I usually try and talk to someone i trust. Or if not real serious, like mentioned before just get busy doing something. Sometimes just cleaning the house helps you work it out and feel better. Sometimes a change scenery is nice. If at work, make sure and go out for lunch. If at home, take a walk, a drive, go get ice cream. Something like that. But if it isn't going away no matter what, seek professional help. Don't let it go too long.
karategirl
JoinedPosts by karategirl
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33
What Do You Do When You Get The "Blues"???
by minimus inevery once in a while we all get the blues.
we start overthinking, overanalyzing----we dwell on negatives.
what do you do to get out of this frame of mind?
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10
can't get close
by karategirl inhaving been taught that dating is only when you are ready for a marriage mate and then you get married forever, i was so quick to commit.
almost got married after 6 months to the first boyfriend i ever had when i was 18, a jw of course.
then i saw the light and didn't do it.
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karategirl
Thanks everyone. Just want to clarify that i don't jump in bed all the time with everyone I meet. (at least not since my early twenties, ha!ha!) Also I am in therapy and it seems to be helping. Over the last four years I have finally learned my own self worth and that I don't have to settle. I am finally happy with being me and actually very glad to be single. Just fear that I may never feel love again and go through life without ever having that soulmate companion thing. Maybe I am more afraid that it doesn't really exist. Not sure, anyway thanks guys. karategirl
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can't get close
by karategirl inhaving been taught that dating is only when you are ready for a marriage mate and then you get married forever, i was so quick to commit.
almost got married after 6 months to the first boyfriend i ever had when i was 18, a jw of course.
then i saw the light and didn't do it.
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karategirl
having been taught that dating is only when you are ready for a marriage mate and then you get married forever, I was so quick to commit. almost got married after 6 months to the first boyfriend I ever had when I was 18, a jw of course. then i saw the light and didn't do it. left the truth a little later and went crazy. partied and had some escapades. it was great, then I crashed. wanted commitment, as i had been taught. unfortunately, an abusive and cruel man saw that and pounced. six years of hell ensued.
now, been single for four years and have managed to have only short term sexual partners. no matter how hard i try, i cannot feel anything for anyone. only lust. tried to date one guy for about three months and the whole time i felt suffocated and anxious. couldn't wait for him to leave, didn't even care if he didn't call. was actually relieved when i found somthing that was bad enough to dump him.
the ironic catch, i still just want a healthy and committed relationship but i am so disillusioned about what is healthy and what is love and whether I am capable of it. i mean growing up around jw marriages and then experiencing mine doesn't leave much room to know. still don't know anyone in a healthy relationship. sad
does anyone else have this problem?
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The most frustrating, sad thing in the world
by Soledad ini just learned that an ex-cowoker of mine became engaged to her abusive boyfriend.
she is probably one of the brightest, prettiest people i have ever known--but she doesn't believe that because her boyfriend would rather have her believe she is dumb, ugly and nothing at all without him.
i am so sad for this girl.. she was in college last year and he made her give it up.
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karategirl
Good for you to tell her mom. just like everyone has said it takes her wanting to be gone before she will stay gone. if that makes sense. Basically, you can call the police, get someone to rough him up, whatever, she will just go right back until she is ready. give her a book as was suggested. if she can't hide something like that, a pamphlet on the signs of an abuser or codependency. she can read it quick and get rid of it.
tell her, "you can say whatever you want and make excuses, but we both know it is not right and that you deserve better. love shouldn't hit you. if he really loves you he wouldn't hurt you. but you are the one that has to live your life and when you are good and tired and can't take it anymore I am here. no one can force you but there will come a time when you will go through whatever you need to in order to finally have had enough, hopefully you will live through it. if so, call me and I will be there, no questions asked, any time day or night. but you have to be ready for that step."
also encourage her to wait having children.
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THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS THING SOMEBODY TOLD YOU
by minimus inwhat's the most outrageous thing that you were personally told ,while in the organization??
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karategirl
another one is being told that apostates were worse than goats because they know better. that those that commit the unforgiveable sin of speaking directly against Jehovah or the Organization would never receive God's forgiveness.
Anyone who dies and before or during Armageddon would no longer be married and would be free to marry who they wanted. and no one would be allowed to marry or remarry during the Great Tribulation until we saw who survived and who was resurrected. (me and my teenage friends discussed how we hoped we were married before armageddon came because it would suck to have to wait 1000 years to have sex)
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THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS THING SOMEBODY TOLD YOU
by minimus inwhat's the most outrageous thing that you were personally told ,while in the organization??
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karategirl
hey Crystal did you hear the story about the boy that brougth a smurf to a meeting and it jumped out of his lap during a talk and ran out of the KH? I am ashamed to say I believed it.
When a marriage went bad being told by elders and pioneers that if only they had chosen a more spiritual mate this wouldn't have happened. That's what you get for not looking harder.
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Give the JW experience a BOOK title.
by qwerty inpinching following on fromprestons idea of the movie theme i'll start...................... pride and prejudice.
wuthering brooklyn heights.
the awakening.
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karategirl
Ten Little Bethelites by Agatha Christian
Children of the Borg
The Pokey little Elder
A series: All Elders Great and Small, All things Unwise and Horrible, All things Dark and Hypocritical, The Governing Body Made Them All
The Tales of Two Magazines (Watchtower and AWAKE)
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Should We Vote?
by patio34 init didn't seem to me this should be on the politics forum as it's not about a politician, lol.
anyway, it seemed worthy of consideration by all.. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++.
i think this makes a very good point that all of us ladies should remember.
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karategirl
I am ashamed to say this is my first presidential election, voted locally before. Been out ten years and still had the same complacent attitude of the dubs. Didn't even watch the news for years (although partly because I was afraid of "Peace and Security" being declared). I am even going to have my friend take a picture of me at the polls. it may sound goofy but as an ex-dub and a woman it is so important.
thirdpartygirl: witnesses do not vote or support any man made governments because supposedly they support god's kingdom only and are waiting for the day when his kingdom will rule the Earth directly through his son Jesus Christ. so, they as the scripture, which I may have wrong, says, "give Ceasar's things to Ceasar but God's things to God." meaning pay your taxes and follow the rules but do not violate your faith in God. They feel that God allows man's governments to remain in order to have order and avoid chaos but he will remove them when Armageddon comes. that's it in a nutshell.
can't believe I remembered that much. Anyone, please correct me if I got anything wrong. very rusty with the Bible.
karategirl
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20
my emotions are a roller coaster
by karategirl inwhen i first got on this site a few days ago i felt so much relief and joy.
i was even trying to help others right away because i have been out for ten years already.
now i am finding that other people's comments and memories are bringing up so many of my own that i have suppressed for years.
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karategirl
Thank you so much everyone. Someone in chat last night warned me of the personal info. never really thought about it since I only have a very distant relative still in. all of my sibblings have left now and I have absolutely no tie with any dubs. don't even live in a town where I attended a congregation. Still good info to know.
I think the anonymity and the similarity of views just made me gush. For years I just didn't think about my childhood or talk about it much to anyone. I moved around a lot after leaving and never really got close to many people. Plus facing the truth about the "truth" meant admitting my mother, whose death propelled me towards being DF'd, was wrong. Now I am in a good place in life. Stopped running, formed a "family" and support system, going through therapy, living more healthy. Just trying to regain myself. The anger began to build as I began to confront it. Then it got to where most around me had comprehended all that they could. I needed to talk more and understand more. Then my sister sent me here.
I'm sure I will plateau and chill after awhile. Thanks for bearing with me.
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my emotions are a roller coaster
by karategirl inwhen i first got on this site a few days ago i felt so much relief and joy.
i was even trying to help others right away because i have been out for ten years already.
now i am finding that other people's comments and memories are bringing up so many of my own that i have suppressed for years.
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karategirl
when i first got on this site a few days ago i felt so much relief and joy. I was even trying to help others right away because I have been out for ten years already. Now I am finding that other people's comments and memories are bringing up so many of my own that I have suppressed for years. this is just like being in group therapy all over again. relief, pain, happiness, comraderie all in one. I feel that I am saying way too much about myself. not sure if it is ok to be so open. especially about my family. I really don't know you guys. yet at the same time i can't seem to log off. i was late for work today because i stayed on so late last night.
thanks