Vivamus

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Posts by Vivamus

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  10

  Remember pain?

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you remember pain?

  i mean, lets say you were in an accident years ago.

  can you remember the pain you went through?

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  Vivamus

  JH, well, it will remain a weak spot for ever, as was so nicely reminded to me yesterday I hurt it years ago, by lifting osmething way too heavy. Then, I got bad therapy, which made it even worse. Two disks were out of place, and the muscles overstretched. Don't really know how to translate it ...

  Elsie, oh my, I cam't even begin to relate to that. I have hard contacts, and when something like a piece of dust gets under them, it hurts like the seventh realm of hell's torture. So to actually have an eye-injury, oh my, it must be horrible.

  Dede, I know those migraines, the moment when you actually wish someone would just give you a lethal shot, cuz you'd prefer that above the ongoing throbbing in your head ... ouch ....
• 
  10

  Remember pain?

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you remember pain?

  i mean, lets say you were in an accident years ago.

  can you remember the pain you went through?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Vivamus

  (((Sheila))), thanx . It's not really a big deal now, I know it will get better, I have a magical docter, it just takes some time. Tho in the mean time it truly sucks.

  Sentinal, oh my god, I feel a bit ashamed complaining about my back, reading your story. Hugs and stay strong.
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  52

  Wow..I'm Still Breathing!

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey, i'm home!.

  i came home from hospital earlier today.

  it was great to eat a fried breakfast again!.

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  Vivamus

  So glad you're home *Hugs*
• 
  10

  Remember pain?

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you remember pain?

  i mean, lets say you were in an accident years ago.

  can you remember the pain you went through?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Vivamus

  Lets try that again

  Do you remember pain? I mean, lets say you were in an accident years ago. Can you remember the pain you went through? Or do you just remember it hurt like hell, but it?s more of a knowing you felt it then, instead of actually remembering it?
  
  Well, I for one can?t remember it. About four years ago, I hurt my back, which resulted in me hardly being able to walk, using medication mixed with alcohol just to make the pain go away. I remember not caring if I lived or died when I swallowed yet another pill, just that I almost hoped to black out, so that I would feel nothing anymore.
  
  Over the years, as my back healed and I could walk, talk and jump without problems (well, okay, talking has never been a problem :p) I kinda began to think I was just being a big wuss and should have acted with a bit more zest and should have had a better attitude ? in short, I figured I was nothing but a whiner ?..
  
  Fast forward to the last few weeks. My neck and shoulders have been in knots ? stress of work, school and moving, all are taking it out on my muscles. And here comes the icing on the cake, when things go bad, something will happen to make it even worse ?
  
  Yesterday, I sat down, and lighting went from my lower back all the way to my right leg. I actually could not hold my own weight, and sat down, singing the reverse from Hallelujah from the pain. Did nothing but limping after that.
  
  So today, I figured I?d better phone my old doc, haven?t been there for over two years, but they remembered me, and I was told to get my silly ass over there. I stepped into his office, saw my savior and was grateful beyond belief when he said ?step right in?. I have never stripped so fast for a man before in my life. The doc told me to lie down on the table, and then the most agonizing ten minutes of my life began. Actually, I remember I have gone through this before, all those years ago?. Oh my god! Damn! That HURT!
  
  So now, I feel bruised and battered, still in pain, but a different one. I should be up and about in two days time, it should be okay then, I should be able to walk without limping then ?. *lol*.
• 
  10

  Remember pain?

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you remember pain?

  i mean, lets say you were in an accident years ago.

  can you remember the pain you went through?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Vivamus

  Do you remember pain? I mean, lets say you were in an accident years ago. Can you remember the pain you went through? Or do you just remember it hurt like hell, but it?s more of a knowing you felt it then, instead of actually remembering it?
• 
  12

  I can do magic

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  Vivamus

  So ya did it once .... prove you actually know how to do it, and that it isn't just a twist of nature...
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  17

  so, ex-smokers, is this normal?

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you know, every time when i quit smoking i hit this point where i break down, and cry like a little girl.

  unhappy with practically every aspect of my life.

  i miss those i have lost so much.

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  Vivamus

  Oh, Mouthy *hugs* That must have been horrible to go through. I have no words.

  But you are giving me more power to keep this up (the not-smoking I mean).

  *hugs*
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  17

  so, ex-smokers, is this normal?

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you know, every time when i quit smoking i hit this point where i break down, and cry like a little girl.

  unhappy with practically every aspect of my life.

  i miss those i have lost so much.

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• 

  Vivamus

  Lol, shopping means spending tons of money, chocolate is a def. no-no. *LOL* Not much help there Xena, but thanx for making me giggle about it
• 
  17

  so, ex-smokers, is this normal?

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you know, every time when i quit smoking i hit this point where i break down, and cry like a little girl.

  unhappy with practically every aspect of my life.

  i miss those i have lost so much.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Vivamus

  Oh god, Xena, it is exactly like that, but then, non-f*****-stop! It's horrible, and I'd love some pot, but that would just throw me back into another habit ......
• 
  17

  so, ex-smokers, is this normal?

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you know, every time when i quit smoking i hit this point where i break down, and cry like a little girl.

  unhappy with practically every aspect of my life.

  i miss those i have lost so much.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Vivamus

  You know, every time when I quit smoking I hit this point where I break down, and cry like a little girl. Unhappy with practically every aspect of my life. I miss those I have lost so much. And I wish for things I will never get from those still in my life. Every word spoken to me that otherwise would just sting me, hurts like its ripping me apart now.

  It makes me wonder if I use those nicotine drugs to just be able to keep smiling. Since I left the JW, I have been on drugs, one or another. Before the ciggies I used stuff which was way more harmfull. Before the drugs I was a JW, and totally unhappy, before the JW, I was unhappy, now, after the JW, I have never been happier in my life, but the minute I loose those pink glasses called nicotine, reality hits me with the force of thunder.

  I honestly don't think I can take too much of this anymore.

  Is this normal?? Did you who quit smoking had this too? Is its just something I have to go through for a couple of days and it will be over, I will be my cheery happy self again? Or am I just totally screwed and should seek counseling?

  -

  Blue Bubblegum Girl