Did I miss something? last I heard my mom was attending a book study during the afternoon (senior citizen special). So now they only have two two-hour meetings a week?
mamochan13
JoinedPosts by mamochan13
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43
Will the Book Study ever be dropped from the weekly meetings?
by RULES & REGULATIONS inthe book study is one of the most useless meetings.
the same books have been studied 3 or 4 times.the meeting takes only an hour but takes up most of your evening.
and, it is one of the least attended meetings.. why haven't they combined the watchtower study with just question and answer and then follow with the book study with just question and answer?
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how do you move on?
by John Doe indoing well, being constructive, moving this life in the right direction.. but then,.
a scent.. a taste.. a joke.. a vision.. a smile.. and everything comes crashing back into yesterday, looking into the past while moving into the future.
perhaps it's a mental illness to be guarded against, alone..
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mamochan13
And everything comes crashing back into yesterday, looking into the past while moving into the future. Perhaps it's a mental illness to be guarded against, alone
It's not a mental illness, but it is a recognized mental/physical condition related to flashbacks and trauma. You are talking about triggers. In counselling trauma and abuse survivors, identifying and avoiding triggers is an important component. I tried to explain this to my mother recently when she wanted me to come for a big family dinner and "forgive and forget" my sanctimonious brother and his bitch wife. I can't be in the same room with them (sometimes even thinking about them is enough) without having the past come crashing back. I've worked hard to become and remain healthy, and part of that is identifying triggers: people, situations, thoughts, that are dangerous to my well-being, and avoiding them.
I think there is also a mourning process we must go through. For some of us leaving represents a loss not only of family and friends, but of our own sense of who we thought we were. It's healthy to grieve that, but moving on means we have to rebuild and replace. I've re-identified myself and become a person I really like now (most of the time). While it's true that a lot of the work I've done was done by myself, I could not have done it completely alone. Supports are essential, whether they be people, things, places, activities, etc. I have had to find something that reverses the effects of the triggers, and that is something unique to each person. For me part of moving on was identifying important losses - education was one, and I think my turning point was going back to university. Writing helped a lot, as did joining several nonprofit boards where I was able to regain a sense of worth through helping others.
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Why Would Someone Like me Leave the "Truth"? Part 5 (Final Installment)
by cantleave inthis is a direct continuation od part iv.................................... you can imagine the reaction of the people who saw me storm out of the hall but what happened in the elders meeting after i left was even funnier.
mike told me that there was stunned silence for about a minute.
slimeball said well take that as his stepping down!.
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mamochan13
thank you cantleave for your detailed record of leaving, thank you Restrangled for your honest comment, and again thank you cantleave for responding to that.
In reading this I kept thinking, "wow. So THAT's what was going through the elders' heads when they were condemning me." I found it disturbing that a brother who only saw the good in people was considered unfit for a judicial committee. Surely more compassion would be a good thing?
I was one of those not part of the "in crowd" and I did not have an elder father or even an elder relative who might have advocated for me. I always believed they were making a particular example of me, and the double standards were very apparent.
As you say, Restrangled, what a nightmare it is for all involved. I don't revisit the past often because it is still so very painful and I've worked hard to distance myself from it - that's probably why I don't come here regularly. It's surprising how much all that stuff can still hurt.
We can't change the past, cantleave, and it's clear you are doing everything you can to move away from that. Your posts here and your honesty regarding your mindset as a cult elder is going a long way towards helping those of us who have been abused at the hand of the elders to gain greater insight into the callous politics that are involved. I appreciate that.
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REINSTATEMENT !
by iknowall558 inluke 15 : 7 says : - .
"i tell you that thus there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner that repents than over ninety nine righteous ones who have no need of repentance.".
within the organization, the requirements for reinstatement of those who are disfellowshipped are 'repentance' of any any previous actions and attitude ; a demonstration of no longer practicing whatever 'sin' you got disfellowshipped for, as well as demonstrating submissiveness to the elders, the regulations, and the f&d slave.
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mamochan13
It was explained to me that restrictions were supposed to be in place to recognize that the returnee was in a weakened spiritual condition and needed help and extra support until they were completely back in the fold once again.
Bizarrely enough, when I was reinstated, they proudly told me that I would have NO restrictions at all. I guess I was supposed to be extra grateful, but it left me thoroughly confused. Did it mean they were saying they should never have DFd me in the first place because I was actually really spiritually just fine and dandy? Did it mean I did not need any extra support after being shunned for a year and a half?
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1975 For Deniers
by Farkel in1975 for deniers.
most of today's jws were not members in 1975 or in the 9 years prior to 1975, so they were not eyewitnesses to what really went on during that period.
i was a pioneer in that period, and i was an eyewitness to what went on.. those jws who are still active today and who were around in that period will typically say it was the "brothers" who "ran ahead of jehovah" and "read more into" the 1975 prediction than what was actually stated.
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mamochan13
Remember it well. The six month rule was a last chance since in 1975 we would not be conducting studies anymore. In 1974 my brother and I planned a move to where the need was great. Our CO strongly advised against it because we only had one more year before Armageddon. My aunt was passing around the story about how they were trying to book international assemblies around the world in 1975 but every place was booked so they had to pull it back to 74. My uncle sold his house. All my friends quit school to go pioneering. yeah. We were all victims of our own expectations? I don't think so. They created incredible hype and had us all ready and waiting.
How dare they then blame the rank and file for running ahead? As if the rank and file ever thinks or believes anything that is not first planted there by the WTBS.
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STOP Talking to Your Family OR ELSE!
by UnDisfellowshipped in" (the watchtower july 1st 1963 issue, page 411).
" (the watchtower july 1st 1963 issue, page 413).
" (the watchtower july 15th 1963 issue, page 446).
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mamochan13
Oceanblue - welcome. I felt for you reading your story, having gone through so much of the same. There is some really good advice and support here that will help you transition through the next period, so I encourage you to keep reading and posting.
I missed this thread first time around and it was quite disturbing to read. I thought I had read every word ever written by the WTS regarding DFing during the time I was DFd and begging for reinstatement, but there were a few new ones. It did bring back a strong memory of the feelings of hatred that were encouraged in us and it makes me ill now to remember how we were supposed feel about the DFed, particularly after having gone through it and knowing that I was not the horrible person they were making me out to be.
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JW therapist????
by maninthemiddle ini read on a facebook thread some talking about going to a jw therapist, i didnt't know there were any.
i remember a young girl that da and my mother blamed it on a "worldly" therapist.
knowing what i know of her family it had to be the best decision of her life.. .
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mamochan13
I remember the sister telling me that she had to sign a waiver stating that if during one of their sessions she mention breaking a bible principle she was aware that he would call the Elders in her Hall
I find this quite horrifying. I can't imagine a reputable therapist even asking this. Before you can register as a psychologist or counsellor in my province you must have taken an oath of ethics. An ethical therapist could not practice if he/she were to betray a client's confidence in such a manner, and i can't imagine anyone could be comfortable sharing their problems under that kind of threat.
I'm in the process of developing my own private practice and I've debated focusing on the problems ex-cult members face, but I'm not sure how great a need there is where I live. From my own experiences in therapy, though, I know how important it is to have a therapist who, if not an ex-JW, at least has intimate knowledge of the JW life.
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Post Number Ten Thousand and One
by OnTheWayOut ini just finished 10,000 posts today.
i didn't even notice.
so here i start on my next 10 grand.
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mamochan13
Hmm. 10001. I've been here two years longer than you and only have 330. What am I doing wrong?
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Have some went back & those who do, what's it like??
by DubR ini hope everyone had a great time with their loved ones last week!
i wanted to know have any on this forum went back to being a jehovah's witness who were previously disfellowshipped, disassociated, agnostic, atheist; or just faded away?
would any of you eventually go back for family and friends?
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mamochan13
Brrr. Never. Shudder.
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what do you think of the elders who df'd you?
by c.t.russel the IVth inyour thoughts on the elders that made up the 'comittee' that disfellowshipped you.
did you want to get even somehow or?.
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mamochan13
Restrangled - to go through that at 16 - well, I hope those guys have to answer one day for what they did to you. Like you, it was my reinstatement that really pushed me out the door.
I hate the men that did it to me. I appealed, and lost, although I think they would have overturned it had I told them what really went on at the meeting (for example, the fact that they never even opened the bible or said a prayer). But I was afraid of saying a word against the elders and trusted in Jehovah to see the truth and ensure justice. My trust was misplaced.
Then I moved to a new hall, and three new elders took over, although they still waited on the original three to make the final reinstatement decision. During the time from when they took on my case and when they finally told the original elders they were okay with my reinstatement, one elder's wife committed suicide and another elder was killed in a freak accident just months before I was finally reinstated. I felt incredible guilt wondering if my hatred and desire for revenge had somehow contributed to this.