Posts by lookingnow25

14

Col 2:16-19 in CO's talk

by lookingnow25 in

it's time for my once every 3 years visit.

started out lookingnow22, then lookingnow25, now it could be lookingnow28.

still struggling in the org.

It's time for my once every 3 years visit. Started out LookingNow22, then LookingNow25, now it could be LookingNow28. Still struggling in the org.

Given the recent power trip of the GB, particularly in the WT from this week talking about ready to obey every order, no matter how hard or unreasonable it may seem, this scripture popped out from the CO's talk (from the same day)at me. Quoted from NWT (sorry) :

16 Therefore let no man judge YOU in eating and drinking or in respect of a festival or of an observance of the new moon or of a sabbath; 17 for those things are a shadow of the things to come, but the reality belongs to the Christ. 18 Let no man deprive YOU of the prize who takes delight in a [mock] humility and a form of worship of the angels, “taking his stand on” the things he has seen, puffed up without proper cause by his fleshly frame of mind, 19 whereas he is not holding fast to the head, to the one from whom all the body, being supplied and harmoniously joined together by means of its joints and ligaments, goes on growing with the growth that God gives.

Could Col 2:16 be applied to holidays? It kind of sounds like it doesn't it? "let no man judge YOU...in respect of a festival". - Mock humility..puffed up without proper cause by his fleshly frame of mind.

lookingnow(28)

26

Just read "Who Wrote the Bible", another book recommendation please?

by lookingnow25 in

i just finished reading "who wrote the bible" by friedman after seeing someone reommend it on here.

i was enthralled and finished it in record time for myself.

i'd never considered anything that could be called 'higher criticism' before.

lookingnow25

Thanks for all the replies everyone! 'The Jesus Mysteries' was a great read. It's refreshing to hear new thoughts and ideas, and to be able to reason on them myself. I'm definately going to consider a few more of the recommendations here.

looking

18

Promises From the Dead

by Farkel in

charles taze russell promised us we would never die.

he's dead.. joseph franklin rutherford promised us we would never die.

he's dead.. nathan homer knorr promised us we would never die.

lookingnow25

:| I'm not sure whether to take that JC post seriously. That's the most delusional thing I have ever, EVER heard.

Looking

18

The Hooks: Which One Did You Bite?

by ezekiel3 in

i have a theory that recruited jws (not those born into it) all have a specific reason why they converted.

i also believe that it is still these "hooks" that keep them going - in the face of so many facts that prove jws are ridiculously wrong.

for those who were raised a jw: was there a hook besides the negative "you will lose your life, family and friends?".

lookingnow25

I was raised a witness, but still feel I was 'hooked'. When I was 12 my older brother died in a car crash, he was 20. We were very close and the thought of being able to see him after the resurrection was enough for me. This has been the hardest thing for me to let go of, I still really haven't totally I guess. Looking

26

Just read "Who Wrote the Bible", another book recommendation please?

by lookingnow25 in

i just finished reading "who wrote the bible" by friedman after seeing someone reommend it on here.

i was enthralled and finished it in record time for myself.

i'd never considered anything that could be called 'higher criticism' before.

lookingnow25

I just finished reading "Who Wrote the Bible" by Friedman after seeing someone reommend it on here. I was enthralled and finished it in record time for myself. I'd never considered anything that could be called 'higher criticism' before. But as I read it things began to make sense. I've not taken everything it said as 'gospel' mind you, reading one sensible sounding book on a subject hardly makes me a believer, at least not these days anyway :) The main thing that struck me was it's discussion of the "E" and "J" texts. So many of the things that have bothered me about the first few books of the bible seem to make sense when considering these two seperate accounts of earlier history that have been woven together. The duality of God, the constant struggle between his mercy, or grace, and his justice. The seeming waffleing on whether Moses was good or bad, whether Aaron was good or bad. But considering it as being written by two groups of people with conflicting political, religious, and econimical agendas makes sense.

Anyway, blah blah blah, ramble ramble ramble. Would someone reccomend another book for me to read please? I'd like to perhaps consider something about the gnostic gospels maybe. Anyway, thanks for the input.

Looking

26

Crisis of Conscience online or ebook?

by lookingnow25 in

i have no 'safe' way of reading a physical copy of this book really.

but after flipping through a copy at the university library here i finally want to examine it.

is there a copy online anywhere, or someway that i can view it on my computer?

lookingnow25

Well, no hard feelings on my part for anything that has been said.
For the record, I'm not a 'pirate' looking for a free handout of the book. And I won't bother to explain how short of a leash I am on, or how I can't check a book out from this specific library.

I'm afraid to read the book, yes. I'm terrified to own the book even more. But I'll manage something.

Thanks again,

Looking

26

Crisis of Conscience online or ebook?

by lookingnow25 in

i have no 'safe' way of reading a physical copy of this book really.

but after flipping through a copy at the university library here i finally want to examine it.

is there a copy online anywhere, or someway that i can view it on my computer?

lookingnow25

I have no 'safe' way of reading a physical copy of this book really. But after flipping through a copy at the university library here I finally want to examine it. Is there a copy online anywhere, or someway that I can view it on my computer?

looking

20

Depression and That Fading Away Feeling

by Swan in

when you get depressed, do you ever have the feeling that you are fading away?

let me describe what i have been experiencing now and in the past.

i feel so depressed that i feel like i'm not really here in the present.

lookingnow25

Swan,

I relate to your feelings entirely! I'm bi-polar, and when in my worst condition the best description I have of my feelings is that I'm living in the third person. I can feel and nearly see this 'fog' around me. I don't really feel anything, I don't really care about anything because it's like it's not even happening to the real me. I live in fear of those third person kind of times. Please shout out anytime you would like to discuss this more.

Looking

26

Any one out there been diagnosed with bipolar?

by Lehaa in

i've just started being treated for bipolar disorder, used to be called manic depression.

medication i'm now (lexapro) on seems to be working really well.

i do worry about how my being bipolar will effect my kids.

lookingnow25

I was diagnosed bipolar last year and have been taking lexapro and risperdal since January. I feel a bit more level, but mainly have tried to control my moods through stress management. I wish the best to anyone with mental disorders. Every bit of my compassion goes out to you. As far as how to handle telling family and keeping them informed? I am not one to comment on it, I am a terrible communicator. looking

4

Hello all...again

by lookingnow25 in

jw
friends

i lurked around here a posted a bit 3 years ago as lookingnow22.

the concept was that i had turned 22 years old and had just started looking into my beliefs.

i recognize a few posters on here still, glad to see that some people stick to things more than i do.

lookingnow25

Hello everyone...again,

I lurked around here a posted a bit 3 years ago as lookingnow22. The concept was that I had turned 22 years old and had just started looking into my beliefs. Well, here I am 25 now and still looking. I recognize a few posters on here still, glad to see that some people stick to things more than I do. I'm not sure what exactly made me want to come back here, except that I figured I could get a non-JW vewpoint on a few things, while remaining anonymous. Pardon me if I ramble...

This last year I was diagnosed as bi-polar (manic depressive). I've hidden this illness since I was 14. Last August I had an emotional and mental breakdown of sorts and did some stupid things. I'm suicidal and have been since I was a teenager. I've never attempted anything, but think several times a day about killing or hurting myself. Don't panic, this isn't a suicide note. I'm fairly medicated now which has leveled me out quite a bit, but is definately not a fix.

So here's my thoughts. I hate God, and as you can imagine, that makes my life as a JW very difficult. Maybe to clear that up, I hate the God that as a JW I have been taught to believe in. I read experiences of Jehovah providing groceries 'miraculously' for JW missionaries. I'm told of people who go to that 'one more door' only to find someone who was praying to God for help. I've heard of pioneers who were told they were fired for taking off for a district convention, but still have a job when they get back the following week. And yet, this same God, allows me to have no desire to live. This God lets thoughts swirl in my head, causing me hell, for no apparent reason whatsoever.

This all came out last winter after my 'episode' as my parents and wife call it. When I was broke down, I held nothing back, I couldn't. Every doubt and bit of malice I've had toward God and JW's came out to my parents, my wife, and the elders. Their response? I obviously was not "doing thing's Jehovah's way". I needed to study more, I needed to be in service more, I needed to pray incessently. Well folks, I had done it that way. My entire life from 15-21 was nothing but "Jehovah's way". Pioneer, ministerial servant, constant study, you name it. But I still felt this way then, depressed and suicidal I mean, but managed to hide it better. So in my mind I HAVE tried it "Jehovah's way".

Anyway, this is getting long, and I'm sure it's an old story told by many. I'm still a JW, mainly because it doesn't matter to me if I am or not. I love my parents, sisters, and wife dearly. But as I struggle to go to sleep at night, I can't help but feel that God's an asshole. And yes, excuse me for my blasphemy. Well, these are thoughts I can't safely express anywhere else, so thanks for the forum.

Honestly,

looking