Posts by snbdye2000

6

Encouraged to read only the Old Testament?

by snbdye2000 in

some of you may recognize my name and my story - my husband has been studying with a jw for about a year now, off and on.

currently he claims that he is not going to read their books anymore and just read the bible on his own (yea!).

my question is in regards to his reading habits.

snbdye2000

Hello all,

Some of you may recognize my name and my story - my husband has been studying with a jw for about a year now, off and on. Currently he claims that he is not going to read their books anymore and just read the Bible on his own (Yea!)

My question is in regards to his reading habits. He seems to me to be completely consumed with only reading the Old Testament. He occasionally reads out of the New Testament, but very rarely. Only to pick up some little scripture or something. I have asked him over and over to read the New Testament. The other day he said he started with Matthew. Tonight he told me he only read the first couple of chapters and then started reading Kings or something. He says he has read the Old Testament completely through at least once..maybe twice now over the past few years. But has only skimmed the New Testament. I am wondering if this is encouraged by the jw's? It would make sense to me - because I believe if he reads the New Testament, he will come to a completely different viewpoint on who Jesus is and what his coming truly was. (Please dont blast me on this if you're not of the same beliefs I am....this is MY belief, and I think it fits )

I'm just curious if this is just some strange aversion he has to the NT, or if it is actually encouraged?

Thanks!

snbdye

17

Faithful and Discreet Slave "class"

by snbdye2000 in

i have a question as to who the wtbts teaches is the faithful and discreet slave.

i am not a jw, never have been.

my husband though is reading a lot of their books and such.

snbdye2000

Thanks everyone for all of your responses, I appreciate it a lot. Today was actually a very good day with my husband and I . He had the day off from work and we spent the better part of it discussing a lot of issues regarding the WTBTS. He says he does want to celebrate Christmas, that I can in fact have a tree up and buy presents, etc. He says he really enjoys it and since he's not completely convinced it's wrong, that he cant see not celebrating it. He said I brought up something weeks ago about him needing to read the JW books that really has had him thinking. In that conversation, I was arguing with him that he does not need the JW books to learn the Bible. He countered with the story about the ethiopian - word for word like his JW friend explained it to him. I told him that he was completely wrong - that in that story, the ethiopian only needed to understand that Jesus was the Messiah. Once he knew that, he was babtized and left on his own. No book studies, no nothing. Apparenly my husband has been studying about what I said and now believes I am correct. He told me tonight that it makes him wonder what else he has been led to believe that isnt right. He claims he is going to give back all the books and not meet with the jw anymore. That he just wants to read the Bible on his own and come up with his own beliefs. That in his reading, it will either confirm his beliefs or show him where he is wrong. I asked him what is driving him to believe them, and he said because it's the only religion he has found that believes like him...mainly that Jesus is not God, no eternal hell/punishment, and that we will not be going to heaven. He said he absolutely does not believe in the blood issue, does not believe there is a seperate annointed class and after showing him things you all have previously written, that there is not a seperate faithful and discreet slave. He does not believe any one religion has all the answers. So we'll see what happens. In past experience, he tends to get "convinced" by the jw at his work how wrong he is when he changes his mind about continuing to study with them. I'm hopefull he will stay true to the things he has said today and wont let this guy convince him otherwise. He thinks I just want to get him to believe like I do...and although I would like that, it's no big deal to me. I told him that I will respect his beliefs, if they are coming truly just from his heart, and not being "led" to believe those things because he wont put down the JW books. I told him that I will respect his beliefs, but that I will fight like mad to keep the jw's out of our lives. I asked him if he wouldnt do the same if I were to start studying with Mormons or some religion like that. He laughed and said yes he would. So for now there's a little peace in this house, and I'm not so scared of him becoming a jw. But I wont put down my guard, that's for sure. If I hadnt done that a year ago, we might not be where we are! But thanks to all of you, it helps having people to talk with that know what I'm talking about. Unless someone has been directly involved with this group, they just cant relate to any of this. I'll keep you all posted.

snbdye

17

Faithful and Discreet Slave "class"

by snbdye2000 in

i have a question as to who the wtbts teaches is the faithful and discreet slave.

i am not a jw, never have been.

my husband though is reading a lot of their books and such.

snbdye2000

under74: Forgive me, but I am totally lost on what you wrote. I've read it and re-read it and it makes no sense to me at all. Not sure what I'm missing here. Help me out some?

FreeWilly: Thank you for the advice. I have done a ton of research on this. I found out about my husband studying with a JW on his lunch breaks at work about a year ago. And it has caused a lot of trouble in our marriage. But I dont argue doctrine with him too much anymore like I used to. If we do get into an argument, it's usually because he wants to "prove" he's right and I'm wrong. I just dont go there very often. I can accept his beliefs, but I will never accept the WTBTS in my family. My husband has read Crisis of Conscience. For awhile there after he read it, he was I believe seeing the organization for what it really is. He even threw away all JW books he had received. But not very long afterwards I found a whole new set of books in his car. Not long ago he told me that at his meeting with his JW friend, my husband explained that he would never go along with the blood issue, or believe that there is a seperate "anointed class". They stopped meeting for awhile after that. I think they're starting up again now, because he's starting in on Christmas now - we've always celebrated it before, but now he thinks it's bad. I respect all of you who dont celebrate it, but I dont accept that I have to give it up now because my husband has decided so! He's very confused right now I think - I mean he celebrated Halloween, took our daughter trick-or-treating, celebrated Thanksgiving, even did all the shopping for it! But now says we cant have a tree in the house. Who knows though, maybe tomorrow it will be ok to have a tree. He flip-flops so much I cant keep up. Regardless, I will have my tree and celebration whether he likes it or not. I'm willing to buy a much smaller tree than in the past, but I wont just give it up. He did say he just wants to read the Bible and will give back the books - and wants to use a greek translation book to read along with it. Anyone know what I should get? He brought home a diaglott from his JW friend, but truthfully I dont trust anything this man hands out. I have never met the man, and have no desire to meet him. I understand what you are saying about meeting with them, but I just cant do it. As it stands, we dont discuss religion much, but I believe I have planted enough little seeds of doubt in his head to keep him from getting babtized. Only time will tell though. I am completely amazed though how badly he defends them and their changes in doctrine, etc. when he's never even been a member! He completely ignores all their false prophesies, old teachings, etc. I likened it all to a bad tree - like the Bible says, a good tree doesnt bare bad fruit - and all their flip-flops and such are bad fruit. So he told me the story about King David. Blows my mind. Well I'm rambling - thanks for sharing with me.

17

Faithful and Discreet Slave "class"

by snbdye2000 in

i have a question as to who the wtbts teaches is the faithful and discreet slave.

i am not a jw, never have been.

my husband though is reading a lot of their books and such.

snbdye2000

I have a question as to who the WTBTS teaches is the faithful and discreet slave. I am not a JW, never have been. My husband though is reading a lot of their books and such. We were arguing about something JW related the other day - I think Christmas, cant remember. Anyways, as usual it went in a hundred different directions. I brought up that I believe they teach that the faithful and discreet slave is the governing body or the WTBTS as a whole. He got really angry about that and said no way, that it represents any christian. I told him I didnt think that is what the JW's teach though and he got really angry and wants me to back up my words. I know I've glanced in some of these books he has and I'm sure I've read it in there. Can anyone help me out, or am I wrong on this? Oh - he did admit that they taught at one time that Russel (I think) was the f&ds, but that they dont anymore. Whenever I bring up flip-flops on doctrine he says he doesnt care what was taught a long time ago - that if it's not taught since about the year 2000, he doesnt care. Gave me a long speech about king David and how God left him in power even though he was doing wrong.....I have a hunch that he was given that particular speech by his JW friend he meets with after I brought up a bunch of stuff. Sound familiar to anyone? Thanks for clearing these things up for me.

27

Review: Draw Close to Jehovah Book

by Sirona in

i read the draw close to jehovah book because a jehovahs witness told me that it had some ?deep?

spiritual information in it.

the book appears, at first glance, to be all about knowing jehovah god and his attributes.

snbdye2000

This is wonderful, and I'll print out the stuff you write. I noticed my husband has this book now, just started reading it. He's not a JW, but is meeting with one on his lunch breaks and got it from him. Maybe the stuff you write will help me show him that they're not just innocent little books to help him understand the Bible.

7

Help needed with kids

by jwNOT in

i was raised in a very strict jw home.

some of it was downright abusive.

now i am a mother with 4 children.

snbdye2000

I have 4 kids also - aged 5 to 18 ! I think (yes think!) I have finally gotten it right after alot of bad years. I was great at letting my kids get me to a boiling point and then I would throw out the worst punishment I could think of - I didnt spank, just would randomly yell at the top of my lungs "YOUR GROUNDED FOR A MONTH!". We all knew that was a joke! They would basically laugh at me and my punishment, I would stomp off all angry and embarassed because I knew THEY knew it was all a joke and that I'd let them walk all over me in the long run. So I finally sat down and wrote out different punishments that were reasonable and that I knew would have an effect on them. I carried it in my pocket for a month or so and everytime one of them did something that needed to be punished, I would pull it out and pick an appropriate one. I did not back down! The biggest part was that I didnt ARGUE it with them! Before we would argue like mad...you know, because I wanted to be a reasonable parent and let them "understand why" I was punishing them. No more of that! I would tell them flat out what the punishment was...and I was very explicit that I would not discuss it another minute with them. If they argued it, I would say something like Did you not hear me the first time? If you bring it up again, I'm adding another punishment. After each of them earning themselves one or two more punishments on top of the original one, they stopped arguing with me after that. And I stuck by what I said! I'm happy to say that, other than with the 5 year old, I really dont have problems with my kids anymore. And what I get from the youngest is just purely due to her age. I think after all these years, I've finally gotten it! Yea! Good luck to you...remember, you're the parent!! I had to keep reminding myself of that.

5

Name ways in which JW's don't serve God

by JH in

malachi 3:18

then shall ye return, and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that serveth god and him that serveth him not.. this verse says that if we don't serve god, then we are wicked..... from a jw point of view, if we don't preach with them and follow whatever they do, then we are wicked.

but there are so many ways of serving god, that they don't even do themselves.

snbdye2000

The number one way I would say JW's don't serve God is that they dont love unconditionally. I am not, nor have ever been a JW. But my husband is reading their books and such. From my experiences in dealing with all the problems this is causing, it all comes down to his lack of love for me and MY beliefs. He thinks it is loving to express his newfound "truths", yet I see no love in acceptance of me and what I believe is the truth. From all the reading I have done about shunning, df'ing and such, no one can tell me there is any love in this cult. It's a word they throw out there, but in practice, is missing. Just my opinion, completely from the outside.

5

When Can I be Selfish??

by snbdye2000 in

jw
friends

i am not a jehovah's witness, nor have ever been.

i cannot even come close to relating what that is like.

however, my husband has been studying with them.

snbdye2000

I am not a Jehovah's Witness, nor have ever been. I cannot even come close to relating what that is like. However, my husband has been studying with them. He has come to the conclusion that they are wrong, just a man-made religion, and has read Crisis of Conscience which has him really upset. He actually said he will never join them. However, he is still meeting with the JW at his work to let him "explain" things such as false prophesy, etc. My main question is to those of you who are married to JW's. My husband is not "one of them" (yet) yet holds alot of their beliefs, which I do not share. I believe in the Trinity, Hell, that we all have a soul, etc. How do you live with someone whom you have no core beliefs with? I am told by people to just accept him for who he is. Remember what brought you two together in the first place....He says we can still talk about our day, how work was, etc. But I WANT a husband I can pray with. I WANT a husband I can go to church with. I WANT a husband who I can celebrate holidays with. I WANT a husband who will allow me to get angry without believing I am just possesed by Satan! I WANT a husband that cares that I've had to give up everything I USED to have before he "changed his mind" about what he believes. I DONT WANT a husband who says "Not my problem". Why is it OK for him to be selfish and get all this that HE wants, but I have to give up everything I want just for the sake of staying married to him because I love him?? Why do I have to try to remember why I fell in love with him for the first place? I'm tired of having to bury everything I want and feel because of his "New beliefs". It's all well and good to say put up a christmas tree, cook a turkey, take the kids trick-or-treating, and if he doesnt like it too bad! But in reality, if I do those things it just turns in to a big fight and I'm not RESPECTING his beliefs and what offends him! Why cant he put up with what I WANT because he respects MY beliefs? How do you all do it? Do you bury everything you feel and want, which is what I'm doing? I know I'm to the point where I have to figure out if I can live with myself, knowing I'm not being true to what I feel and want, just to stay married to him. Or decide that I have to leave him to be truly free and get what I want! I want to be selfish! I want to smack him and say "NO!" this is what we've ALWAYS done...this is what we'll continue to do! Why does that make me the bad, unrespectful wife? Why do I have to give up everything? I'm so ANGRY! He had a very loose lifestyle before I met him and unknowingly gave me HIV! That's pretty much made it so that no-one will want to be with me! I didnt ask for this disease! I didnt ask for someone who is taking away everything I love and want. When do I get to be selfish?? Why do I think it's selfish to want what we've always had before that damn JW came into his life! I'm sorry I'm rambling. I'm just so angry!!! How do I get past it? I dont know how to go on......

24

Needing peace and friendship

by snbdye2000 in

jw
friends

well the title of my subject seems a bit pathetic, but i truly am in need of friendship.

my whole life and marriage have been turned upside down with my husband "studying" with a jehovah's witness.

he hasnt done a lot of meeting with this man, but he does believe all their doctrine.

snbdye2000

Well first, thank you to everyone who has responded to my original post. I knew in my heart that I was not the only one going through these feelings. For those who welcomed a personal email, I will write you soon. I am happy to say that my husband's eyes are opening a little. He is rather upset about a few things we read - mainly that the governing body is led by the invisible power of God (my words, I cant recall the exact quotes), having to give up independant thinking, and the biggest one that Christ returned invisibly. He told me last night that the book has really opened up some big questions for him and that he will continue to read with me. Crisis of Conscience is supposed to come in today, and he said he looks forward to reading it. I have to respond though to those who imply that this is all just a "diffence of religious beliefs" and that if there is truly love that it can survive. That may be true to a point, but I feel it would run much much deeper than that. My husband has made many comments to the fact that he would be the authority in this house and that I would have NO say in anything. He has already made me get rid of all my Christmas decorations and told me that if I want to celebrate, I have to do it somewhere else. He already told our daughter the other day that Santa is not real. Now my issue isnt that she found out the truth - I cant argue with that. But I do have a problem with him taking something that meant a lot to me and totally disregarded my feelings on it and didnt even consult me about how and when to tell her. As her mom and his wife, I should have been there with him to tell her. But he did it to prove his "authority" - all at the pushing of this JW friend. That really angers me and proves to me that it's just the tip of the iceberg so to speak. But like I said, he is reading these books with me and is angry about a couple things we've covered. So I see that as a good sign. But then, if he meets with his friend today at lunch, it could be a whole new ball game tonight. It is amazing to me how quickly this guy can convince my husband of something in a short lunch break. It's amazing and scary. But I'll keep you all posted on how things are going. Thanks again, and I'll write those of you who invited me to do so.

24

Needing peace and friendship

by snbdye2000 in

jw
friends

well the title of my subject seems a bit pathetic, but i truly am in need of friendship.

my whole life and marriage have been turned upside down with my husband "studying" with a jehovah's witness.

he hasnt done a lot of meeting with this man, but he does believe all their doctrine.

snbdye2000

Well the title of my subject seems a bit pathetic, but I truly am in need of friendship. My whole life and marriage have been turned upside down with my husband "studying" with a Jehovah's Witness. He hasnt done a lot of meeting with this man, but he does believe all their doctrine. I was able to get him to agree to research the organization. I felt that was the best place to start. I bought a couple of books, mainly Reasoning from the Scriptures with JW's, and also have Crisis of Conscience on order, which he says he will read. Tonight we were supposed to start on the Reasoning book. In a 3 hour time, he basically heard one page. He kept going off on so many different topics that my head is spinning. He finally said that he thinks the best thing to do is to have this JW friend of his come here and discuss the book with me. I told him that I doubted he would agree to that, but if he would agree that we will ONLY use this book of mine to read from and discuss from, then fine I would do it. I didnt feel like I had any choice BUT to agree. It scares me to death though. I have visions of him running circles around me and convincing my husband that I'm a nutcase! At the end of the evening my husband told me something that really bothered me. First, you have to understand that he was moved to a new location for his job...and the JW moved into a new house. At first I was happy, since this took my husband out of the area where they had been meeting (on my husbands work lunch breaks). Well come to find out, the JW bought a house only 2 blocks from where my husband now works. So anyhow, today the JW told my husband that he really feels that God lead him to this house, and Shawn to this new job....because God wants them to continue to meet and for my husband to learn the truth. Of course, I see this as b.s. I see this statement as a nice little way to convince my husband to continue to meet with him, since my husband told him before this that we had decided to research things and that he wasnt going to meet with the JW until we were done. I hope that I'm making some sense here. Anyhow, the main reason I'm writing is because I am just totally devastated by this. I have such fear that it's already too late. I hope that I' m wrong, I pray that I'm wrong. But I cant seem to stop crying about it. I thought I married someone that shared my beliefs. For seven years we've been together, we have a beautiful 5 year old daughter. And now he tells me I cant celebrate her birthday or Christmas - he even brought home a childrens book to start teaching her from. And she's been going to a Christian pre-school for 2 years now! I am not writing to get advice on how to proceed - what information to use or anything like that. I just need a friend. I need to know that I'm not alone in my pain and that I'm not making up this pain! It's real. This is a real threat to absolutely everything I love and hold dear to me. I dont have much faith that it will work out the way I want it to. I dont know how to get that faith back. I'm starting to wonder why God is putting me through this. I feel like I"ve been totally abandoned by God and I know that's wrong to feel that way. But I truly dont know how to keep hope alive and I have absolutely no one to talk to about these things. I'm hoping someone can relate and would be willing to email with me.