After 40 years of guarding our associations, and seeking friends only among Jehovah's loyal ones. at the same time avoiding family gatherings - wicked birthday and christmas parties, we are now happily out of the cult, not df'd or da'd. The result - the "loyal ones" are now shunning us, and the worldly family are welcoming us back into the fold as if nothing had happened. There must be a lesson somewhere.
Belmont
JoinedPosts by Belmont
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19
Reestablishing family ties with non-Witnesses
by cyberguy inas most of you folks know, non-witness family members are treated almost the same way as jw's treat disfellowshipped people.
after leaving the borg, fully or partially, has anyone had good results in reestablishing relationships with non-witnesses family relatives?
i've got over a dozen cousins that i'd like to have a relationship with once again, but i'm not sure the best way to break-the-ice.
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27
Who on this board?
by Brummie ini'm at work, which explains why i'm sitting at this ere pc doin nuthin!
how many exjws have you met since leaving the wt?.
i've met about 75-90 in england, and roughly 500 all together...and then there's a few i've corresponded with who i havent met.
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Belmont
Hi Brummie
We are xjws living in Somerset. Will email you.
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Belmont
Sorry about the double portion of eggs. Am I right?
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Belmont
Scrambled eggs.
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Belmont
Scrambled eggs.
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Email from a Witness about the site
by Simon inwould just like to say that i have spent hours reading material on this web site.
just would like to also say that i am still one of jehovah's witnesses.
if jehovah's witnesses are truly distructive and to familys as well then i would like to know please, how on earth is the association of brothers going to stay together, if it is really destructive?
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Belmont
What about the "bad experience" of civilian service? J.W's suffered and died for that law which was promulgated by the governing body for many years, and then quietly abandoned. Not only did the g.b. not admit their bloodguilt, but blamed the victims for their own "Over-strict" interpretation. They did the same with 1975 and "generation" - the list is endless. The only way you can be a happy j.w. is to live in a state of constant denial - very difficult unless you have the memory of a goldfish.
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I'm back from my hols now...
by meat pie ini just got back and i wanted to say thanks to eman and her ladyship for a really great bbq.
it was fun meeting lots of lovely people too.
now i've got a lot of catching up to do...ps> if anyone's got any pictures of me they can put them up i don't mind.
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Belmont
Hi meat pie - it was good to meet you at the bbq and share experiences. If you're down this way again, maybe we can get together.
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English elder logs in.
by caspian inhi everyone.. my name is caspian, i am an elder in a congregation in england.. i have been reading this forum for about 12 months, never having the confidence to log in.. however after all the information that has come to light in the recent weeks, i feel that i need to start coming to terms with the crisis that i now feel.. i am a third gen jw, and been an elder for 15 years, my family whom i love dearly are all naive fully committed jw's.. please if any current or ex elders in a similar situation care to make any good advice.
please help.. sincere regards.
cas
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Belmont
Hi Caspian and welcome. We are in the UK and my husband was an elder from the beginning of the arrangement until 1999 when we faded away. We had misgivings over a number of years, but swallowed them until they became indigestible. We came out by researching the society's literature (what a revelation!), reading Ray Franz's books, and lurking on this website. We are not df'd or da'd, and would never, ever go back. Be careful.
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A big thankyou to Englishman and her ladyship
by ballistic in.
i just want to thank englishman for laying on this weekends events (and to trucker for putting us up).
i also want to say what an amazing experience meeting up with other board members for the first time was.. if any of you others get the chance to meet up in the future, i highly recommend it as an unforgettable experience.. no doubt there will be countless pictures coming over the next few days!!
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Belmont
Many many thanks to Englishman and Chris for opening up their home to us all. It was a wonderful occasion and an unforgettable experience to put faces to the names. We had a really great time.
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another newbie
by desertflower inguess i've been lurking long enough.
been about 2 yrs or longer.. take a lot of nerve for the first post.my husband and i both left.
together although he knew long before i did.
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Belmont
Hello, desert flower, your comments struck a chord. I'm an avid lurker here, and an occasional poster. My husband and I were baptised in 1959 and 1961, and have been out about 2 years. You're right, leaving is hard because of family and friend networks, and also having to admit to one's own foolishness. It's much easier to stay and keep quiet, and I know a few who are doing just that. However, the peace of mind that comes from following one's conscience is wonderful.
As for shunning, the few that do it to us only confirm how right we were to leave the cult. Making new friends is difficult because we've spent so long acting as "alien residents", that now we're almost like refugees, starting from scratch.
So - lots of fellow feeling from us, and hope all goes well with you.