Bendrr

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Posts by Bendrr

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  22

  JW's: Animals In The Bedroom.

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just wondering......!.

  a recent survey suggested that 70% of couples with pets insisted that their pet was removed from the bedroom before they indulged in sexual activity.

  the remaining 30% didn't mind in the least if they were observed by rover or tiddles.

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  Bendrr

  No, Alan, it goes like this: "your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
  mike.

  "Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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  23

  Why Mainstreaming Will Win and Reform Won't

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sometimes change takes place over many years, in such a subtle.

  and quiet way that those involved may not even discern that a. trend is forming.

  as with social security and retirement issues,.

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  Bendrr

  Now you're making me wish I had continued making some meetings and conventions to keep up with the changes! My parents who are still JW keep in touch but don't discuss anything teaching-wise.
  This post on reform vs. mainstreaming caught my interest. Based on what I have read in my short time here on this board, I think the term 'reform' is closer to the mark than 'mainstreaming' though in this case they really mean the same thing. Reform is a better term since over time certain doctrines and practices can be "re-formed".
  The Empire will never be "mainstream". They will always have to maintain their "aboveness" in the eyes of the rank-and-file.
  As far as subtle reforming over time, I welcome it. I have tried to imagine what changes could happen.
  Disfellowshipping: Policy gradually softens. New Light! If a JW married to a DF'd one isn't required to shun then neither should be the rest of the family; parents, children, grandparents, etc. Then close friends (the scripture about King David and Johnathan "a friend closer than a brother") can associate. Finally it merely means you can't go in service, comment at meetings, or have any organizational duty. Shunning will end up being left up to consciences, and there will always be hardliners at every level to be nasty to the miscreants.
  Higher Education: How many of the six million dubs are children? The old guys in Brooklyn are NOT stupid. The money in the contribution box comes from those that can spare it. The better job one has, the more money they can spare for the box. In many areas it is already perfectly acceptable to get some sort of post-secondary education and in fact it is considered something to be praised. There may end up being technical training on a large scale for Bethelites at secular schools paid for by The Empire to attract new Bethelites.
  Pioneers will probably end up being just "Pioneer" instead of "Regular" and "Auxiliary" with a much more reasonable quota like 40 or 50 hours a month.
  Or maybe the term will be done away with whatsoever, as it glorifies a person and not Jehovah.
  If a publisher misses a month of field service, they can always go out the next month; no more use of the term "irregular".
  There will always be the moral doctrines. Sex only between a married man and woman and that little list of "can't-do's". Never a JW tobacco user, but drink all you want.
  They may end up using modern media to get the message out sooner than later. With 5000 cable channels for everything from cooking to golf there WILL end up being some sort of JW broadcast.
  I really hope that they start reaching out to their young people like mainstream religion does. That would be the biggest reform of all.
  mike.

  "Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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  14

  You Have Got To Read This ! Comments Please?

  by Big Jim in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the mormons.

  jehovah's witnesses.

  are the same organisation.

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  Bendrr

  So when do we get to the part about "black helicopters" at Watchtower Farms?
  I have to tell you now, I know it for a fact to be all TRUE!!!!
  When I was 16, I was a summer worker for a week at WT farms. Being a good little dub, my sponsors gave me the "other" tour. Oh boy I can't wait to tell this story!
  If you go in the auto repair shop at WT farms, place a 1972 Toyota Hi-Lux truck's brake drum on the brake lathe backwards and turn on the lathe, a secret door opens to an elevator that goes down.
  That elevator takes you to their massive underground facility which stretches to the Ohio border and houses 8 million personnel.
  They have a military training center where the TSF (Theocratic Security Force) trains with the latest equipment and techniques.
  The hanger houses an impressive air force of black helicopters and jet fighters with technology adapted from the 83 alien craft the JW's have captured over the years. (ever wonder where all those crashed UFO's went?))
  The computer center is a super-powered internet surveillance operation that captures every message sent by and about jw's and apostates. It even uses alien technology to view apostates through their computer monitors, televisions, and microwave ovens.
  I gotta go now, I keep hearing helicopters flying low over my apartment. They're black ones with no markings. Wait, someone's at the do

  "Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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  25

  No Nookies In Nero's!

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i must be honest here, one of the main reasons that i chose to depart the jws was so that i could have more sex.

  actually, thats not quite true, when i say have more sex, i really mean to say have sex with more girls.

  it feels so good to be honest, doesnt it?

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  Bendrr

  Maybe it was the bell-bottoms that turned the chicks off, dude.
  Well, hey what do I know?
  I laughed at your post because I always felt the same way. I remember "THE DANGERS OF WORLDLY WOMEN" so well! If a "worldly" woman was friendly to you in any way it only meant she wanted to honk your bobo.
  mike.

  "Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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  21

  Danny! Seafood!

  by Bendrr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey dude!

  another cooking post for you.. remember i'm still learning the art.. i bought a swordfish steak today and broiled it.

  yum!.

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  Bendrr

  Sushi is on my list to try. Maybe if I like it, I'll learn to cook it.
  Great mexican restaurants here now.
  Ever try the Indian restaurants in Atlanta? I used to go to one. Wonderful food and they let me drink beer with dinner when I was only 19.

  "Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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  7

  Sith? Customized Titles For All!!!

  by Bendrr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey simon:.

  i was thinking about the title given to fredhall instead of jedi member.. maybe some other folks would like some title other than jedi too.. over a few beers and in the interest of diversity, i came up with a few.. 1. vulcan.

  2. space ranger.

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  Bendrr

  Caped Crusader
  Medicine Woman
  Big old hairy, knuckle draggin, nose-pickin, hee-haw-lookin pervert
  (the sequel to I Know What You Did Last Summer): I Still Know What You Did Summer Before Last
  <member> Beyond Thunderdome
  New and Improved <member> With Color-Safe Bleach!
  <member>OL 6.0, the Internet Just Got Better!
  Blue Man Group Member
  Parrot Head
  Publishers' Clearinghouse Sweepstakes Winner
  <member> Banzai, Across the 8th Dimension
  "Who was that masked man, anyway?"
  Dude

  mike.

  "Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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  7

  Sith? Customized Titles For All!!!

  by Bendrr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey simon:.

  i was thinking about the title given to fredhall instead of jedi member.. maybe some other folks would like some title other than jedi too.. over a few beers and in the interest of diversity, i came up with a few.. 1. vulcan.

  2. space ranger.

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  Bendrr

  Hey Simon:
  I was thinking about the title given to FredHall instead of Jedi Member.
  Maybe some other folks would like some title other than Jedi too.
  Over a few beers and in the interest of diversity, I came up with a few.
  1. Vulcan
  2. Space Ranger
  3. Earnheardt
  4. Ditka
  5. Ditto-Head
  6. Dead-Head
  7. <member>, 007
  8. <member>, Texas Ranger
  9. Dirty <member> Callahan
  10. Minister of Silly Walks

  Just a thought.
  mike.

  Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed,
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  21

  Danny! Seafood!

  by Bendrr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey dude!

  another cooking post for you.. remember i'm still learning the art.. i bought a swordfish steak today and broiled it.

  yum!.

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  Bendrr

  Just think, in some countries they probably cook the banana spider with the fish. Tender on the outside, flaky on the inside.
  YUCK!
  mike.

  Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed,
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  21

  Danny! Seafood!

  by Bendrr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey dude!

  another cooking post for you.. remember i'm still learning the art.. i bought a swordfish steak today and broiled it.

  yum!.

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  Bendrr

  Dumpster sized bbq pit? Dang! How big was the keg?
  I quit the married women thing, dude. You get one like I did with "snakes in her head" and learn your lesson.
  mike.

  Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed,
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  6

  Jesus SWAT Teams

  by Kent in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there will always be enough idiots around to keep the christian swat teams running :) .

  yakki da.

  kent.

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  Bendrr

  I thought the Christian Womens' Wrestling banner was pretty funny.
  It would make a pretty cool tee shirt.
  (especially in Georgia!)
  mike.

  Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed,