I've encountered many grown-up folks who ask basic questions which easily could be answered by a Google search. I decided I'd delve into that a bit.
What I found was this. So many adults over a "certain age" do not possess basic computing skills! A Google Search is not among those skills.
My oldest JW friend died four years ago and he didn't not have a CLUE how to use a computer. He was afraid of it.
I have another friend who is 73 and she has an old flip phone. A smartphone is out of the question for her. Why? "Too complicated."
THE INABILITY to teach yourself new skills is really an UNWILLING attitude and a lifelong habit.
I may sound like a stereotypical Old Geezer when I say this: The current generation acts and thinks as though everything they depend on simply fell out of the sky.
Any sense of invention, of history, of struggle to reach the level of existence and plenty which comes with Science and Technology is almost TOTALLY INVISIBLE to them.
When all else fails - simple trial and error seems to work pretty well. But ya gotta TRY.
Posts by Terry
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5FASCINATION : Neurotic obsession with BIBLE and everything else
by Terry in(back in the old days) .
no home was without a gigantic king james bible.
families diligently read bible verses every day.
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Terry
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25
One State bucking the Trend-------TEXAS
by pistolpete inas thanksgiving is just around the corner, just about all the states are implementing total lock-down with high penalties on any citizen who disobeys.
but what is the deal with texas!.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh0fg5gqhvw.
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Terry
The "disparity" between infections and mortality is practically negligible.
I live in Texas in Tarrant County.
A large number of people have moved to Texas from California and New York for various reasons + the immigration from across the Rio Grande from Mexico, et all is a constant variable.
Except for 10 years of my life, I've always been a Texan. Citizens of this state (rather than recently arrived) have a peculiar and quite particular attitude about their state.
This is reflected in who gets elected.
It's this individualistic philosophy which could place a Governor in the proverbial "cross-hairs" if he tried to forbid people from exercising their 'liberty' as they see fit.
I'd hazard a guess our Governor is keeping his finger to the wind and right now it is a middle finger to the "know-it-alls" who want a crack-down on any Texan's arbitrary movements.
It doesn't affect me in the least since I don't go anyplace except to ride my bicycle solo.
When I go to the grocery store, everybody wears masks.
Bars are open and I have been once or twice with a buddy of mine. We stay outside on broad open patios served by masked servers.
I know nobody personally who has contracted Covid.
So far - so good. -
35
Biden will never be President
by Vanderhoven7 inhere is an interesting take.. https://www.facebook.com/pastorlocke/videos/2885572641768280/.
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Terry
The Wonderful Lesson we are about to learn: Predictions are Falsifiable tests.
FAILED predictions = proof of who you should NOT believe.
Pity nobody ever learns this lesson :) -
5
FASCINATION : Neurotic obsession with BIBLE and everything else
by Terry in(back in the old days) .
no home was without a gigantic king james bible.
families diligently read bible verses every day.
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Terry
(Back in the old days)No home was without a gigantic KING JAMES Bible.Families diligently read Bible verses every day.
Inside these huge Bibles were extra pages whereupon a family listed Births (dates) Deaths (date) baptism, graduation - milestones of personal importance.)My great grandmother (Florence Avery) read her Bible every day.She had done so with her son when he was small (my grandfather was born in 1890).My grand dad in his later years was fascinated and obsessed with discovering the "True" religion.He would go out on the back porch and read books on Theosophy, Swedenborgism, Paramahansa Yogananda, Mormonism - etc. etc.SO WHAT?Well - he discussed these things WITH ME!Imagine a 10-year-old boy, an only child, no kids in the neighborhood to play with, sitting with his grandfather discussing the teachings of some weird religious figure!!He would speak and I would listen. _____ I remember when he invited two Mormon Elders into our living room! He made me sit with him and listen.Two young men in black suits, white shirts, black tie; so earnest and wide-eyed as they lectured us using a large felt display board on a tripod. It was kindergarten level. Paper doll-like figures were attached to the board as the Elder spoke. They gifted us with a Book of Mormon and instructed us: "Tonight pray and ask Heavenly Father to activate your heart and mind and spirit as you determine if what I told you today is Truth or a Lie." (**Spoiler** It was a LIE).I was deeply flattered that my grandpa included me in his search and I wanted to live up to his confidence I could comprehend. (**Spoiler** I discovered the cult of Jehovah's Witnesses and grandpa was NOT amused!) That was much later, of course - I'm getting ahead of myself.GRANDPA could print out quotations with perfect hand-painted letters and hang them over my bed for me to MEMORIZE. If could repeat the quote back to him the next day, I would receive one crisp new dollar bill!He didn't realize he had released the KRAKEN!This was chocolate cake to me. I could get rich!Eventually, he moved on from Religion to other topics and more quotes would appear. Proverbs and Psalms from the Bible,famous Author quotations, etc.I was cleaning out his bank account!Grandpa tried to up the ante and challenge me with more and more difficult things.1. He gave me a book on Tying Knots, of all things.
I'd get a dollar for each knot I'd learn. Yeah Baby!!2. He gave me a book on cow branding symbols!(Each ranch would design a tricky brand to thwart cattle theft and being able to identify a BRAND was...a thing.)I had a page of more about 100 brands. He carefully created flash cardsBY HAND, and quizzed me. (I'm not kidding!) That was the fastest half-hundred dollars a little kid ever earned in Fort Worth, Texas.)
3. SPELLING! (I could go on for an hour about this one.)I was given a book on commonly misspelled words and I sucked it up and spit it out for cash!
4. MEMORY TRICKS book: yes, the most important book I ever read! Strategies for remembering anything (backwards or forwards). It has proved EXTREMELY useful in my lifetime.
5. Poems? Yep.
6. Composers! Yes. I could recognize classical music from just a few seconds listening to a random needle drop on a phonograph record. (This sounds like a BIG FAT LIE to most people) I swear I can do this even today. Thanks, grandpa!
Why am I telling you this?I'll get to that in a few seconds. BUT FIRST ...An older person who takes an interest in a lonely, shy child and rewards them for learning something has a HUGE effect on their entire life. I started out my life confident I knew things and could do things in my brain.I continued those habits, teaching myself. (Vocabulary word: Autodidact -self teacher)The 3 most important and useful things I discovered doing this was:1. A huge vocabulary (quite useful to a writer and reader). I learned 16 new vocabulary words each day until I graduated High School.2. A competent memory (I could prepare for a test at school in no time at all.) I memorized Pi to 50 decimal places and the Period Table of Elements , Rime of the Ancient Mariner, etc3. Methodology for learning difficult subjects.Here is why I'm telling you this.This morning, I heard an old expression I haven't heard since I was a little boy."By the skin of his teeth..."What the hell! I KNEW where it originated automatically.I memorized 853 scriptures, you see... why wouldn't I know?(Job 19:20), where Job says, “I am escaped with the skin of my teeth,” presumably meaning he got away with nothing at all.**DISCLAIMER**None of the above constitutes "intelligence."It certainly doesn't qualify as "wisdom".My grandfather identified or recognized something in methat was also in himself.FASCINATION and OBSESSION.He and I were odd things as people.If we were going to NOT be like other people, and I never have been, we needed a strategy to get through life somehow and he helped me develop tactics for learning, amusing myself, entertaining others, and that's about all it really is: a kind of magician's trick! IT IS NOT INTELLIGENCE.I became one of Jehovah's Witnesses for almost 20 years! That's not intelligent! It was a religion which took advantage of my quirky 'talents' and gave me a showcase for these otherwise useless obsessions!
What I have is a neurotic quirky heritable trait.If you don't believe me - ask my children.
Cults exploit all kinds of people and tap into their need to be loved and accepted.
Cults put you to work and make you prove yourself in exchange for love, sort of like me learning to tie knots for $ from my grandpa! JW religion tied me in knots with the promise of Paradise.
Only when I escaped did I find that paradise :) -
7
Marvin Shilmer website : one of the best contra-Watchtower sites of all time
by Terry inif you haven't been around for 16 years in the ex-jw community you've probably neverseen or heard of marvin shilmer or his wonderful website.just before he closed down i downloaded everything i could.i believe this link should still work.https://drive.google.com/file/d/0b6a8sp5_psf-utdbaxy5zfhqnms/view?usp=sharing.
give it a look-see!.
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Terry
If you haven't been around for 16 years in the Ex-JW community you've probably never
seen or heard of Marvin Shilmer or his wonderful website.
Just before he closed down I downloaded everything I could.
I believe this link should still work.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6a8Sp5_PSf-UTdBaXY5ZFhqNms/view?usp=sharingGive it a Look-See!
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21
What`s wrong With American Politics ?
by smiddy3 inwhat`s wrong with american politics ?.
96% of american people who got off there arse to vote, chose hillary clinton to be president of the united states of america over donald trump.. and the electoral college overode the will of the majority of the people who bothered to vote , and gave the office of president to donald trump who was the 2nd choice, an also ran , of the will of the people.. it`s a furphy to say that some larger blue/red states can dictate to smaller red/blue states or vice versa to rig the elections ,simply because people can, and do change there preferences in any one state whether it be traditionally red or blue.. both democrats and republicans are both guilty and responsible for the gerrymander that is the electoral college.. there i`ve said it ,.
nobody else seems to be able to say it how it is ,.
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Terry
Trump was "the highest vote earner of any Republican candidate ever," exceeding George W. Bush's 62.04 million votes in 2004, though neither reached Clinton's 65.9 million, nor Obama's 69.5 million votes in 2008, the overall record.
The Cook Political Report, reports the election hinged not on Clinton's large 2.8 million overall vote margin over Trump, but rather on about 78,000 votes from only three counties in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Michigan.
In state-by-state tallies, Trump earned 306 pledged electors, Clinton 232. They lost respectively two and five votes to faithless electors. Vice presidential candidates Pence and Kaine lost one and five votes, respectively. Three other votes by electors were invalidated and recast. -
3
DON'T read this - if you are sensitive!
by Terry indon't read this if you are sensitive.. .
skid marks in our brain .
harboring bad thoughts is like having skid marks in your underwear.
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Terry
Amen, Bro!
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14
TODAY is my 51st ANNIVERSARY of going to prison. I was 20 years old.
by Terry intoday is my 51st anniversary.
of going to prison.. i was 20 years old.
i stood before district judge leo brewster and made a plea of "guilty".
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Terry
was a new boy: Why were you not pioneering at 20? If the answer is in the book, don't answer, I'll read it for myself.
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That's a salient question!
Back in 1967 there was "no such thing" as Asperger's or 'spectrum Autism disorder" or whatever they're calling it now. So I was undiagnosed. Psychology and Psychiatry, as you well know, was verboten by the Society.
I would explain the answer to your question this way. I didn't drive (I walked everywhere no matter how far or how long it took) and Pioneering required a partner with a car willing to drive way across town to collect me and return me.
There was none such person in the Congregation.
So, how did you get to the Kingdom Hall for Meetings, Terry?
My best friend (who inducted me into JW-dom) had parents who drove each and every meeting and they were my ferry. Amazing, isn't it?
Had they not happily done that very thing - I'd never have even been a JW.
The Brothers who became my friends had cars, of course.
If we went anywhere - they drove.
Asperger's is my only explanation for not caring about driving or owning a car.
Hell - I couldn't go out on dates without transportation (and consequently couldn't get into 'trouble').
When I was paroled in 1969, an ex-Brother donated to me (for Pioneering purposes) his 1961 purple Plymouth Fury. That's how I was able to Pioneer.
(That ex-JW had joined the Navy rather than go to prison and he told me he was "moved" to donate his car out of "admiration" for my courage.)
It was NOT courage!
Asperger's again. I was and am very stubborn. I could grit my teeth and do crazy things. My focus on what I am doing is scary. :)
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Was it 53 years ago this day in 1967? Or 51 years ago this day in 1969 when you were released?
I don't celebrate in my heart or my head the parole date.
It was the beginning of a terrible period in my life even, perhaps, worse than prison. (
Moot point, I assure you.)
I remember and celebrate the fact I have an event (1967) which serves to remind me I can get through absolutely anything life throws my way because I - a Momma's boy - made it through the ordeal of incarceration.
I learned about life, about men, about police, about Federal institutions - a whole stack of learning I'd never have gotten otherwise.
Life Lesson, you might say.
That is what I commemorate. -
14
TODAY is my 51st ANNIVERSARY of going to prison. I was 20 years old.
by Terry intoday is my 51st anniversary.
of going to prison.. i was 20 years old.
i stood before district judge leo brewster and made a plea of "guilty".
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Terry
My understanding is that LBJ President Johnson was afraid nobody would accept induction if it became well known you could avoid prison through the means JW's sought. We were "made an example of" and this comported with the WatchTower's plan of advertising our "purity" with martyrs of a kind.
One of the Brothers in prison with me came from a family which had money and he fought the prison situation as best he could afford. As I previously mentioned, his family hired the "famous" Hayden C. Covington. (Flat fee of $10,000).
Hayden C. Covington, one of the most influential figures in the history of First Amendment law. Beyond the numerous First Amendment cases he argued or co-argued in the Supreme Court, he also prevailed on behalf of the Witnesses in over “100 decisions handed down by various state supreme courts, and . . . also triumphed in dozens of lower federal court rulings.”
“In the mid-twentieth century, Covington handled as many as 50 major cases every year involving the civil liberties of Jehovah’s Witnesses, who frequently faced persecution because of their uncommon beliefs and often provocative behavior.”
Covington took over all Supreme Court appeals for the organization. While he had argued many cases before the Supreme Court prior to this time, Rutherford’s death left him firmly in charge of the Witnesses’ constitutional battles. During one week in 1943, Covington argued fourteen cases before the United States Supreme Court.
SOUNDS IMPRESSIVE!
Read on ...
In the middle of my friend Sammy's trial, Covington got a phone call from Muhammed Ali's people offering him a considerably higher fee than Sammy. $250,000!
Clients can fire attorneys but a lawyer can't fire their client. Covington, according to Brother Sam Salamy, asked to speak to the Judge in his chambers. When he returned the Judge sentenced Sammy to 2 years.
Covington told Sammy he had saved him $10,000 in fines and had cut the 5 year maximum down to 2.
Years later, Sammy learned that the 2-year sentence was on the books mandated from the Federal Government for all JW's (unless they were under 21 like me!)
In other words, Covington didn't even try! He hurried off to court on behalf of Muhammed Ali and pulled the same stunt. Ali was found guilty and Covington was fired. (He sued for his quarter of a million dollar fee.)
Ali hired better attorneys and the case was reversed, Ali never spent even one hour in jail.
I tell you all this not to prove any point at all. It's just cards on a table. Make of it what you will. If Covington had been in top form and had cared - his previous experience and success would indicate he could have arguably saved the day for a lot of JW's - but he was an alcoholic. So, there's that.
It is a matter of record that Covington was handling about 50 cases a year for JW's who had money! He pulled the same stunt; parlaying his fame and Supreme Court success rate for cash. -
4
Party Poopers (my Radio Play)
by Terry inparty poopers a radio play.
cast of characters.
(narrator) terry (a crow wrangler).
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Terry
PARTY POOPERS
A Radio Play___
Cast of Characters
C.W. (Narrator) Terry (a Crow Wrangler)
Z.K. (Zombie Apocalypticist) Robert has an exterminator business.
Shay (Tattoo Artist) roommate with Robert
Weird Al (curly haired) roommate with Robert (his ambition is to be way cool.)
Lulu and Sadie (Robert's idea of fun guests) (Laverne and Shirley style)
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NarratorIt is now about five forty in the morning and I have just realized I don't have the strength to write this in my Journal right now. So, I’m recording it instead.
Robert, a former roommate of mine, called and asked if I had plans for this evening.
Long story short- I rode over to his house to play Chess.
Outside Robert’s house is his giant pickup truck with ZOMBIE KILLER painted on the side.
In other words, expect the unexpected when it comes to this guy.
What happened next you’re about to hear right now - if I don’t pass out first . . ._________
Sound of auto arriving. Engine off. Footsteps to door and doorbell.
Ad lib small talk for Greeting.
CW and ZK end up at a kitchen table with a chessboard. Beers are opened.
_____________
CW: "Hey, Robert, how's it goin'?"...
Z.K. "S'okay. S'good. Watcha got there, a new chess set?"
...
C.W. "Yeah, on eBay. I got cheated though."
...
Z.K. "Why's that?"
...
C.W. "It's 35 X 35 centimeters instead of inches and there's no black Bishop--but there is an extra rook."
...
Z.K "Well, I don't think in real life there are any Bishops who are black."
...
C.W. "Say, Robert--did you get a haircut?"
...
Z.K. "Un-huh. Yeah."
...
C.W. "Your head now looks like an acorn - I hope you got your money's worth!"
...
Z.K. "Nah. I did it. I used my huntin' knife."
...
C.W. “I hope you’re joking.”
...
Z.K. “In combat, you shave off all the hair because of lice, but you leave hair on top to hold your helmet in place."
...
C.W. "You served in the armed forces?"
...
Z.K "Nah."
...
C.W. "I noticed your windows are down on your truck. It's supposed to get colder tomorrow. Maybe it'll rain."
...
Z.K. "I remain skeptical of that. They've fooled me once too often."
...
C.W. "Um,--THEY? Who are THEY?"
...
Z.K. "Those tricky bastards. Oh, by the way -- I invited some girls.”"
C.W.: “To do what?”
Z.K.: “They’re comin’ over. “
C.W. : “To do what?”
Z.K.: “My wife and I are gettin’ a divorce.”
C.W.: “Which means…?
Z.K..: “When the cat’s away the mice come to play.”
C.W.: “So, we’re playing with mice and not chess?”
Z.K.: “Nah. We can do both! When’s the last time you had some fun?”
C.W.: “Just before I ended up in prison.”
Z.K.: “What? Yer lyin’--aren’t ya?”
C.W. “I wish.”
Z.K.: “What was you in prison about?”
C.W. “About two years.”
Z.K. “Nah--I mean what’d ya do?”
C.W. “I murdered a roommate in cold blood.”
Z.K. (Snickering and then groans skeptically) “Nah.”
______
(Ding Dong)Z.K. “That was the doorbell”
CW “Or a prophecy.”
Robert steps to the front door.
Narrator
I sat there sniffing my beer, bracing myself.
“Napoleon brandy in my beer? No wonder Robert is obsessed with the dead.”
Thoughts about what happened to Napoleon entered my mind.
(A woman’s voice. It sounds like Carol Burnett. Footsteps approach.)
******
Lulu: “Say fella, could you come help us get Sadie out of the backseat of my car?”
C.W.: “Hello to you, too.”
Lulu: “Oh--excuse my manners. Could you---?”C.W.: “My name is Terry.”
Lulu: “Oh--I’m Lulu--could you come help us get Sadie out of the backseat of my car?”
Z.K. “Sadie passed out. We’ll have to lift her out of the back seat and carry her inside.”
C.W.: “Hold on, hold on! Is there any reason why we shouldn’t just let her stay in the backseat of the car? What’s wrong with her?”
Lulu: “Aw, she’s got a ‘condition.’.
C.W.: “What condition is her ‘condition’ in right now?”
Z.K. “She got too high - that’s her condition. We’ll have to lift her out of the back seat and carry her inside.”
C.W.: “Is this WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S?”
(Lulu snorts)
Lulu : “Sadie ain’t dead. She’s just got a ‘condition.’”
C.W.: “But wait--hold on--why can’t she just sleep it off IN THE CAR?”
Lulu: “ Sometimes she craps her pants. Not in my car- no Sir!”
Narrator: At this point I poured more Napoleon brandy into my beer.)
CW: “So, if I follow your chain of logic here...it is better to have her INSIDE THE HOUSE crapping her pants?”
Z.K “Yeah, Lulu--what about that? You gonna change her diaper?”
CW: “DIAPER?”
Lulu: “Robert, she don’t want nobody knowin ’that. Why’d you say that to a perfect stranger?”
CW: “Hang on here just one minute. Just to keep the record straight. I’m NOT perfect.”
Z.K. “Nevermind all that - let’s go get her and we’ll work this out while we’re playing chess.”
_______
(Sound of voices and footsteps out to the driveway.)
CW: “Good god - is this a 1955 Nash Rambler? Those dents look like the surface of the moon gleaming under starlight.”
(Sound of car doors opening)
Z.K. “Lulu - is that you’re grandmother? She’s gotta be at least 110 years old!”
(Sound of snoring in background.)
Narrator:
Her very white skin looked like crinkled paper. Not so much dead as undead.
Oh hell, just use your imagination.
I don’t want to think about it anymore!
(Sounds of effort, grunting, complaining)
Narrator:
We hefted her every which way, yanking on ankles, tugging on elbows… It was a push-me-pull-you situation.
At long last, Robert and Lulu managed to drag Sadie the unconscious lady into the house.
I stood still in the driveway wondering how far I could run and how fast I’d get there.
___________
(Insert fake radio commercial)
__________
Hail Hail the Gang’s All HereNarrator:
Sadie was dumped on the rug in the middle of the living room like the body of a deer in a highway accident. Or if somebody threw their grandmother out of an airplane without a parachute at ten thousand feet, crashing through the roof onto your rug.
We all just stood there a moment and then shrugged.
We turned off the lights so we didn’t have to look at her and all sat down at the kitchen table.
________
CW: “So, Sadie is who, exactly--your Grandmother?”
Lulu: (Offended) “Don’t be a smart ass! She’s my sister! She don’t look her best right now.”
CW: “I should hope not.”
ZK: “Shall we all play chess now?”
Lulu: “I didn’t come over here to play no damn game of Chest. I thought we was gonna party.”
Z.K.: “It ain’t gonna be no party with your sister all zonked out like that. Now my friend Terry here ain’t got no date!”
CW: (Alarmed!) “Wuh-wuh Whoa. Hang fire. Nobody said anything about a DATE!
I’m more than happy to leave the two of you to your own resources and I’ll just go home and clip my toenails.”
(From the darkened living room the sound of a crash could be heard, followed by a loud “OOF!” A string of colorful cuss-words and astonishment erupts.)
Narrator:
From upstairs, Robert’s roommate Shay (Sheffield) lay draped across the body of Sadie.
______
Lulu: “What the crap! Get off my damn sister! Who told you you could get on top of her?”
Shay: (Sounding more puzzled than the human mind could conceive) “I tripped in the dark, dammit. You shouldn’t oughta leave your sister in the middle of the floor in the dark like that.
It ain’t my fault!”
Z.K.: “Yeah, Lulu. Lay off. Shay, allow me to introduce you--this is one of my girlfriends, Lulu…”
Lulu: “What do you mean--ONE OF your girlfriends?”
(Shay scrambles to his feet and straightens himself out; all the while staring at the woman on the floor.)
Shay: “Is she dead, or what?”
CW : “No, but I wish I was.”
Z.K.: “Lulu--all I meant was--I’m not completely divorced yet.”
Lulu: “You saying your WIFE is one of your girlfriends?”
CW: “Who’d like a BIG STIFF DRINK--if you’ll pardon the expression?”
Shay: “I for damn sure wood.”
______
Narrator:
At that opportunity Shay and I left Robert and Lulu in the living room arguing while we poured a drink and started a game of chess. The yelling went on for quite awhile.
I don’t know what time it was when the two of them came back into the kitchen and not before turning out the light in the living room once more.
Somehow or other, we ended up sitting around the table taking turns playing a really insane game Robert thought up. It was called QUEENS.
Z.K.: “Here are the rules: All the pieces on the board are Queens.”
(The sound of a loud crash in the living room.)
CW: “ Lulu, I think Robert’s other roommate just met your sister.”
__________
Radio Commercial
_________
_________The More, the Merrier!
________
Narrator``Weird Al” was a low-key throwback to the Hippie era of the 60’s. Al is only about 21 years old - he’s never even heard of Hippies.
W.A.“Hey! Dudes--did you know there’s a dead granny in here?”
Lulu: “That’s my sister, you asswipe!”
CW: “Speaking of asswipes--did anybody think to bring some--just in case?”
ZK: “Hey, Al, how’s it going?”
Weird Al: “Oh, hey Robert. I thought we were playing some chess this evening?”
Lulu: “She ain’t crapped her pants yet.”
CW: “Praise Jesus!”
____
Narrator
Shortly after that a new game is introduced by Robert the Zombie Killer.
All the chess pieces are pushed to the center of the board, smushed up close to each other.
The game begins with strict rules of chess in effect!
I think it might have been fun--or, maybe the Napoleon brandy was having an effect.
(A loud voice from the darkened living room.)
Sadie: “WHERE AM I? WHAT THE FORK IS HAPPENING TO ME?”
Z.K.: “Hey, Terry, your date just arrived!”
CW: “Very funny. And by that, I mean NOT funny at all.”
Sadie: “SOMEBODY GET ME OFF THIS FLOOR!”
Lulu: “Let me introduce you to Sadie. Come with me.”
CW: “No, that’s okay. Where’s that bottle of brandy?”
ZK: “I’ll help you.”
Weird Al :(Voice filled with disgust and wonderment) “That’s YOUR date? Why is she on the floor?”
CW: “The landlord smashed the couch to pieces a couple of months ago trying to get rid of bed bugs.”
Weird Al : “Oh. Okay.”
(Offstage mumbling as Sadie and Robert enter the kitchen.)
Sadie: “Hi. I’m Sadie, I’m gonna be your date this evening...according to Robert.”
CW: “I’m afraid there has been a BIG misunderstanding about that, Sadie. A MONUMENTAL misunderstanding. Robert made some assumptions without discussing any of it with me.”
Sadie: “What’s a matter, too much of an age difference? I’m 51-years-old. How old are you?”
CW: “I - uh- I - uh - I’m WAY TOO OLD for a young woman such as yourself. There are laws against this sort of thing.”
Lulu: “He’s right. Good god, Robert--what were you thinking?”
Z.K. : “Hell, I’m sorry. I didn’t think he was THAT OLD.”
Sadie: “You don’t LOOK that old.”
CW: “Oh trust me. I’m way old. I’m a real party pooper.”
Sadie: “Yeah well--that happens to me, too.”______
Radio Commercial (laxative)
_______
END OF ACT I
Based upon True Life incidents!