Posts by Bubbamar

I can say that agree from the viewpoint that it was such a relief to have them off my back. No more pressure to pioneer, guilt trips for wanting to go to college and have a career, buying a 2 door car, dating......you guys know the list. I got to celebrate my 19th birthday, christmas, go trick-or-treating (had to find some kids so I could "take them" haha) etc.

Has all that freedom made up for losing my mom? That's a tough call. If I had to do it over again I would fade.

I'm happy to hear of at least 1 DF'ed JW who did not have to experience any painful repercusions.

14

First Year Blues

by MelbaToast in

this really doesnt have anything to do with jws, but i needed to vent.. .

i am going crazy i think...lemme just blurt it out.

my husband and i just had a baby last december and we're having problems.

Bubbamar

Hi Melba

Sorry you guys are bored...hard to imagine with a baby that cute!!! Anyway - I would recommend a Harvile Hendrix book - Getting the Love You Want. It explains a lot about what goes on in relationships and offers great exercises to bring romance back into the relationship. If you like the book you can also find an Imago Therapist to further help you.

Good luck and congrats on the beautiful baby!

21

Question about letters to society.

by laurelin in

hi.. i was reading another post about asking for your personal files.

i was wondering if anyone knew if the society send copies of letters you have sent to them to your congregation.. i recently sent them a letter asking about the old information about the 1914 generation on their website.. i received a letter back from them that didn't answer the question (what's new) but was more a slap on the wrist for even deigning to ask.

i was directed to a couple of articles about the apreciation and good use of older publications and told that older light had to be taken into regard with newer light and that older books still have their worth as long as we use newer ones as well.... talk about confusing.. anyway, i was wondering if they would send the elders in my congregation a copy of my letter to them?.

Bubbamar

Captain - You are a hoot!!! I'm rolling in the floor!

(That didn't really happen, did it?)

I've never sent a letter to the society. I wonder if they would answer one from an apostate with no congregation.

Good luck - I hope you don't get in trouble.

17

The big D can you help??

by brutusmaximus in

i haven't been to the hall in quite some time even though all my family are still in and i see some of the witnesses from time to time.

i am not disfellowshipped and don't intend to be as i don't see why they should have the right to stop me talking to my folks.

however one of my friends has just had the big d and is now regretting it.

Bubbamar

KES - Thank you so much for that post. I've been trying to figure all that out and you just laid it out beautifully.

Yipee for KES

52

Hello Everyone . . .(Questions)

by Frobrisher in

this is my first post here, though i have been browsing these forums over the last week for more than a few hours.

in the interest of full discloser, well as much as anyone would on a public forum, i?ll tell you about me.

i was raised as a witness, and have no real horror stories to tell.

Bubbamar

Bliss - I felt every word of your post. ((((Hugs))) to you and your daughter. One of the things I love about this place is the validation I get. I'm not crazy, wrong, sinful, ect. We KNOW what really goes on in the WTBTS when its members are allowed only to see one side of things.

Frobisher we are not victims. Most of us are here to recover. Recover means to get back what was lost. And speaking for myself - What I am recovering was not lost -- it was taken from me - harshly, by an organization that claims to be the organization of a god of love. You seem to still be able to recite the JW "script" - I call it a script because most JW's repsond the same way to a given situation with WT words. My mom says the same things....She shuns me because of MY CHOICES. My choice to not return to an organization that is full of hypocracy, lies and broken promises. They mislead my mom and threaten to discard her to satan if she dare read non-WT literature about the WTBTS with witch she could make an INFORMED decision.

I was DF'ed 18 years ago and although I knew I would not return I always had a nagging doubt about things. I thought I would never really know if it was the "true" religion or not. I thought I would find out when Armageddon came or once I died. But then I read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz and found out sooner than I anticipated! I would encourage you to do some research of your own. For years I was afraid to pray because I was afraid the Witnesses would then knock on my door and I'd have to go back. Today I pray without fear and I pray everyday for my mom.

16

A letter to my sister

by jwbot in

i got some help from someone on the board in composing a letter to my parents, but i am presenting a letter i wrote just now to my sister johnna.

she has probably been the most rabid in shunning me.

she is also one that i felt very close to.

Bubbamar

Your letter is wonderful and warm. Someday your sister will regret the time she has wasted by shunning you. I'm sure her jehovah is pleased with her. Grrrr

So happy for you that you have found your soulmate. Congrats on the engagement and hooray for you for not rushing it on their account!

Also so glad you have a happy loving little doggie!! My dog is about the only one in my life that has never betrayed me.

Good luck to you - I have a letter to my mom in the mail too so we will be mail-box-checking together!

9

What was the key topic(s) that you used to help you get your J.W. relative/

by hubert in

i was looking on page 22 of this forum, at radars' post of december 15, '01, which said "what made you a j.w.?

" excellent post, radar !!.

i was wondering which topics worked best for you?.

Bubbamar

I don't know how to link other threads either but I think there was one similar to this one recently. I haven't gotten my mom out yet - but I read Releasing the Bonds by Steven Hassan. He's a cult counselor and an ex-moonie and his book offers a plan to help someone out of a cult. I recommend the book as a good place to start. He says the first step is just to establish a trusting relationship. He says that when the cultmember starts praying/chanting/WT quoting its because something WE have said or done made them feel threatened. So he doesn't recommend attacking doctrine right away. The 2nd part of the plan is to educate them about phobia's using as examples other cults.

Good luck to you and yours

45

Find the difference of the two photo's

by gumby in

.

http://members.home.nl/saen/special/zoeken.html.

gumby.

Bubbamar

Why did I just spend $3.00 on coffee??

Better question....Why did I fall for that??