Posts by Fleur

15

Introduce Independent Thinking by Family Bible Study

by jgnat in

one tried and tested method for a fading husband to bring his witness family out with him, is the family bible study.

this method has the added benefit of being approved by the watchtower society.. .

here's one: http://www.freeminds.org/psych/exithelp.htm .

Fleur

Just a small piece of advice...be careful if you choose to try this though or it could actually backfire.

My siblings and I had lots of issues with the WTS but we believed firmly that it was the truth. I can see now that my Dad tried to do this with us at several points when we did have a family study (It wasn't a regular thing because my mother would stop it when he went 'off course' with the material. But his points were too on the mark and made us all squirm, and the looks from Mom at him would've vaporized him on the spot if it were possible to make someone vanish with a thought.

It mobilized the rest of the family against him and closer to the org. I finally got out later but they still have the rest of the family trapped. It delayed me for years, him bringing the ideas to me when I was already a confused teenager lacking guidance. I remember once actually going to my Dad with my bible and trying to explain why he had mistaken ideas. I couldn't explain away his solid reasoning though and it bothered me to the core. I was devestated thinking that he didn't trust Jehovah and that being the case, I couldn't trust him (I already had trust issues with him from childhood.) I went to the elders after that conversation, I was 17, and said that I was afraid my dad had apostate views, what could I do to help him? They told me they were aware of his attitude and because he didn't attend meetings that they wouldn't talk to him or do anything. They said that I should not discuss spiritual things with him anymore, and I went to meetings on my own after that for a very long time, determined that I had to stay closer to the org. because there was a bad influence in the house.

Funny I don't think about that often. I wasn't angry or snotty to him at all I was genuinely terrified for his salvation.

My dad is still technically in the org; he's inactive now but still believe's Jah's day is coming. Don't get him started on the GB though....his views and mine are the same on quite a few points. He has no issue, really, with me leaving the cult except fear that I might die when Armageddon comes. Though his theory is that god won't lose any of his 'real' sheep and that there will be a lot of surprises who is there and who isn't in the end.

So to sum up, I don't mean to throw cold water on your thread or your idea of using the family study...just that you have to be extremely careful. If children have been successfully indoctrinated up to that point...the reaction could totally backfire and delay for years their finding out the truth about the truth. That's what happened in my case, but your mileage may vary. People have got to be ready for it,

hugs

essie

12

Ex-JW convention visit ended violently

by observer in

jw
friends

ex-jws in finland have every year arranged demonstration during district convention in helsinki since 1999. sometimes one or more apostates have peacefully visited in the rented icehall which is the convention place across the street from demonstration place.

in summer 2004 jw's ordered doorkeepers who work there by the owner of the icehall, to bring out one very widely known apostate from the audience in the middle of program.

attendants said he took photos and videotaped, which he really did without any disturbance, which they claimed was forbidden and wanted to remove him from the hall.

Fleur

My god Gary, that was from 1940 and they were doing that stuff? And here I thought that in the 'time of the end' that things were growing worse every year and they had to be ever more vigilant *rolling eyes to the point of passing out*

essie

49

feel kinda sick and shaky

by Merry Magdalene in

jw
friends

just found out my mom's cancer is worse than she thought...widespread--colon, lungs, bone...so she said i can come down and see her if i want to (7 hours away), and my help would be appreciated if i could manage it.

of course i can manage it.

she's my mom.. but i'm dfed, and she's a jw, living with her jw neice's family.

Fleur

Merry...I'm so very sorry. This is why I get so angry about shunning. Every day people are wasting time that they can't get back because of a stupid cult.

I'm so, so sorry.

(((((((((((Merry)))))))))

22

Will my relationship survive if we are unevenly yoked.

by sjohnson333 in

i am studying the truth and i am very pleased with the jehovah's witness congregation.

i am interested in becoming a follower.

i have a true desire to serve jehovah.

Fleur

Please, please research the religion before you go any further. Sounds like you have a real shot at a happy life with the husband of your child (who is certainly not the result of a 'mistake'!) Don't let this narrowminded religious view mess up your future.

Do your homework, and read all the posts in this thread over and over. The picture that the JW's paint for you may look pretty now; but it's all window dressing; smoke and mirrors. There is no 'truth' behind it and there is no substance.

Live your life with the man you love and be happy. Faith should add to your life, not take away from it, if you're going to have faith.

Don't deprive your child of the chance at their two parents being happy together for the sake of the say-so of a group of men. Please.

Welcome to the forum.

hugs

essie

24

Do antidepressants really work? or placibo?

by boy@crossroads in

i've posted on freeminds for over a year now but i rarely post on the medical treatment forum.

i believe i've had depression or some other milder form of depression for many months but i haven't gotten antidepressants for a couple of reasons 1.pride- i feel that taken antidepressants is admittion that i'm weak, 2. fear- i don't have health insurance and i'm afraid of the financial reprocussions of prescriptions and mental healthcare visits.

3. i'm also afraid that by taking the medication it will have no affect (wasted money) or that i will be worse off after taking them than if i had done nothing.. give me some of your thoughts.

Fleur

Only a qualified doctor and you can make the decision if you need them or not. I will tell you as someone who barely made it out of her teens because of depression that has dogged me since I was 12 that they did save me at several very dark points in my life, between my early 20's when I finally got help and now.

You are right to be concerned about insurance: I would talk to a doctor about getting samples and not filling scripts for them or otherwise, trying to get them without informing your insurance company if you're worried you might become uncoverable (which is sadly happening more and more with the crooks at the insurance companies).

But insurance companies or no, the most important thing is to get help if you feel you can't hold on. These medications are not to be taken lightly or with the expectation that they can fix everything that may be wrong in your life. But they can definitely offer a life vest to keep you afloat while you sort the rest out through therapy if needed. I do not believe they have the placebo effect, because I have seen people who wanted a 'magic pill' to fix their unhappy lives when they really needed to just make changes and they were not helped by the medications. Others, including myself who were unable to shake the disease no matter how hard we (I) tried, have been helped by them.

Your mileage may vary, and each individual needs care and management with a doctor to decide how long to stay on them. I was told that I'd likely need them "the rest of my life"...but I'm taking a leap of faith. Now, after mostly 10 years on them with some brief interruptions,I am off of them after weaning off a couple months and I am kind of free falling at the moment. It's like I'm dealing with a backlash of emotions that were somewhat numbed out because I was on the meds so very long. But so far I'm okay. hell, at least I'm here to deal with the backlash, you know? And I know that if I cannot make it without them, the meds are there. It's not an easy choice, but sometimes, it's the only one. It is not about being weak. If you were diabetic, would you feel weak for taking insulin? Of course not. Its' the same thing, there's just this stigma there.

Again, these are not candy and you have to know the risks and weigh them against the benefits when deciding which pills to take. Some have a safer track record than others, do your homework and be an educated patient.

Depression is not something that you can just think your way out of or talk yourself out of. That is why you must get professional help, sooner the better, and work it out with a doctor that you can trust.

Huh. Maybe there was a reason I have insomnia tonight...hope this helps a little. Good luck...

essie

p.s. Prophecor, love the new avatar...and that was a great post, bless your heart. Thank you for speaking out, you and everybody who posted. This is I think one of the last great stigmas out there. How I wish several of my friends had not resisted the help that could've saved their lives...

31

My Dad's new Wife is a less than thrilling person..

by runningrussianboy in

jw
friends

ok guys, this is post 2.. .

background.. raised a jw.

homeschool by grade 6.

Fleur

Welcome RRB. Hope you stick around. Your story will help a lot of others realize how good they have had it on their way out.

glad you made it through.

hugs

essie

40

U P /\ T E

by RichieRich in

jw
friends

its been a while.. emotionally, i'm a desert.

all the stuff i used to care about no longer matters.. i'm out of the society.

my mom hates me.

Fleur

I do know how rough it can be. But there's always a "porch light" on for you here. Stay strong and know you carry our love with you.

Shelley that was really beautiful, and so true.

I lose so much sleep over kids here like Richie...sending positive thoughts out to him and all in his situation. I can't believe a parent could treat their child this way. :(

essie

55

New Here Sorta

by Jolinar in

jw
friends

i stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.

along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.

i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.

Fleur

re: "does anyone find it hard to talk with their mom if they are a JW and you are a former?"

ooh ooh, me (raising hand à la Horshack).

lol @ Calliope! loved the horshack reference.

Welcome, Jolinar. Yes, I think that you'll fit in very well here and find a lot of community and strength from people who you can really relate to.

Glad you got out and are safe. Welcome aboard :)

hugs

essie

16

Thank you forum

by Free in

jw
friends

it's only been a week since i found this fourm.

my story is a long one but some have been through the mill worst then me as i can see.

it was only about 1 month ago i read ray's first book and finished it in less than a week ( i'm on his second right now ) it took me over a year after i stopped attending meetings before i could look at anything objective about the wts which happend to be that book.

Fleur

Welcome, Free. So glad that you are out...posts like yours (people like you, I should say!) are why I still hang around here. I hope you find comfort here among those who understand.

hugs

essie

18

Easy, Healthful Snacks - Suggestions wanted.

by AudeSapere in

jw
friends

this is an extension of my other thread ( http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/114967/1.ashx) but seemed to warrant it's own heading since it will probably attract different people and can have so many other applications, too.. since i'm home alone nursing a broken ankle and injured knee, getting downstairs to make breakfast and other meals is pretty difficult right now.. .

does anyone have any suggestions for foods to keep upstairs that are reasonably healthy and do not require refrigeration?

i can bring up a coffee pot for coffee and tea.

Fleur

Scully beat me to it with the great suggestions! I also recommend dry cereal that you can munch on...animal crackers...if you like those little cheese-cracker or peanut butter crackers those are handy too. Granola bars have saved me from starvation on more than one occaision! graham crackers are good.

Fruit is great if you can get someone else to wash it first! Otherwise I find that unless you're talking bananas (peel and eat) that they're too much work when you're injured. Also forgot to mention in the other thread, be very careful about trying to do stuff when you take your pain pills (if they gave you any) cause you don't know how dizzy or disoriented they'll make you if you, say, try to wash your hair in the sink.

Man, I cannot believe how much of my life I have spent with an injured pedal appendage LOL I'm pathetic! LOL but at least maybe some of my experiences will help you out!

hugs

essie