Purza, I know exactly how you feel. I posted this another board before but, Ijust despise my JW relatives when on Sundays after everyone at my Grandma's house has just come from either church or the KH and we all meet up there to eat. My JW will talk to everyone else at the house and ignore me. Like I have Devil horns growing out of my head or something. At first it really didn't bother me but now I get pissed everytime because they are judging me. I had even considered trying to get reinstated just to avoid this and to start a new relationship with my JW dad but after I really thought about it. Why should I change my life just to talk to these hypocrites. Showing love is one of the greatest commandments in the bible. It didn't say show love only to other JW's. But thats part of their "sales pitch". Being nice/showing love to people of the "world" while they are studying or a steady return visit, but as soon as they see that person has no intentions of really becoming a JW but just reaping the benefits (giving them loans, taking them places, just anything to entice the person to joining) they stop associating with that person. Then the person is like oh wait, the benefits stopped I guess I just better go ahead and join the JW's so I can keep getting these "blessings". I've seen it happen first hand. But to them this is love, their versions of agape.
I still love my family because they are family, but if for some reason I was ever reinstated or the "policy" on df'ing was ended because of "new light" which I doubt would ever happen, I would still never feel the same for my relatives that have shunned me all this time. I mean would look me dead in my face and not say a word like as soon as I open my mouth I'm going to be trying to persuade them to do something bad. They don't know what I been doing with my life. All they know is I'm not a JW and they can't talk to me. That's why the friends I have that are not JW's mean more to me than my family does. They are there for me no matter what. Even when I was considering becoming a JW again, my friends said they would still be there for me. But on the other hand if I was to become a JW again more than likely because of the borg and not wanting to bring reproach I would probably have to stop spending time with them. What a crock of crap.
So Purza even though it hurts, just keep on thanking God that you aren't like that anymore. Showing love to a person only if the GB says its ok. I feel that one day when the ugly borg is really exposed for what it is and all the faithful lil dubs can't hide from the facts anymore like they do now, it'll be a good day.
