boy@crossroads

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Posts by boy@crossroads

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  26

  Does anybody else feel this way?

  by boy@crossroads in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a little background........ been fading for more than a year now.

  i think i have done a good job of transitioning out of the borg.

  i am now comfortable with many of the taboos i was raised to fear.

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  boy@crossroads

  Wow, really appreciate everyones advice. especially these hit a chord with me:

  The Biblical drama which is stealing away the vibrant aliveness of the moment is simply mental programming. Shift attention away from thoughts and mental interpretations of life, to what is real, to the actual silent sensations of life.

  thanks jamesthomas !!

  perhaps you should try something drastic like looking into the secular historicity of the bible for yourself? if you can ever get to the point where you can stop thinking that the bible is the word of god,

  thanks tetrapod !!

  life is huge and beautiful outside of the bible.

  I'm just really afraid of letting go of the control the belief in god or the bible has on me !!
• 
  26

  Does anybody else feel this way?

  by boy@crossroads in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a little background........ been fading for more than a year now.

  i think i have done a good job of transitioning out of the borg.

  i am now comfortable with many of the taboos i was raised to fear.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  boy@crossroads

  crazyblonbeb:

  do you feel that you treat everday individuals with the same respect that you used to feel toward jws (when you were in the jws)?
• 
  26

  Does anybody else feel this way?

  by boy@crossroads in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a little background........ been fading for more than a year now.

  i think i have done a good job of transitioning out of the borg.

  i am now comfortable with many of the taboos i was raised to fear.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  boy@crossroads

  skyman, what exactly is that? a pumpkin or a mask ?
• 
  26

  Does anybody else feel this way?

  by boy@crossroads in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a little background........ been fading for more than a year now.

  i think i have done a good job of transitioning out of the borg.

  i am now comfortable with many of the taboos i was raised to fear.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  boy@crossroads

  a little background.......

  been fading for more than a year now. I think i have done a good job of transitioning out of the borg. I am now comfortable with many of the taboos i was raised to fear. i think my self esteem is coming back from the state of shock i felt when i left.

  when i left, i felt the "small fish in a big ocean" feeling, it seemed like everybody was going in a different direction at 100 mph. and while i've come to grips with the realization that we are in control of our own destinies, it also pains me in some way. I don't know what i am saying, i'm just rambling !!

  anyway back to the point at hand, does anybody feel like god (jehovah) is looking down critically at everything they do? I wish so badly that i could just experience everday situations as they are rather than said situations significance in some grand biblical drama. If i didn't have to worry about fear of disapproving god, i know my social skills would improve 10 fold. and thats what i really want. i want to be friendlier, more open, honest, more outgoing, more laidback, go with the flow.

  question: when you encounter someone you have never met before, how do you view that person? do you feel that you have a natural intuition about people, or do you give that person a blank slate, do you care at all, do you try to get along with everybody
• 
  19

  I don't know how to ask this ?

  by boy@crossroads in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now.

  during that time i have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities.

  now that i am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone.

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• 

  boy@crossroads

  Nos said

  Chase after them looking for someone to have fun with.

  That advice is GOLD man. thats exactly what i am looking for.

  but at times i'm overly self conscious, trying to fit into the situation and that makes it difficult for me to just enjoy someones' company.

  My late new Years resolution: be a go with the flow kind of guy, just enjoy the moment, don't have any expectations, enjoy the little things
• 
  19

  I don't know how to ask this ?

  by boy@crossroads in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now.

  during that time i have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities.

  now that i am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone.

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  3. 
• 

  boy@crossroads

  Before a Date...Sing the Song Relax by Frankie goes to Hollywood!

  Lets the one i'm saving for the date
• 
  19

  I don't know how to ask this ?

  by boy@crossroads in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now.

  during that time i have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities.

  now that i am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  boy@crossroads

  and for goodness sakes, don't pay any attention to the victim-advice quoted below, not if you are serious about finding someone cool and compatible to hang with ...

  I concur....
• 
  19

  I don't know how to ask this ?

  by boy@crossroads in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now.

  during that time i have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities.

  now that i am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  boy@crossroads

  I think in a way male ex-jw's have a harder time in relationships then female ex-jw's

  for me, it seems that worldly, "normal" relationships take more time and energy to initiate than witness.

  I suppose with the witness community, you would usually have instant rapport and i guess that with such a tight community dating was less threatening. I find that in the world it takes take to establish rapport with someone before taking the relationship further.

  on the same note, it seem that witness relationships just came together easier. I think the reason that males may have it more difficult is because we often must initiate the whole process.
• 
  19

  I don't know how to ask this ?

  by boy@crossroads in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now.

  during that time i have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities.

  now that i am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  boy@crossroads

  its always the females choice

  your right about that, but sometimes they will try to initiate it by getting your attention some way. which I'm mindful of.

  I had to keep telling myself: Its just a date... Its just a date... Its just a date...

  elsewhere, that is exactly where i am at right now. I just wish that i could not take the whole process so seriously. when i first left, i was probably no where near ready to date seeing as every little thing that was different from a witness girl would freak me out but now i am a lot less judgemental. I'm still not comfortable cigarettes or smokers. Not that i think they are going to hell or anything but i would have to get used to a girl that smoked. plus, its just bad for you.
• 
  19

  I don't know how to ask this ?

  by boy@crossroads in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now.

  during that time i have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities.

  now that i am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  boy@crossroads

  ok so anyway i have been fading for a little over a year now. During that time I have been primarily focusing on improving my social skills: reconnecting with old high school pals, trying to make sense of the world, trying to connect with others, opening myself up to new belief systems, activities

  Now that I am becoming more comfortable around people i am considering pursuing a relationship with someone. No one in particular just yet. I think I know who I am and the kind of person who I would be happy with. I just haven't found her yet.

  Coming from my jw background what are some things that I should be mindful of during my relationship, when it occurs?