to their rules, to not let them think that this type of behavior is OK. To send a message that says "HELL NO" you are not going to tell us we aren't good enough to associate with you.

yeah, all that matters to them is how it looks. There were plenty of people at my grandma's service whose lifestyles make mine look absolutely nun-like. But that didn't matter. The big scarlet D got in the way.

You all deserved a lot better...but they're not capable of it. Bravo to all of you for putting a stop to the abuse, because that is what it is, abuse. To treat someone like that at the funeral for their own mother. dispicable.

hugs

essie

11

Screwed up!!!

by pluginbaby in

jw
friends

today: (aloud rumbling nose) .

me: oh my god...is it armageddon(heat beats starts to sweat).

me: oh it's just a plane...phew.

Fleur

i'm happy with able to do things i want but i still feel guilty sometimes, i'm shocked how much they have influenced me and i'm just worried if they are right all along...i don't want to read any against jehovahs witnesses books (which i saw advertized) and i don't want to join another religious group...i just want to forget.

Most of us have been or are where you are now. It does get better the further you get down the road. All you can do is research the JW teachings and once you are able to realize that there is no truth in "The Truth" then you can really find that freedom that you seek.

It's a great big world out there. Build the life of your dreams.

hugs

essie

24

20/20 tonight 12/10 9 pm CST: Sexual Abuse in the Amish Community

by blondie in

.

it might be helpful to see how another religious community handles sexual abuse..

Fleur

*shudder*

By the way, the girl shown on Dateline finally was able to get dentures when she went into foster care.
They said pulling the teeth and getting dentures is common practice among the Amish. It saves on future dental bills. How odd.

oh that poor girl. I didn't see Dateline but I saw 20/20 and it just made me sick. My husband too. Just disgusting.

Oh and I don't care how many children that rapist has to support...he should not be allowed to go home from jail to work. Who knows how many other children he will rape in the future? Maybe his own! He wasn't beyond raping his sister what will make his daughters any different?

The mother made my blood boil. Shame on her. She told Mary that she didn't "fight hard enough or pray enough." Now where have we all heard THAT before???

120

We walked out of my mom's memorial service

by tyydyy in

jw
friends

.

my brother, my sister, myself, xena and those with us walked out when we were called aside and asked not to attend the reception after the memorial.. more details to follow....... timb

Fleur

I am so, so sorry they treated you that way. I agree, though, that what you did was far more meaningful than the JW Infomercial that surely was her memorial.

I have been through something similiar lately over the death of my grandmother, who emotionally, was my mother. Links below to my threads if you want to read and know that you're not alone.

I am so sorry about your mom, and also for the terrible way they treated you. Good for you for walking out, we have to draw the line sometimes, don't we? I know that not going to my grandmother's memorial was absolutely the right decision.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/81221/1.ashx

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/80502/1.ashx

hugs

essie