Posts by MelbaToast

Mrs. Jones *hugs* I didn't know you moved back! I am so sorry that your mom does this. Don't ever think you are alone out there!! My mother just did this a couple of months ago-told me on the phone when I was going to come home (my grandmas ill) "I really don't feel like having little children around" My daughter is now getting ready to turn six and she has saw her only a handful of times. My sisters youngest is seven, a boy, and is the same way. Thats why I live 300 miles away, to seperate myself from her and her caustic abuse.

I always wonder what was so terrible in their past to make them so evil.

Still cant understand how people can be cruel to children...I'm sorry.

48

Why Do So Many DF'd End In Some Sort Of Trouble?

by african GB Member in

jw
friends

most ex-jw's df/da that i know end up living a dangerous life.

some get into drugs, prostitution, gangsterism,etc.

as a result they prove the jw theory that says "whoever leaves jehovah's organisation won't make it" right.. it's difficult for me to say this, but it seems like jw's are partly right on this one.. why do most ex-dubs end up in a predicament of some sort?

MelbaToast

I can say in my experience as a born-in, yes I went a little off the chain when I first was df'd. For some of the time it was still teenage rebellion at its worst-I did everything that I was told not to just because I could.

Then the realization hit about after 6 months- I am doing myself more damage than good. However, I am a little more stubborn than some, so it takes a while to set in and discover what I never knew about myself before: that I had choices. Some good, some bad, but we pay for them all.

I think that after living so long of not having choices and trying to please everyone else, I was both selfish and self destructive at the same time after my exit. I believe born-ins have the select distinction of also having their whole social system taken away from them when they are df'd, which leads to desperate and despondant measures. Compounded with the predisposition to mental illness that JW's already have, with the sadness and self doubt that losing all your friends and family has at such a pivotal point (read: 18-21 yrs old) in many peoples lives and there is a recipe for disaster. I was lucky that I made an outcry because I was sucidial and told my parents I was. Therefore I got help outside (a psychologist) that helped me put things in perspective before I went too deep. Unfortunately, not everyone has the facilities or even the ability to tell their family how much they are hurting inside. I went from private reproof to public reproof to df'd in less than 6 months, and it was the worst time in my life, and it was all for NOTHING. As innocent as having a boy ( my best friend) in my hotel room to watch tv, with my parents room right next door, and things just went from there. So judge not, lest you be judged. :P

283

Time again for........ Congregation roll call

by Jourles in

it's been a while since this topic has been brought up.

use it as a chance to see if there is someone you might know from years past.

1973-1976 --- lakeside, ca??

MelbaToast

1977-1990 Drayton Plains Congo, Pontiac MI

1990-1995 Barboursville, WV

1995-present free at last :)

17

My brother spoke to me for 2 hours after 2 1/2 years

by toladest in

jw
friends

boy that would sound weird to most normal people.

my brother is still a jw.

he has never attempted to talk to me since i was dfed/daed.

MelbaToast

Its such a strange feeling to get reacquainted with family. I have a sister that was dfd about 10 years before I did (shes 8 years older). Im glad you were able to hold a conversation with a family member, maybe this is the one actual showing of concern that he needed to confirm that people will still love him no matter.

Take it slow, developing a relationship again takes time. Of course there are going to be barriers on both sides, you and your brother. Make it known that you want to be family, and leave it at that. If he wants to talk religion, let him bring it into the conversation. Congrats to you for making an effort, it takes a lot of heart to make the first move.

40

Our Friend, Outnfree, Needs Our Help!

by Robdar in

jw
friends

as most of you are aware, our friend, brenda, aka outnfree, has been diagnosed with breast cancer and is undergoing chemo.

i asked her if she would mind if we did a weekly prayer vigil and she said that she would appreciate it.

she thinks that thursdays would be good since that is when she goes to the doctor to receive the chemo.

MelbaToast

Brenda: Hugs to you! Also I will be thinking of you on thur. and I will make sure to send positive vibes your way!

Melanie

35

"College, oh no!" PT 1-New guy here

by theundecided2004 in

jw
friends

hello everyone, i have been keeping up with posts on this board for about four years now, been a member for about one year but have never had the courage to make my first post.

so now i'm going to make that first step to get rid of that fear i had of betraying myself, and vent my experiences and frustrations with this faith.

i think this board will be a good way for me to make acquaintances of people with similar feelings that i have regarding the jehovah's witnesses, as well as a good outlet for my frustrations as a jw, and get some advice as to maybe getting a reasonable exit strategy in the near future.

MelbaToast

Wow, what a great first post! Im so glad you decided to join the living; venting all your frustrations is very freeing sometimes..Realize you are around friends here and welcome!

49

Here's to Evil Force....

by avishai in

jw
friends

one of the most ironically named posters i've ever seen.

kind, strong, intelligent, patient with those who are intolerant.

within the few short mo.

MelbaToast

WOW..a day away from JWD and look what happened. EvilForce, I always enjoy your posts, don't let em get ya down.

21

Friend's Daughter Diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes... Post Your Support

by FMZ in

jw
friends

"k" was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes today.

her mother took her into the hospital this morning, where the diagnosis was made.

she will have to have shots of insulin every day for the rest of her life..

MelbaToast

My family has a large history with both types of diabetes. It does take a little while to get adjusted to the new way of dealing with highs and low blood sugars and they can take a toll on moods. That being said, always make sure to have a little glucose on hand if the sugar drops low. Orange juice works good in a pinch too.

Dont worry hon, this is a totally controllable way of life. With all the advances and research going into new options for diabetics, medicines are always changing.

My thoughts are with you *hugs*

Melbatoast

51

Chemo begins today

by outnfree in

jw
friends

so, i've been sitting at the computer all night long, not really panicked, but definitely disturbed at the thought of what the months to come will entail.. the port-a-cath was "installed" (surgically) on monday, and that was tough.

somehow the lumpectomy last month and even finding out that there was lymph node involvement was okay.

scary, but okay.

MelbaToast

Brenda, I don't know you very well, but the fact that we have shared things in this forum brings us together. Reading your thread made me cry for the emotion you are going through right now.

I am thinking positive thoughts fo ryou and will be thinking of you and your family.

Melbatiast