Posts by Bendrr

Now don't get me wrong here folks, I don't have anything against our friends from India. Far from it. There's a whole lot of Indians who found some opportunity over here and came over and are busting their asses to reach some success. Hey that's America after all. Come on over, that's our motto, just don't bring a bomb on the plane or you'll find it shoved up your

Anyway.

What was I getting at?

Oh yeah.

Let the market call the shots here.

No one wants to take a frustrating problem to someone who can barely speak, let alone understand, the English language. For instance. I have, as probably many of you here, called tech support or customer service numbers only to reach someone who can only respond in an indecipherable series of consonants making us wonder just what their jaw muscles look like. Now if you're like me, you immediately escalate the call to someone who also uses vowels.

Or maybe it was your local pharmacy. Like mine a couple of weeks ago. My doctor called in my prescription. I've used that pharmacy for some time now. In fact, everyone at that Kroger knows me.....EVERYONE. But does Mr. [unpronounceable] Patel? Oh no! My name wasn't Patel, Singh, or any of the other five last names used by the one billion Indians so it blew his mind. Same thing happened to a coworker of mine and as a matter of fact, since Mr. Patel has begun his soon to be short-lived career at the Zebulon Road Kroger Pharmacy the whole thing has turned into one colossal charlie-foxtrot.

Maybe this particular market is unique but it doesn't have to be. Mr. Patel will soon find himself relocated.

Corporate America may be a little down the curve from that Kroger but not too far.

As Sean Hannity says "let not your heart be troubled."

Besides. Have you ever ate Indian food? My god! If they all came over here and opened Indian restaurants (as opposed to fast food joints) you'd forget all about Chinese food.

Mike.

6

Forget "It's a Wonderful Life"!!!! (with audio)

by Bendrr in

jw
friends

first he brought you "how bin laden stole christmas".

now your old buddy bendrr brings you, in stereo where available, an update on an old christmas favorite.

20 years ago it ran over grandma.

Bendrr

First he brought you "How Bin Laden Stole Christmas".

Now your old buddy Bendrr brings you, in stereo where available, an update on an old Christmas favorite. 20 years ago it ran over Grandma. Now the reindeer is back for more. This time it's war!

Mike.

23

"IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE "ON TV TONIGHT NBC 8PM CST

by wednesday in

.it is on channel 5 (nbc) at 8pm cst.

i always watch this and have a joyful cry.

days gone by, happier times, simplier times.

Bendrr

Oh this is just freakin great! I take the time to post an original JWD christmas special and it takes backstage to of all things "It's a wonderful life". Ok the gloves are off now!

Mike. grrrrr!

17

How Bin Laden Stole Christmas

by Bendrr in

jw
friends

they'd sing!

and they'd sing!.

and they'd sing!

Bendrr

Every Afghan not Taliban liked
America a lot...
But Osama, who lived just north of
Kabul, Did NOT!

Osama hated America! And the whole
Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite
knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
Or maybe he was still a virgin and his turban was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his dick was two sizes too small.

But, Whatever the reason, turban, small pecker, or no honey,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the West,
and their freedom and money.
Staring down from his cave with a fanatical frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Woman down in Kabul now could read
And had GASP! jobs, which Allah said they didn't need.
"And they're not wearing burqas!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Christmas in my land! There's infidels here!"
Then he growled, with fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"

For,Tomorrow, he knew the Afghan girls and boys
Would wake bright and early to TV and toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Happiness! Noise!
That's one thing he hated!
The NOISE! HAPPINESS! NOISE!
Then the West and Middle East, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They'd share their petroleum and modern technology
Which was something Osama couldn't stand in the least!

And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Afghan in Kabul, and every G.I.,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And then they'd start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing!
And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more Osama thought of this Infidel-Christmas-Sing,
The more Osama thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"For years and years I've waged Jihad now"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!

...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
Osama GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" Osama laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santa Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Jihad trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like that infidel Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer..." Osama looked around.
But, no reindeer in the desert, there was none to be found.
Did that stop old Osama? No! Osama simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his camel, Muhammed. Then he took some red thread
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.

THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Muhammed.

Then Osama said, "Allah Ackbar!" And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Afghans Lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. Quiet sand filled the air.
All the kids were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Santa Bin Laden hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney. Not too tight a pinch.
Osama was skinny, the chimney was a cinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little kids stockings all hung in a row. "These
stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Gameboys! And Walkmans! Barbie Dolls! CD's!
Playstations! And videos! TV's! And PC's!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then Osama, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimbley!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the dad's beer!
He took the jello pudding! He took the ice cream!
He cleaned out that icebox of enough food for a year.
Why, that jerk even took their stash of Jim Beam!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned Osama, "I will stuff up the tree!"

And Osama grabbed the tree, and he started to push
When he heard a sound from behind that puckered his tush.

He turned around fast, and he saw guess Who?
George Bush two and an angry armed crew.

Osama had been caught by this infidel man
Who'd heard from a snitch of his nefarious plan.
He stared at Osama and said, "Hey You! Freeze!"
"Hands in the air! If you move you're swiss cheese!"

That old Osama wasn't so smart and so slick
The infidels had caught him and they'd caught him quick!
He stuttered and stammered, he begged and he pleaded,
He whined and he cried, and sobbed and entreated.

But Bush didn't buy it, he was in no mood to trifle!
And he and the soldiers raised their trusty rifles.
One fired then another, then three and four,
they emptied their magazines, then reloaded more.

And what happened then...
Well...in Kabul they say
That Osama bin Laden
got lead poisoning that day!

The end!

Merry Christmas y'all!!!

Mike.

16

Some stuff I wanted to say.

by joelbear in

metatron's post about the decline and fall of "the society" led me to want to post some snippets of my family's saga with "the truth".. my parents were taught witness doctrine by a man named jim jones.

he was threatened by mobs during wwii for being a witness and not being patriotic.

my parents met during wwii at an airplane factory before they were witnesses.

Bendrr

Hey Joel old buddy!

Drop me an email sometime. ([email protected])

You know, when you talk about the old-timer Witnesses, well you and I know some of the same people. I've got a lot more respect for the generations of Witnesses who saw the Great Depression and lived thru WW2 than the ones now. I'd rather have Drexel Weeks or Eddie Williams as elders if I were a Witness than the current crop of dumbasses herding the flock.

Mike.

24

How to change 1914

by Bendrr in

chances are this post will find it's way to the eyes of the spies in brooklyn but what the hell.

i'm here to help, even if it means sending a crate of ammo to the enemy.. as a rule i stay out of discussions of the empire's doctrinal issues.

not that i don't read them, i just usually don't have anything to add.

Bendrr

Yeah Nic I had that pointed out to me.

But since I haven't studied my Watchtower in oh about 11 years, well to be only 4 years off, I still get an A for effort right?

Besides, they missed it by 21 years and I only missed it by 4.

Mike.

24

How to change 1914

by Bendrr in

chances are this post will find it's way to the eyes of the spies in brooklyn but what the hell.

i'm here to help, even if it means sending a crate of ammo to the enemy.. as a rule i stay out of discussions of the empire's doctrinal issues.

not that i don't read them, i just usually don't have anything to add.

Bendrr

Chances are this post will find it's way to the eyes of the spies in Brooklyn but what the hell. I'm here to help, even if it means sending a crate of ammo to the enemy.

As a rule I stay out of discussions of the Empire's doctrinal issues. Not that I don't read them, I just usually don't have anything to add. Closed mouth, open mind and all that you know.

Usually.

An idea hit me yesterday though that I thought I'd bring up. And maybe this has already been put forth so if it has, well never mind then.

1914's calculations start with their belief that Jerusalem fell in 607 bc, right? History shows it didn't. It fell in 586 bc, 21 years later.

Oops! they were 21 years short of their target, which should have been 1935.

Now does that have to be a problem?

Not at all!

In 1935 (if I'm remembering correctly) at a big convention they adopted the name "Jehovah's Witnesses".

And it wasn't too long thereafter that WWII really got going.

Now here's the payoff. The "generation" can be adjusted to the one that witnessed the events of 1935, since even though they're dropping like flies as I type this there's still plenty of them left, and they can move Armageddon forward just a little bit and string the r&f along a little longer.

Damn I'm good!

Mike

10

Local child molester busted!

by Bendrr in

ok, so he's not a jw but this is one hell of a story.

i thought i'd share it.girl flees abductor.

by liz fabian.

Bendrr

Ok, so he's not a JW but this is one hell of a story. I thought I'd share it.

Girl flees abductor By Liz Fabian
Associated Press
A 12-year-old girl jumped from a moving pickup truck to escape a man who abducted her from her bus stop at Log Cabin Drive and Scotland Avenue, police said Tuesday.
A quick-thinking Bibb County school bus driver, Dorothy Lockette, had to slam on brakes to avoid hitting the girl, but she gave police the information they needed to arrest convicted child molester Marcus Ellis Forehand, 34, of Macon.
"She hit the street and rolled right in front of my bus, and my heart was in my mouth," said Lockette.
Lockette said she watched a man get out of the truck and try to catch the girl, but she ran to safety on Hillcrest Industrial Boulevard.
"You could just see the anger and frustration on his face. He looked me straight in my face," Lockette said.
As a bus driver, Lockette is trained to spot license plate numbers of automobiles that disobey bus stop signals.
She called police and reported the tag number and a description of the pickup and followed the man as he drove away.
"All I could think of was my children. What if it were one of mine?" said Lockette, mother of a grown child and foster mother to a half-dozen others.
"I was so angry I just wanted to follow that truck," she said.
Lockette said after she watched the man turn onto Napier Avenue, she returned to find the girl, who had run to a woman on the street.
"I said, 'Baby are you OK?' and she was so scared," Lockette said.
Precinct 3 police officers David Ingle, Clay Newsome and Zachary Self traced the Monroe County tag number 836 JJG to Northside Tire Co. on Northside Drive where they found a red 1996 Ford F-250 pickup and arrested Forehand, who is listed on the GBI's sex offender registry for a November 2000 child molestation conviction.
Forehand is being held in the Bibb County Law Enforcement Center on charges of kidnapping with bodily injury, child molestation and enticing a child for indecent purposes.
The girl, whose identity is not being released, scraped her hands and face while jumping from the truck. She was taken by ambulance to The Medical Center of Central Georgia, but no information was available about her condition Tuesday night.
She told Lockette the man got out of his truck at her bus stop, grabbed her, put her in the truck and drove away.
While in the truck, the man asked her to expose herself, the girl told police.
Lockette said she was relieved to hear Forehand was in custody.
"When they called us back and said they got him, I said, 'Thank you, Lord,' because what if someone's child wasn't coming home?" she said.

Can I get a "Hell yeah!" ?

I was listening to the local talk show this morning and they said the girl actually rolled under the bus! That's one brave kid!

I'll tell y'all something about justice down here. If it was the right cops that nabbed him, his ride to the L.E.C. was ANYTHING but comfortable and painless. And believe me, someone will make sure the other inmates know what he is.

Mike.

23

I'm sick and tired!

by Yerusalyim in

jw
friends

i caught the flu from my daughter inspite of my flu shot...my back aches...my chest is full...i'm worn out...i'm going to bed...see ya in the morning

Bendrr

Tamiflu, Yeru. Tamiflu.

I felt it coming on me so I called my doctor this morning and he called in a prescription for me for Tamiflu.

Cost me $80 tho since my insurance doesn't cover it. Bastards! They can expect a phone call come Monday.

Mike.