Posts by Momof4

For the record, x-mas is still a disfellowshipping offense, at least here in central Illinois. Actually, we were D/A in December for celebrating it. Only four days before my aunt's memorial service at the kingdom hall. They wanted to make sure they got the word out so everyone would shun us.

31

Do "they" care?

by peggy in

jw
friends

i attended the meeting today, hoping for some encouraging words.

i arrived while the prayer was in progress, i waited, then found my way to a familiy i enjoy and sat with them.

the speaker was visiting from another congregation.

Momof4

I think some do. I was very surprised to hear of the brother's prayer for ALL those affected by the disaster. How encouraging! I feel that there are very loving brothers and sisters still in the org but then also just the opposite. However, it has been my experience that the judgemental and unloving individuals outweigh the kind ones. My mother just spoke to a witness last night and their CO only mentioned in his closing prayer the "brothers and sisters" affected by this tragedy and the sister was disgusted. When I was fading and still attending meetings, it was difficult to listen to things like this and cruel comments by the friends during the WT study and not say anything. It made me feel powerless, not to speak out against these wrong things. I had been in the org. long enough to know what would happen if I did say anything or spoke out. So my fade did not last too long, I just couldn't take it any longer. I still feel love in my heart for these people because I feel they are misled, but it really makes me sad with this recent tragedy because this could really provide them with an opportunity to display the love they boast about. I feel if someone who claims to be Christian won't even pray for victims of a tragedy how can that even be remotely close to love?

68

Only One Religion's WebSite Ignores the Desaster in South Asia

by GermanXJW in

jw
friends

to whatever religion's website you surf, all have a comment on the tsunami in south asia: be it catholic, protestant, adventist, mormon, new apostolic or whatever.

they try to give comfort and encourage people to donate for the suffering people there.

but if you go to http://www.watchtower.org or http://www.jw-media.org there is no mention of it (at least by now).

Momof4

This doesn't really surprise me at all. I remember when the 9/11 tragedy occurred I went to the service/school meeting that night and not one person even brought up the event!! It was like nothing had happened that day out of the ordinary!!. When it came time for final prayer I thought surely they will mention something.....but nothing and no one said anything afterwards either. The next week, however, was our CO's visit and I remember the only thing mentioned was whether or not there were any of "the friends" in the tragedy. He also said the brothers were at ground zero witnessing, and he made fun of "one of Christendom's ministers". He said the brothers asked the minister when he was leaving "what did you bring the workers? and the minister replied water, and the brothers said we're bringing the good news of the kingdom", and the whole congregation just laughed. It really disgusted me because this was all told in a very condescending manner, and I just thought people in this disaster need water too and I'm sure they're thankful someone is bringing it.

31

Pathetic

by peggy in

jw
friends

i am new to forum.

my concerns with this group as with any group is the anger displayed to others.

i was emotionally abused for years for my association to the truth.

Momof4

Hi Peggy and Welcome!!!!

When I first started lurking at this board I too thought that there was a lot of anger but also a lot of support from people who had been in my shoes. Once I looked in a little deeper I realized that these angry ones had been severely hurt by the organization. People have lost parents, mates, children all because of the mandates of the society. So I realized this is a lot like grief. Everyone grieves differently, and who I am to tell someone not to be angry (maybe they lost a child due to lack of a blood transfusion only to find out later the blood doctrine was wrong all along) I feel like you though, I don't hate witnesses at all. I love them very much, and as a Christian I pray for them. I really hope you stick around, I'd like to hear more of your experience.

29

My Testimony

by snakeizz in

jw
friends

okay you guys here is my story.....it might be a lil' long winded, but please bear with me....it's interesting.... well i have been away for 8 years...i stopped when i was 17 and i'm 25 now.

it all started when i became a non baptized publisher at age 14. i was a very good speaker/reader.

the elders were waiting for me to get baptized and encouraged me to do so.

Momof4

Welcome Snakeizz, I think it's great you have found a true relationship with God. As a witness I used to think I had a relationship with Him, now I realize I had a relationship with only the organization. I totally agree with what you said about having a sense of peace nothing can compare to it. One thing I decided when I left the organization was that they weren't going to take God away from me. It took me quite awhile to discover Him and establish a "real" relationship with Him, but it's been worth all the tears, prayers and heartache.

31

You Will Know By The Love They Have Among Themselves

by Corvin in

the organization of jehovah's witnesses boasts of having true brotherly love for one another.

i always believed they did, although i never felt it growing up in it.

i reckoned that there was something wrong with me since i never felt that "joy" and "spirit of love" that supposedly permeated the congregations.

Momof4

In my old congregation we had an older long-time brother in failing-health. He was in and out of the nursing home for rehabilitation. My husband and I really enjoyed him and his wife they were sweeties. Anyhow, he was to the point where he could hardly walk anymore and needed to go to his next Dr's appt, so his wife called the PO of our hall for help and a ride, but he wouldn't help because....get this....he said "it was a possible liability for the brothers". His worldly next-door neighbors took him. This just DISGUSTED me and it was at the time when I first began to have doubts. Also when I was planning meals for the family (when they got home from the nursing home) it was like pulling teeth to get the sisters to help prepare meals for them. I couldn't believe it, and it really helped me to realize that, unfortunately, the bros and sisters don't do a lot of helping out unless they can count field service time for it.

28

Hello...ex .jw. intro & background.

by Nigel in

jw
friends

my name is nigel.i am 50,married with five kids,early teens to late 20,s.i live in the bush in australia.i have cruised this site for a couple of months & feel comfortable enough to talk now.those of you who were long term jw,s will understand that.only my direct family know what i am about to tell.i have never told anyone else as they would not understand.i was born a jw in the u.k. and some of my first memories are of going door to door.i was scalded when i was 4 & i remember some brothers coming to see me.my parents emigrated when i was 13 as my dad didn,t get on with the inlaws.my dad drank a bit at home at home & was violent.it was never spoken about outside of the family and at 15 i left home.i was the eldest of four.i continued to go to meetings,lived on my own & learnt a trade.at 20 i married a good jw girl as was expected & became a regular pioneer.i was a good public speaker & as far as the congregation was concerned had a bright future.i believed in what i was doing as it was what i had been taught.when i was 22 we had a baby & was witnessing one sunday morning & was involved in a head on car accident in a 60mph zone.my wife & son were minor injured but i was lucky to survive.i had many bone fractures & head injuries & i did not know who i was,what had happened,nor recognize my wife or child for 3 months.i was in hospital for 6 months.i was unable to do anything for a year.by this time i was in financial difficulty & due to this & my mental state grabbed what i could get in court,which was not much.during this time no one helped...no one.i continued to go to the meetings but my heart was gone & the downhill slide had started.over the next 7 to 8 years i worked a normal job but started to drink & by mid 80s was not attending meetings.my wife was a good jw & did not understand my feelings.although i had much respect for her & still do,by this stage we had 3 kids,& there was a chasm between us.i knew that i was affecting my wife but she would never divorce me.so i figured the best way was to give them all the reason not to want me around.i was called to the meeting & i told the elders how i felt & that even i did not know why.disfellowshiped.fair enough.we divorced late 80s.she married an elder.i married a so say worldly person.about 3 or 4 years later my new wife & i had 2 kids & were getting along fine.i had started talking to dad but i did not want to go back to meetings.my dad was disfellowshiped for smoking & could not give it up.he became ill & very depressed.he overdosed on anti depressants.my mum knew what he had done & left him on the floor for 24 hours before calling an ambo.she rang me when he was dead.i don,t talk to her any more.she remains a jw.no comment.my sisters are jw,s.

nobody talks anymore but.three weeks after dad died my brother had a lot of problems,financial,legal & grief.he was only 29.he shot himself.i buried two in three weeks.and so began a new chapter in my life...violence.and baby wasn,t i good at it.i king hit everyone within arms length for a year.didn,t lose a fight,the anger was immense.did the maximum weekend detention,lost my job,my second wife took the kids & went.

understandable.i held a gun in my mouth so hard i bled for two days.but i couldn,t do it.i love my present wife & kids & i believed that jehovah would understand & forgive me when i die.i did my best with what i was given.from that day i never looked back.i fixed it up with my wife & we get on great.my three oldest kids to my 1st wife are jw,s but i see a bit of them.my wife now hasn,t much time for religion.understandable.she is a nurse.i don,t work any more.i still look outside & appreciate what god has done for us but i don,t need other people to feel that.too much damage done.i don,t slag the witnesses nor the wts.their business what they do.i just don,t agree with the procedure of df,s and the climate of fear & guilt.i have seen much & will contribute where i can.you seem like a decent bunch.good luck to you all.nigel

Momof4

Welcome Nigel! Thanks so much for sharing your life's experiences with us. It sounds like you've come a long way. I find it therapeutic to discuss my past experiences with the wts so I appreciate it when others share theirs as well.

37

Long-time lurker introduction

by Momof4 in

jw
friends

i wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

i am probably one of the longest lurkers here ever.

i've been lurking for almost three years now, and i enjoy reading a lot of the posts.

Momof4

Thank you everyone for such a warm welcome!!! It feels good to finally make a post! I'll try to answer everyone's questions so far. I don't have a lot of leisure time with a six-year old and 3 1/2 year old toddlers.

Recovering jw: As to the number that got out it would be myself of course, my husband (thank God!), my mom and dad, my sister (never baptized, the only smart one) and my best friend. I still have aunts, uncles and cousins in the org.

Panda: Yes, I did loads of research. I think I've read every book available. When I first read Franzs' books I devoured them. I read them in just a few days and that was on the sly because my husband had no idea. I had to be so sneaky! I'm familiar with Galena I've gone skiing up there several times.

Joy: It's been awhile since we've talked. You were very encouraging to me when I was initially coming out. I think you were the first "apostate" I'd spoken with. I always loved you and your hubby's posts, they always seemed balanced and kind. I finally met your friends from the Hillsboro area. They are a couple of sweethearts, we had them over for dinner and it felt like we had known them for years.

Outnfree: As far as exiting successfully, I guess I'm just lucky...oops I mean fortunate. One thing I didn't do was bombard my husband in a negative way. He knew it broke my heart to find out what I did about the org. As a matter of fact, I didn't want to leave. I loved the brothers and sisters in our hall (still do). But I knew from what I had read and researched that this religion was steeped in falsehood, and the pedophile issue bothered me with having four little ones. So my conscience would not allow me to be a part of it any longer. I did a rather quick fade and my husband was still going to meetings for a couple of months after that. Of course that sent everyone into a tizzy at that hall, but that's a whole 'nother story.

hemp loverl: My multiples are triplets ( two girls and a boy) and my oldest son was only two when they came along. Now you all know why I don't have time to post! I'm from central Illinois.

37

Long-time lurker introduction

by Momof4 in

jw
friends

i wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

i am probably one of the longest lurkers here ever.

i've been lurking for almost three years now, and i enjoy reading a lot of the posts.

Momof4

I wanted to say hello and introduce myself. I am probably one of the longest lurkers here ever. I've been lurking for almost three years now, and I enjoy reading a lot of the posts. I'm a 3rd-gen j.w. My husband and I "faded" in 2001, and I could go on all day about our experiences before and after our exit. But I'll keep it short. When I had my first child I started to question the blood policy, not vocally of course. After the birth of my multiples, I opened up to my best friend about my concerns with this policy and my guilty conscience for even questioning the society. Amazingly, she had concerns as well for about six months but did not speak to anyone of them. She had stumbled on to a Time magazine article that dated the fall of Jerusalem to 587/86, so she had started to research on her own. She had read Crisis of Conscience and also In Search of Christian Freedom, and she recommended I read them and also the website AJWRB. What an eye-opener. Well right away I knew I had problems. My husband was an elder, we had book study in our home, my mother and father were jws as well as extended family. To make a long story short, we are all out including my best friend! It has been a very difficult experience, but it does get easier as time goes by. That's all for now, I look forward to posting in the future.