and for goodness sakes, don't pay any attention to the victim-advice quoted below, not if you are serious about finding someone cool and compatible to hang with ...
I concur....
boy@crossroads
JoinedPosts by boy@crossroads
-
19
I don't know how to ask this ?
by boy@crossroads inok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now.
during that time i have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities.
now that i am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone.
-
-
boy@crossroads
-
19
I don't know how to ask this ?
by boy@crossroads inok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now.
during that time i have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities.
now that i am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone.
-
-
boy@crossroads
I think in a way male ex-jw's have a harder time in relationships then female ex-jw's
for me, it seems that worldly, "normal" relationships take more time and energy to initiate than witness.
I suppose with the witness community, you would usually have instant rapport and i guess that with such a tight community dating was less threatening. I find that in the world it takes take to establish rapport with someone before taking the relationship further.
on the same note, it seem that witness relationships just came together easier. I think the reason that males may have it more difficult is because we often must initiate the whole process.
-
19
I don't know how to ask this ?
by boy@crossroads inok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now.
during that time i have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities.
now that i am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone.
-
-
boy@crossroads
its always the females choice
your right about that, but sometimes they will try to initiate it by getting your attention some way. which I'm mindful of.
I had to keep telling myself: Its just a date... Its just a date... Its just a date...
elsewhere, that is exactly where i am at right now. I just wish that i could not take the whole process so seriously. when i first left, i was probably no where near ready to date seeing as every little thing that was different from a witness girl would freak me out but now i am a lot less judgemental. I'm still not comfortable cigarettes or smokers. Not that i think they are going to hell or anything but i would have to get used to a girl that smoked. plus, its just bad for you. -
19
I don't know how to ask this ?
by boy@crossroads inok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now.
during that time i have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities.
now that i am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone.
-
-
boy@crossroads
ok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now. During that time I have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities
Now that I am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone. No one in particular just yet. I think I know who I am and the kind of person who I would be happy with. I just haven't found her yet.
Coming from my jw background what are some things that I should be mindful of during my relationship, when it occurs?
-
25
Although a JW, I never wanted to marry a JW
by JH ini remember when i joined the jw's about 18 years ago, i was single just like today, and i never really wanted to marry a jw.
i would have liked to get married, but not with a jw.
i believed in their religion, but that was the spiritual side of me.
-
-
boy@crossroads
While there may have been girls I was attracted to or flirted with, I don't think i would have married one. I don't believe i would be happy with someone who must go along with the status quo. I never saw myself doing the traditional jw life; service every saturday, meetings every sunday, and being an elder was definitely out of the question.
I think even at a young age I knew that I would someday leave. I was just too damn curious.
-
11
Don't feel like hanging out with dub friends or worldly friends
by boy@crossroads inlast friday night sucked big time.
i just don't know whats wrong with me.
i have many worldly friends that would like to hang out with me but i just didn't feel like calling anybody up.
-
-
boy@crossroads
Being around worldly friends is still very taxing on my emotions. When I'm around them I feel very self-conscious, over-analyzing. Then I get pissed off at myself for being over-analytical. At the same time, there are old jw judging feelings that often bias the situation.
So on one hand, i feel it is a lot easier to hang out with witness associates. But i must admit, that even that is feeling more and more like a lost cause.
I don't know......
I have this crazy notion that worldly people know the world. I don't really understand that last sentence but its there in my mind and it controls my interactions when i'm around worldly associates.
Are worldly people just as unsure of themselves as I am?
-
11
Don't feel like hanging out with dub friends or worldly friends
by boy@crossroads inlast friday night sucked big time.
i just don't know whats wrong with me.
i have many worldly friends that would like to hang out with me but i just didn't feel like calling anybody up.
-
-
boy@crossroads
Last friday night sucked big time. I just don't know whats wrong with me.
I have many worldly friends that would like to hang out with me but I just didn't feel like calling anybody up. It's like i feel that i don't belong with the witnesses or with them.
It seems all the people I have met outside the witnesses have been unambitious. I just don't feel i have much in common with them. I think there nice, all right people.
I don't know maybe its just a part of fading process !!
-
14
HOw witnesses view worldly churches !!
by boy@crossroads ini still keep in touch with many witness associates (am not disassociated or dissfellowhsipped---trying to fade).
anyways, so a witness that i am not acqainted with sent an email out to everybody about one of his work days.
i thought it was pretty funny so i will post it below:.
-
-
boy@crossroads
NO harm done Aunti Jane.........it's all good
-
14
HOw witnesses view worldly churches !!
by boy@crossroads ini still keep in touch with many witness associates (am not disassociated or dissfellowhsipped---trying to fade).
anyways, so a witness that i am not acqainted with sent an email out to everybody about one of his work days.
i thought it was pretty funny so i will post it below:.
-
-
boy@crossroads
Read the first paragraph !! I am going to change the thread title, it is probably misleading !!
-
14
HOw witnesses view worldly churches !!
by boy@crossroads ini still keep in touch with many witness associates (am not disassociated or dissfellowhsipped---trying to fade).
anyways, so a witness that i am not acqainted with sent an email out to everybody about one of his work days.
i thought it was pretty funny so i will post it below:.
-
-
boy@crossroads
I still keep in touch with many witness associates (am not disassociated or dissfellowhsipped---trying to fade). Anyways, so a witness that I am not acqainted with sent an email out to everybody about one of his work days. I thought it was pretty funny so I will post it below:
Had something kind of funny happen today - I had to deliver scaffolding
(with my job being a rental center) to the St. John's Lutheran church
here
in town. I get the eebie jeebies going into churches. They have all
these
crosses up all over the place. The building smells like old oak wood,
there
is a candle burning on the podium along with chalices, goblets, and
other
things they use in all their pomp and circumstance. They even had
enough
instruments on the platform to form a small band. Each side of the
stage
was just filled with pipes from the organ. Anyway, my father went
along
with me and we set up the first scaffolding but soon found out it was
too
small. The "pastor" of the church decided to return it and go with the
larger size up on my recommendation. So no problem - just had to tear
it
down, load it on the truck, and bring out the other size. We got it
all set
up and everything. I deal with these "men of the cloth" on a
semi-regular
basis around town. Some know I'm a Witness and others don't but I
always
treat them with respect. The zeal of many of these people is to be
envied -
it's just that zeal is misguided. I've known Witnesses who seem to
hate
these preachers, pastors, reverends, and you know, with the attitude
some of
these men of the cloth carry it's no wonder. I do not sympathize with
their
religeous beliefs but I do respect them as a human beings and with that
attitude, many times you can have a very nice Biblical conversation
with
them. I've often outright told people that I won't argue religeon with
them
but that I will share in a good biblical discussion assuming we won't
agree
on everything and I won't "preach" at them. You would not believe how
much
truth you can share with others and how many times they really get to
thinking hard over what you say when they are assured you aren't going
to
"preach" at them. It's wonderful. Oh yes, many are still devout
members of
Babylon the Great due to Satan's subtle snares so we gotta be twice as
subtle, seasoned with tact, and go from there...
Even so, I whistled Kingdom Songs as loud as I could in the church and
heard
it echoing off the walls. It was my way of saying, "So there." and I
left... :-)