Posts by AlmostAtheist

40

Crazy JW Urban Legends

by Wordly Andre in

jw
friends

ok its time to recount all your favorite crazy jw urban legends, ill start i remember this one was told to me after i had left the org, there was a newly married couple, they were good little dubs, evil mother in law lived with them, she did not want to convert or study, well time went on they had a baby, and mother in law was into some spiritual stuff, unknown to jw mommy and daddy.

anyway jw mommy wakes up one night to find little baby dub sitting inside the fish tank with most of the water taken out and there was some kind of evil spirit present, mommy dub yells out jemimas name and breaks free with baby dub.

evil mother in law is asked to leave their happy home.

AlmostAtheist

A sly sister was wanting to test her beau's newly-acquired love of Jehovah and all things spiritual. So she says one day, "I'm sick of all of this field service. I say we quit!" and she hurls her bookbag into the lake. He says, "Oh thank God! I only did this because you did!" He follows suit and tosses his bag.

She now knows he isn't a True Christian(tm) so she breaks it off with him.

(And goes on to marry an elder that beats her, and is also a pedophile. Though I don't think that part is generally mentioned!)

Dave

40

EXCERPT from my novel: I WEPT BY THE WATERS OF BABYLON

by Terry in

jw
friends

excerpt from novel:.

mathis, shaking like a landed fish, stood beside a crooked tree.

danny found him there.. "you hurt?

AlmostAtheist

Terry, I understand what you mean. You can't write a "JW" book with the intent of getting wide general distribution. You write it for yourself, secondarily for the ex-jw community. That's about it.

If one person reads and appreciates it, how will that make you feel?

If one person comes back and says, "Man, I never thought about [x] before, but then I read your book and I got it", what will that do for you?

It couldn't hurt to make the rounds of publishers. Then if there are no takers, LuLu it. If nothing else, you've captured your thoughts. Now set them free and see where they go.

Dave

31

Are we in some sort of "LAST DAYS"?

by Open mind in

i'm not talking in the biblical sense necessarily.

you can argue scriptural "last days" until you're blue in the face.

(jcanon & obves make that clear on at least a weekly basis.).

AlmostAtheist

Yeah, just not seeing "last days". Lots of changes, all the time changes. But no "end".

Until the asteroid strike, of course.

Dave

8

WHY DON'T JWS HAVE PRAYER LINES?

by badboy in

jw
friends

why don't they,like some churches do?

AlmostAtheist

I think BB is referring to those deals where I find out about a member that's sick, so I call you, and you call mary, and she calls tom, and so on, so everybody finds out about it and prays for whoever is sick. My mom's church has something like that.

The Bible encourages praying for one another -- which is one of the things that made me lose my faith, actually -- so it does seem odd that JW's don't do it.

The best answer I have is built into your question. They don't do it because the other churches do.

Dave

36

The longest prayer ever ...

by Vivamus in

jw
friends

the memory of this just popped back into my mind.. i was at a 3 day congress, and the ending prayer was said by this really old brother.

he was one of the survivors of wo ii concentration camps were he was put for being a jw.. anyway, the poor man started his prayer with thanking jah, and then he recalled every piece and play of the three day congress.

i bet the man had written his prayer on paper and rehersed it each day adding a new 15 minutes to it ... he even mentioned a part where a witness lady replayed an incident on the street - she gave witness to by-standers - and one of the people she talked to had a stuffed dog.

AlmostAtheist

My favorites were the ones where the brother was actually talking to us, not Jehovah. "Help us to turn in on our time, and help us to not chew gum in the hall, and help us to come saturday and mow the lawn...."

Sometimes they would even screw it up and leave off the "help us". C'mon guys, at least APPEAR to be putting on appearances!

Dave

49

CRIPES!!! The PO and CO saw my Chrismas Tree

by bluesapphire in

jw
friends

wonderful!

my husband decides not to decorate the house since my stupid sister asked the co of her congregation to call on us and he's been coming by on a casual basis.. well the co is in town so my husband says, "i'm not doing the house.

only the inside.

AlmostAtheist

WOW - I think HorribleLife wins this one! Nicely played!

Dave

36

The longest prayer ever ...

by Vivamus in

jw
friends

the memory of this just popped back into my mind.. i was at a 3 day congress, and the ending prayer was said by this really old brother.

he was one of the survivors of wo ii concentration camps were he was put for being a jw.. anyway, the poor man started his prayer with thanking jah, and then he recalled every piece and play of the three day congress.

i bet the man had written his prayer on paper and rehersed it each day adding a new 15 minutes to it ... he even mentioned a part where a witness lady replayed an incident on the street - she gave witness to by-standers - and one of the people she talked to had a stuffed dog.

AlmostAtheist

Sadly, I recall GIVING a stupidly long prayer like that. It was one of those emotional meetings and I got all caught up in it. I remember having several people praise me after the meeting for it. Which is probably exactly the opposite of what they were really thinking.

Funny how often we encourage the wrong behavior in people!

I've seen people standing for a prayer that sat down when it got too lengthy.

Dave

49

CRIPES!!! The PO and CO saw my Chrismas Tree

by bluesapphire in

jw
friends

wonderful!

my husband decides not to decorate the house since my stupid sister asked the co of her congregation to call on us and he's been coming by on a casual basis.. well the co is in town so my husband says, "i'm not doing the house.

only the inside.