Posts by ballistic

THE BEST CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS.........Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or
were announced in church services:

> > >1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at
> > >Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

> > >2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING
> > >Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference
> > >includes meals."

> > >3. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
> > >tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

> > >4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
> > >recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

> > >5. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
> > >those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your
> > >husbands."

> > >6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to
> > >a conflict.

> > >7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.

> > >8. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who
> > >doesn't care much about you.

> > >9. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

> > >10. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving
> > >obvious pleasure to the congregation.

> > >11. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
> > >nursery downstairs.

> > >12. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
the help they can get.

> > >13. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
> > >transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of
> > >Pastor Jack's sermons.

> > >14. During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of
> > >hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

> > >15. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir
> > >will sing "Break Forth into Joy."

> > >16. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
> > >church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

> > >17. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
> > >Music will follow.

> > >18. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
> > >Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

> > >19. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
> > >several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

> > >20. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
> > >recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

> > >21. The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 P.M.. Steak, mashed
> > >potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

> > >22. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
> > >person you want remembered.

> > >23. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy
> > >lunch.

> > >24. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb
> > >entertainment, and gracious hostility.

> > >25. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M. - prayer and medication to
> > >follow.

> > >26. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
> > >They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

> > >27. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across
> > >from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

> > >28. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies
> > >are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. The
> > >pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him
> > >their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

> > >29. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
use the back door.

> > >30. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
> > >Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.

> > >31. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
> > >Please use large double door at the side entrance.

> > >32. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

> > >33. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
> > >slogan last Sunday "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

> > >34. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

22

my story

by spender in

hey everyone...i'm new here and i thought i'd give you my story.. i was raised in "the truth".

my mother is still a witness of over 25 years, and a pioneer for over 10. my father is not in the truth.

he was supportive of my mother in her pioneering and everything, and he used to come to meetings occasionally when i was younger, but started coming less and less until he only came to the memorials.

ballistic

Spen, thanks for posting, I can relate to most of what you say. Why not also post it to a post like this:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=1665&page=6&site=3

where there are a collection of stories? You will find mine here.

Any way, so glad you have a happy ending like me, and welcome.

42

newsflash!! WTBS CD-ROM 2001

by greven in

jw
friends

yesterday an announcement was made at my local con.

and i thought i`d share it.. the watchtower announced that work on the new cd-rom is in progress and we can expect it at the end of this year.. unlike the other versions you can`t get away with win 3.1, you`ll now need at least win95.. available languages: the one already available + tjech and japanese.. some of it`s features:.

- one window (instead of several).

ballistic

elsewhere - it's spelt DOH!
don't ask me, it's in the American dictionary I suppose, just like homer.

42

newsflash!! WTBS CD-ROM 2001

by greven in

jw
friends

yesterday an announcement was made at my local con.

and i thought i`d share it.. the watchtower announced that work on the new cd-rom is in progress and we can expect it at the end of this year.. unlike the other versions you can`t get away with win 3.1, you`ll now need at least win95.. available languages: the one already available + tjech and japanese.. some of it`s features:.

- one window (instead of several).

ballistic

out 4 good, that WAS the photo drama I referred to above, and I believe they were "one of the first" which can mean just about anything.
However, my point was that THEY WERE quick on the band wagon and they boast about it; why not with the internet and CDs, etc?

42

newsflash!! WTBS CD-ROM 2001

by greven in

jw
friends

yesterday an announcement was made at my local con.

and i thought i`d share it.. the watchtower announced that work on the new cd-rom is in progress and we can expect it at the end of this year.. unlike the other versions you can`t get away with win 3.1, you`ll now need at least win95.. available languages: the one already available + tjech and japanese.. some of it`s features:.

- one window (instead of several).

ballistic

S&Smeister hit the nail on the head. If this knowledge is life saving, why not publish it on the net and offer it to anyone who seeks life's water (free). This is quite a serious issue to me. When so many people are about to die, why not use these two new revolutions (internet and mass storage media) to their full potential in the preaching. They always used to boast about using the latest technology such as colour photo drama and vinyl records containing sermons.

116

WHAT ABOUT THE STUMBLING BLOCKS?

by You Know in

the underlying assumption of the apostasy is that if the watchtower falls short to a significant degree then it cannot be jehovahs organization.

thats why apostates are hopeful that if enough fault can be found with the organization and brought to the attention of the faithful, then they too will accept the conclusion that jehovahs witnesses are not who we say we are.

unquestionably, many have been stumbled over a multitude of stumbling blocks.

ballistic

YK, I didn't get a reply to my post. I am quite interested in the way JWs argue their points in general if you look back at my post. I have a lot more to say on this. Any comments?

21

Did You Ever Read ????????

by YYHWH in

jw
friends

did you ever read any of the following completley cover to cover ?.

watchtower.

awake.

ballistic

Read Crisis of Conscience. Does that count?

4

Experience about Bro. Nelson (Prince)

by NikL in

jw
friends

i just got this story in an e mail.. i don't know if i should laugh or gag.. anyway, this sort of falls into urban legend territory.. read and see what i mean.... .

this past sunday (rainy and dreary) at our 3:30 p.m. meeting in bowie, a .

brother took the microphone and gave his name as "brother graham".

ballistic

All that glitters aint gold.

116

WHAT ABOUT THE STUMBLING BLOCKS?

by You Know in

the underlying assumption of the apostasy is that if the watchtower falls short to a significant degree then it cannot be jehovahs organization.

thats why apostates are hopeful that if enough fault can be found with the organization and brought to the attention of the faithful, then they too will accept the conclusion that jehovahs witnesses are not who we say we are.

unquestionably, many have been stumbled over a multitude of stumbling blocks.

ballistic

... This reminds me of the kind of "wooly" thinking someone suffering from denial would engage in, going to any legnth to deny or explain one scenario at the expense of some other argument, easily throwing aside logic built up in other areas.

In this case it is: all of the arguments in which the witnesses have been right PROOVE THEY ARE GODS CHOOSEN PEOPLE -VS- all of the arguments in which the witnesses have been prooved wrong (things which have stumbled people) PROOVES THEY ARE GODS CHOOSEN PEOPLE.

This is the win win situation I was describing.