Hi Jr.,
I'm one of those who did the reinstatement and successful fade so I could have my family in my life. I was d'f'/d at 18, and it took me 1 1/2 years of attending meetings fairly regularly to get back in. I started out attending and trying to get back in thinking that it was really the truth, and realized along the way how evil the shunning was, and then my eyes were opened to other things going on in the org.
I have a large family, (nine kids altogether) and a lot of my extended family are also JW. I lied to the elders about my repentant attitude to get back in, and basically never set foot in the KH again after my reinstatement. My family only needed my (in name only) good standing to communicate with me and accept me again. They know at this point that I will never go back, and actually they don't care so much that I'm inactive, only that my technical status remains the same. I can't say what you should do, because every situation is different. In my case, I feel it was worth it. I have younger siblings who are still at home, and I hope to influence them as they get older and leave the home. Someone in my family has to set a good example of how to be a well-adjusted worldly person!!
I moved to a remote location about 2 hours away from my original cong. The witnesses never come out here, I'm not sure if my house is even on a territory. I live my life in a completely free way, celebrating birthdays, holidays, voting, partying, whatever I want. No local JWs even know I exist at this point, and if they did ever question me, I would feel NO guilt at lying through my teeth to help my status remain the same.
As for writing your letter, a lady I know whose husband was a repeat D/F'er ( I think he was d/f'd 4 or 5 times!) gave me advice about writing a reinstatement letter. As with all communications that you have with the elders, you should be very cautious. Her advice was to make the letter as short and sweet as possible, to avoid possible self-incriminating statements. I think her hubby had boiled his reinstatement letters down to a few sentences. Simply expressing repentence, stating the desire to be reinstated, and asking that the elders meet with you is sufficient. I would spend more time coming up with a game plan of what you are going to say when they meet with you. Figure out what they want (repentance and a desire to come back into Jehovah's org., ) and express this as much as you possibly can. In some cases, you may have a special circumstance that will help you greatly, so exploit this to your advantage. In my case, I was eight months pregnant when I was reinstated, so you can bet I used the I-don't-want-my-baby-born-under-Jehovah's-disfavor line. It worked so amazingly well that I probably wouldn't have had to say a word at my meeting, and the would've reinstated me anyway.
Well, good luck to you!
