Confucious,
I appreciate your post. Drawing close to God has never been an option for me........even before I became a JW.
And since I left the WT after 30+ years, God is still in my life.............more than ever before. It takes time to put all that we have had ingrained in us out of our lives and to get to know real truth unemcumbered by man made rules.
I hope......... and will pray for you to find the peace and comfort that our Lord can give in these troublesome times.
Please.........never cease to pray....even though you may not at this time know who you are praying to..........Ask and you will receive. I know that's what happened to me.......I asked ........and the blessings that I experience today are more than I ever thought I'd have in a lifetim.............God is good......He is great............
Read the Bible for it's own merit.......you will have a new and complete understanding of who God and Jesus are and what you DON'T have to do to have their love and approval.
I use to make fun of born again christians for decades...thought they were demon possessed, goofy, idiots, not knowing anythind...............wow was I wrong.... I kind of feel like Paul being struck by lightening..........today I understand what it is about..........I AM a born again Christian and proud of it. And best of all...............I don't have to prove anything to the Father or the Son. They already know who I am............I am happy because God loves me...yes .............old imperfect me......and I don't have to prove myself to them.........just believe. And since I believe........my witness is my life and what I say in plain everyday conversation...........
I wish you well and hope you find the true understanding.
HappyDad (Bill)