Posts by Jez

45

Please help! ( I have a question?)

by bsylva in

my question is this,.

and she loves me as well.

however i was baptised as a catholic as a child.

Jez

A marriage without honesty and openness is doomed from the beginning. I am curious about why she even started to date a 'worldy person' as this is not allowed?? Have you kept this secret from her parents this whole time?? Aren't you afraid that she is so attracted to you in part because you are 'the forbidden fruit'? You fall in love with each other and SHE knows the whole time that she is not suppose to marry an 'unbeliever'? Is she baptised as a JW? Check it out. If not, that will make this a whole lot easier, if she is baptised then she MUST adhere to every rule and regulation that the society imposes, as already mentioned in this thread.

Perhaps she was looking for a way out, why would she venture out even a little? She knows exactly what the implications are for a worldy relationship, maybe you are her crutch to get out? Even if she is willing to give it all up for you, (which would be better in my view than you joining the cult), it will be a HUGE strain on your marriage. She will have to leave behind her entire way of life, friends, customs, religion and family. A reconstruction will have to take place that takes years and is one of the most painful journeys I have ever tried. NO ONE can understand, except other ex-witnesses, what we go through when we disengage from a religion that we would have died for at one time.

Please keep us posted and best of luck. Many of us here have given up JW religion for the person we love and never regret it. Life works in mysterious ways. Be careful and go slow with whatever decisions you make, time will reveal your path.

Jez

30

Isn't the Power of Prayer Just a Myth?????

by Balsam in

1. isn't the power of prayer just a myth?

if a child asks a parent for help in an emergency and the parent does not respond we'd call it child-abuse.

if a friend asks a friend for help and they were immobile and silent we'd call that betrayal.

Jez

Yup, I think prayer is a myth. I think prayer is just positive self talk. You can talk yourself into anything and convince yourself of anything. Therefore, when one prays, they are really praying to themselves. That is my opinion now.

Jez

36

what is the weirdest counsel you ever received?

by nb-dfed in

jw
friends

my husband and i had a committee meeting because of underage drinking.

when he was being counseled, the p.o.

told my husband that he needed to make me wear different clothes to the meeting because it made some of the brothers unable to concentrate.

Jez

After telling the elders about the violent abuse I suffered at the hands of my husband, one elder said to me, "Well, come on, lots of sisters stay with their mates even though they are alcoholics." I said, "BUT HE IS IN JAIL! and is charged with it!!!" The elder said, "Love covers a multitude of sins" I told them all to get out and the next time I spoke to them was at a judicial meeting.

Jez

8

Weird KH stories

by Jez in

what is your weirdest experience at a kh?.

one sunday, a kind older brother raised his hand to comment, all of a sudden, his foot shot out, he fell off his chair and started to shake.

everyone was hushed and shocked.

Jez

What is your weirdest experience at a KH?

One Sunday, a kind older brother raised his hand to comment, all of a sudden, his foot shot out, he fell off his chair and started to shake. Everyone was hushed and shocked. HERE IS THE KICKER!!!..WHILE 2 brothers carried this obviously dying man to the back of the KH, the wt conductor CONTINUED with the WT study until finally...seeing that NO ONE was paying attention, stopped the study.

What did we all do? Sat there in silence until the ambulance came, (20 mins) took poor brother away, then finished the study with only the questions. IMAGINE!!!!!!!

He died the next day due to an anurism. (sp?) It was a horrifying experience to witness and yet "THE SHOW MUST GO ON" mentality was unforgiveable! Our whole culture is (correction, was) one of false love and callousness. I am sure many other examples exist, especially regarding those of us who would hear children being spanked for not being 100% quiet. Is it any wonder why JW adults can ignore df family and friends??? They have been subtly taught to be callous from day one.

Jez

8

A weekend spent with REAL FAMILY...

by Confucious in

jw
friends

hey guys, .

just wanted to take the time to give my 2 cents here.

for 10 years, i've neglegted my family.

Jez

My ex had not seen his child for one year. When she finally relented after much encouragment from me, she phoned and told him that she would see him and stay with him this weekend. Guess what he said,

"Only if you come to Sunday meeting, I'm not missing it"

She refused and I begged him to miss just one meeting for the sake of their relationship. He refused, so she refused to see him. He would not miss one meeting for his child that he had not seen in a year. Now that is fanatic! She has not seen him since nor tried.

Sad at JW priorities, Jez

17

Who loves you?

by StinkyPantz in

jw
friends

i was thinking about how many people i loved.. and conversely, how many people love me.

in both instances, i only came up with one person.

(actually, i feel love for some, but i doubt it's reciprocated).

Jez

I don't care who loves me. I have a good life and will make sure that it is good because there is only one person left in the end, yourself. I love ME for sure, all the other relationships in life COULD disappear. I can't leave myself. JW religion has taught me not to trust any relationship 100%. I GREW UP with ppl that will not talk to me now, I was more than a sister to them, I looked after their children, cried with them over loved ones dying, shared intimate things, I WAS ALWAYS THERE! Life has no guarantees, I walk it now with eyes wide open.

The relationships I have that would dent my soul if they dissolved are my husband and my children. My immediate family is what I focus on now.

Jez

16

Double standard about disfellowshipping, new info, please read

by Jez in

just got back from holidays and read the posts about this topic.

let me clear a few things up to the ones that replied.

i should have mentioned that my story is posted in the womens section entitled "pretending".

Jez

Just got back from holidays and read the posts about this topic. Let me clear a few things up to the ones that replied.

I should have mentioned that my story is posted in the womens section entitled "Pretending". Please read it before you judge me. Old habit die hard eh ppl?!?!

I left a 14 year abusive marriage. Crazy crazy story, anyways, I met with the elders etc for months about all of the abuse. They did not df him, even though he sat there and admitted it to them all. Just hung his head and said that yes, he did this, but he wanted to try again. Did not want me to leave. Trust me, I was done. BUT I did not fool around on him at this point. The elders did NOTHING, not once did they ask me how I was emotionally doing, these were my friends, but all they cared about was that I did not leave him. So I didn't. Sure enough about 2 weeks after they convinced me not to leave, he almost killed me. I phoned the police rather than the elders this time and they handcuffed him and took him away, locked him up, charged him and eventually convicted him. It was the worst few months of my life, I was so torn. I informed the elders via telephone what had happened. Did the elders come to see me? NO It was the beginning of my departure. I realized that they cared about saving face, not me as a person. I had been deceived. Did they go see HIM? NO They did nothing except publically reprove him. What a joke. He had restraining orders all over him to stay away from me. He never obeyed them and constantly harrassed me for months until jail was threatened again.

To make a long story shorter. I met someone months after my ex was taken that night. An old romance with an old friend from England was rekindled. It was months before we decided to met again. We fell in love and today we are married.
I am not sorry, I do not regret, I have no guilt, I am only proud of myself for leaving and proud of myself for trying for so so many years to right my marriage.

Let old habits die, do not judge quickly based on one word. "Adultry, homosexuality, etc." There is always always always layers underneath those words.

From my heart, Jez

18

Double standards Re: Disfellowshipping

by Jez in

i was df'ed for adultry, within 4 mons of 'the act.

' my dad left me mom, lived with a woman for 4 years, then married her.

to this day, he is not df'ed.

Jez

I was df'ed for adultry, within 4 mons of 'the act.' My Dad left me mom, lived with a woman for 4 years, then married her. To this day, he is not df'ed. I am glad he is not, but when I ask him how the hell he got away with it, he says that he told them to get the f off his property and that if they tried to df him, he would sue the ass off of them and create all kinds of problems. Basically a 'stay away from me and I'll stay away from you' kind of threat. It worked. I told him that I told the elders to stay away from me too, give me some time, but that they said that they would df me with or without me at the judicial meeting. Now I wish that I had refused to go to that meeting, stood my ground more, and lied. At the time I took the 'I have nothing to hide' attitude. But I did, my PRIVATE life, that was none of their business. Personally, I also think the 'ol boys club' was in effect as well. Leave the man alone, go after the adultress woman. I wonder about the statistics regarding men vs women that are df'ed for adultry.

11

No marriage after resurrection-MORE LIES

by Jez in

jw
friends

this really irritates me.

millions are being mislead by the society because they are holding out a false hope that they will see their dead loved ones again, including marriage mates.

how many do you know that are aching and waiting to see their husband or wife in the new system?

Jez

This really irritates me. Millions are being mislead by the society because they are holding out a false hope that they will see their dead loved ones again, including marriage mates. How many do you know that are aching and waiting to see their husband or wife in the new system? When quizzed about this very thing, Jesus replied in Luke 20:35 that: "but those who have been counted worthy of gaining that system of things and the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage." How much more clear can it be stated, yet pictures, sermons, etc..feed off of people's desire to see loved ones again. But don't question this! You will be told that there are just some things that are better left to God, we need not worry about such trivial matters. Shhhhh, tell your brain to stop reasoning....shhhhh, it will all be ok....now you are sleeping while awake...shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

21

Is disfellowshiping Scriptual

by jaredg in

hey guys i need som help.

i'm writing a letter to my family about the doubts and concerns i have of the wts and how they aren't god's source for spiritual food.

i don't feel that disfellowshiping and shunning is scriptual, however i'm having trouble find evidence.

Jez

This is my first post ever. Happy to be with all of you finally. When I think of disfellowshipping, the thing that always cements in my mind how wrong of a practice it is, is how Jesus acted while on earth. Just look at any story of his exemplary life while on earth and one will see that he constantly practiced forgiveness and mercy. There are many examples that I am sure you could find, but some are:

-talking to the Samaritan woman at the well, the practice was for Jews not to have dealings with them (John 4:9) yet Jesus showed no regard for the laws of men and automatically chose mercy above pretense. When the apostles showed up and asked him what he was doing talking to her, she left immediately, used to being shunned by them. Yet her respect for Jesus is notable and how he treated her. She went and told everyone that perhaps this was the messiah. How much better would it be for the borg if they welcomed ppl like this and forgave quickly. Respect rather than hatred would grow.

-I can't remember the exact passage, but it about a woman that was to be stoned by older men for adultry. When the older men asked Jesus about it, he said, "He would has not sinned, throw the first stone." When he looked up a while later, she was there all alone and he asked her where they were. She said that they had left and he replied that since they did not condemn her, neither would he. Again, mercy shown and a plea on Jesus' part for mercy. He knew that if any speck of justice existed in these men, that one simple phrase would bring it to the fore.

-I am sure that you have heard of the admonition to look after ones family and one that disowns a family member is worse than a person without faith. Why not use this principle to guide wrongdoers? The borg puts family members that ignore/shun other family members in the position of violating a fundemental belief of God.

Lately, the society is preaching that they do not follow 'rules' rather 'principles'. If this is so, why not choose the principles that first and foremost admonish mercy, love and forgiveness? Why choose the few harsh principles that are in the bible? Given low status of women, attitudes about divorce etc...one should look at the bible as it was written 'in it's time'. Principles should be upheld, not laws that were made for an archaic society.

Sincerely, Michelle