Beck_Melbourne

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Posts by Beck_Melbourne

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  12

  Mean or just obedient

  by Debz in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  was thinking bout xmas and all just recently when i wondered if anyone has had my experience of `meanness`..we all know that xmas, birthdays and easter are outta bounds for jw`s and when my parents started to study (when i was 8) we were told that although xmas`s etc would`nt be the same it would be made up for during the year - guess what it never was!.

  now being english folks and all i know they can be inclined to be a bit sparing on the pennies but hell are they mean....no way known do they go outta their way to give anyone a gift for anything!

  i don`t think this is a good way to live for anyone - it teaches people to be mean hearted and is not a sign of love...i think!

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  Beck_Melbourne

  I must say I envy you Debz...I never had a single xmas being a third generation dubbie kid. I was born into a family that never celebrated xmas and it was the norm...I never knew any other way. My parents used to try and compensate by taking us out for dinner on their wedding anniversary...and we would sometimes get gifts throughout the year...not that often I might add. I don't ever remember getting a wrapped gift with all the pretty bows and ribbons etc that often....although my mother has always been generous with my kids and has always bought them presents. The idea of wrapping things up and surprising us never crossed our mother's mind....she's much too lazy for that....but she has expressed some kindness over the years.

  I am making up for a lot of lost years now though....I do it more for me than for the kids....there's so much I never had or experienced and I want my kids to have some of the normal things in life.

  ~Beck~
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  A Chinese XMAS Tale

  by PopeOfEruke in

  1. social
  2. humour

  on a beautiful december evening, huan cho and his girlfriend jung lee, were sitting on the ocean shore.. overhead was a romantic full moon.

  huan cho said, "hey baby, lets play weeweechu.

  let s just look at the moon," said jung lee.

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  Beck_Melbourne

  Vat wus velly velly farnie...you velly farnie boy pope.

  For you is chinese proverbs:

  Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

  Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

  Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.

  When lady say `no she mean `perhaps when she say `perhaps she mean `yes but when she say `yes, she not a lady.

  Man who run in front of car get tired.

  Man who run behind car get exhausted.

  When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read.

  Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.

  Television never replace old reliable key hole.

  Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy...

  Laziest man in world who marry widow with six children.

  Man with one chopstick go hungry.

  Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.

  Girl who do back spring on bedspring have offspring next spring.
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  12

  Weddings Kiwi Style

  by Gizmo in

  1. social
  2. humour

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  Beck_Melbourne

  Here's one for your team elderrepents...cos it looks like you could use some help

  An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

  Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?"

  New Zealander: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

  Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"

  Dog: "Doin' alright."

  New Zealander: (extreme look of shock)

  Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?", pointing at New Zealander

  Dog: "Yep"

  Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

  Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

  New Zealander: (look of disbelief)

  Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

  New Zealander: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think."

  Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

  Horse: "Cool."

  New Zealander: (extreme look of shock)

  Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at New Zealander)

  Horse: "Yep"

  Ventriloquist: "How's he treat you?"

  Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

  New Zealander: (total look of amazement)

  Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

  New Zealander: "The sheep's a liar.
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  12

  Weddings Kiwi Style

  by Gizmo in

  1. social
  2. humour

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  Beck_Melbourne

  R O F L M A O

  An Englishman, an Irishman, an Australian and a New Zealander were in a plane, getting ready to make their first parachute jump. The Englishman's exit was spectacular; he leapt out of the plane with the cry "I am doing this for my country.....". The Irishman leapt out immediately afterwards, calling out the same words. Then the New Zealander ripped the parachute off the Australian, pushed him out of the plane and cried "I'm doing this for my country.....".

  An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited a doctor to find out how to go about this. "Well" said the doctor, "this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain". "That's OK" said the Englishman. "I've always wanted to be Irish and I'm prepared to take the risk". The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. "I'm so terribly sorry!!" the doctor said. "Instead of removing half the brain, I've taken the whole brain out". The patient replied, "No worries, mate!!"

  Edited by - beck_melbourne on 17 December 2002 1:15:46
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  12

  Weddings Kiwi Style

  by Gizmo in

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  Beck_Melbourne

  LOL That was funny...no sheep in that one mind you!

  I thought this was cute - for city folk who don't like getting their feet dirty...or for those who don't own gumboots

  What aussie lads want for xmas

  What aussie dad's want for xmas
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  12

  Weddings Kiwi Style

  by Gizmo in

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  Beck_Melbourne

  Yeah that's my kinda humour....have you got anymore???
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  12

  Weddings Kiwi Style

  by Gizmo in

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  Beck_Melbourne

  ROFLMAO

  I like that...except...isn't the 'Outback' somewhere in Australia? Kiwi style indeed...I think NOT!! LOL

  ~Beck~
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  21

  I've never lived

  by DanTheMan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  been doing a lot of reflecting lately, about my life and this crazy world.. fear has dominated my life.

  i have barely lived because of it.

  i just exist, that's about it.. when i was growing up, it was bullies at school.

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  Beck_Melbourne

  (((dantheman)))

  Do not despair...you have your health and the ability to live life in a most rewarding way.

  It is not until you have experienced something traumatic that you realise how precious life is...when the ability to live a full life is threatened...only then do you wish you could have had the opportunity to do things differently.

  You are lucky Dan, you have the opportunity to live a full life...take hold of it...and enjoy it...and live your life with no regrets.

  Don't let fear of what could or could not happen cloud your dreams. First of all, you can address each and every one of your fears you've mentioned:

  1. Fear of never experiencing the love of a woman.
  Get on the internet, download ICQ or other chat programs...join a dating agency...don't rush, take your time...and be choosey

  2. Fear of terrorists nuking American cities and destroying life as we know it in the west.
  Don't waste your life worrying about it...keep working and generating income, go on holidays...buy a new car...carry on living...no matter what.

  3. Fear of poor urban blacks, a culture I don't understand that I live right in the middle of.
  Move to another neighbourhood if you feel seriously threatened. If not, take up a self defence course. Or, move to Australia

  4. Fear of my family dying.
  I can relate to this fear. Be prepared to accept that life is about thrills and spills...sometimes bad things happen. For as long as your loved ones are alive and well, be good to them...always tell them you love them...and understand that some things are out of your control.

  I've spent the past 17 years of my life waiting for the world to go completely mad.

  Now it is time for you to spend the next 17 years devoted to repairing the damage from the last 17 years. If you were waiting for 17 years...then you wasted 17 precious years of your precious life. Stop waiting...start living.

  Hugs

  ~Beck~

  Edited by - beck_melbourne on 16 December 2002 22:18:27
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  37

  Evil CO's wives

  by PopeOfEruke in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  does anyone remember particularly evil wives of circuit overseers?.

  i remember one, a little chinese "lady" known as norma.

  absolutely hated kids.

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  Beck_Melbourne

  I never knew any evil or anal CO's wives...all the ones I met were quiet women who reminded me of puppies who had been beaten into submission.

  I did know plenty of elder's wives who were touched with a bit of arrogance...they fancied themselves as a few steps up the ladder closer to Jehovah then the rest of the congregation.

  ~Beck~
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  32

  JW.com Book Club

  by Surreptitious in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  i just finished re-reading "a brave new world".

  have you read it?

  if so, any thoughts?.

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  Beck_Melbourne

  Hey now this could be fun...you want me to mail it to you when I am done Beck????...

  Or

  I could just get my own copy, and we could exchange ideas and thoughts on our favourite chapters ...and then the fun begins

  ~Beck~