If you want bulk and defenition you first want to bulk...once you become the size you want you can start toning that muscle. It helps to have some fat on you first. All those weight lifting pills with rock hard abs on the front are to fatten you up so you can become more bulky. Work you abs every day and you'll really start to see improvement within a month. Make sure you do excercises for every group of ab muscles, especially the dreaded lower abs where many people develope a little pooch.
Bgurltryal
JoinedPosts by Bgurltryal
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14
Are there any bodybuilders on this forum?
by Leander ini've just recently started going back to the gym again and i have a few question for the fitness experts.. its suggested that you should take a day off in between working out with weights.
is the same thing true for pushups?.
does anyone know of a few bodybuilding sites?
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14
Are there any bodybuilders on this forum?
by Leander ini've just recently started going back to the gym again and i have a few question for the fitness experts.. its suggested that you should take a day off in between working out with weights.
is the same thing true for pushups?.
does anyone know of a few bodybuilding sites?
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Bgurltryal
Hm...when i did weight training we alernated for 5 consecutive days a week with upper and lower weight workouts with a rest on Saturday and Sunday.
So day one upper(bench,millitary,incline etc.)day two lower (squats,leg press, dead lift etc.) and so on alternating. We did crunches, pushups, running laps and streches every day for warm ups. We had saturday and sunday off.
Basically it's nessesary to combine weight lifting with cardio, especially if your goal is to lose weight. If you are trying to bulk your muscles do less reps with more weight. If you want to tone your muscles do more reps at less weight. And be sure to stretch and warm up cause otherwise you suck...hehehe. Don't know if this helped but that's mah two cents of advice!
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finding friends outside the Borg - a Scary thought
by lydia inhas anyone else found that the teaching of the "outside world" being a "bad association" limits your involvement and ability to make new freinds?.
if so how have you overcome this and any suggestions to helping those suffering from these feelings?.
lydia
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Bgurltryal
Sorry...i wrote alot.
This is true, bgurl. And we all know this. I have friends who had terrible things happen to them as children and adults. I don't think you will find anyone here who would ever belittle a "worldly" (I use this term not as an insult, but just as a 'word') person's bad experiences, as you have ours. Your quote says you aren't, but the rest of your post clearly shows it.
What you have to remember is that in addition to being "cultisized" for 20/30 years, we also have been molested, seen our children/mothers/fathers/wives/husbands die right before our eyes over the blood issue, seen friends and loved ones commit suicide, been shunned for no other reason than we had different ideas, been physically abused (as I was) by our parents and husbands. And this was condoned by the society.You JUST did belittle others experiences. You just said 'yes everyone else has had something terrible happen but OUR experiences are worse'
"Worldly" is a term that was drilled into our minds for so many years, to me it just refers to anyone who never was a witness, or left the org. I don't use the term to insult. I don't think of the word as representing "evil" people. I don't think Xena meant that at all. That's the problem. We, as former witnesses, realize that when we say this word, we are not belittling ones who were never in the org. If you have never lived in our shoes, you will not understand this. I'm sorry, but if you have never been part of a cult, you will not be "just like us". I feel your above statement was condescending.
Again. You are the one with the condesending attitude. 'You will never know what we go through so your advise is deemed useless'
My point in that particular statement is that if you sit in a corner because you think you're different you will be seen as different by those who don't know why you are in the corner.I never said everyone IS just like you i said 'think of them as people just like you'I was speaking of a state of mind.Believe me, Bgurl, when I tell you we, of all people, KNOW this. And if there's one thing we DO have, it's BALLS. We chose to leave a cult and be shunned/ostracized/rejected, by all we loved and held dear. Rather than stay and be or have hypocritical friends. We understood what the real meaning of friendship was, or we would all still be there.
If you read my later posts i am well aware of this:
I'm sorry my existanceand words are offensive to you.I am not offended by you. I respect you. It takes so much courage to leave this organisation. I understand why you are offended .My comments were about a state of mind that everyone goes through not a personality trait hence my statement that it was not intended to offend.
Again this was a piece of advise. take it or leave it. It was in respons to the original question.
To me, this too, read like another insult. Somehow you seem to think we have no idea how to do this. I think we know even more so what true friends are. And how very important it is to find them. We have the BALLS to go out and try to make new friends, even after all the rejection. All the disillusion. All the people who think we are
The person who started this thread DID indeed ASK for suggestions on how to deal with the outside world. YOU may not have problems but lydia asked for suggestions:
Has anyone else found that the teaching of the "outside world" being a "bad Association" limits your involvement and ability to make new freinds?
If so how have you overcome this and any suggestions to helping those suffering from these feelings?
Thanks,
LydiaI was not insulting anyone. I was replying to the topic at hand. The entire topic was about having difficulties conecting to others in the world after so much hatred has been taught about it for so many years.If you have no problems with friends I am very happy for you but this thread was about exactly that. And i was giving my SUGGESTIONS as to what may help.
Here you contradict what you said earlier. We are "just like everyone else". You say yourself, in this quote, that ones who have never experienced "programming" will not understand. Bgurl, we are VERY aware of our oddities. Even with an understanding of our history, we are still considered odd by some. And yet we have the courage to go out and make friends. Bear our souls. Work through the anger. Help others. And still boo-hoo on the board to ones we KNOW will understand.
No.. i WROTE:'think of them as people just like you' i never said anything about being just like you. Again I was refering to a state of mind. I think that's the main thing here. None of what everyone took offense to is my own opinion. It was all an EXAMPLE of a state of mind. I think I've tryed to explain that in my two later posts after realising the confusion had caused offense.
I really don't understand why people are crying 'offense!' to my reply other than you feel i have no right to post here as I'm not a JW or ex JW. As far as i knew this board was for EVERYONE to post their comments. Where else shall i go? there really isn't a 'people who love ex JWs' board i can post on. I answered a question and it offended people that I, a no JW, had the audacity to reply.
The question was ABOUT becoming friends with the 'wordly'. the topic heading: 'finding friends outside the Borg - a Scary thought' the question of any suggestions on getting past the taught notions of the 'outside' world being evil and making friends in what has been ingrained to be a hostile place. I hoped my unique (to this board) 'worldly' perspective might be of some asistance to the person who started the thread. It was not intended for those who do not have problems. Although people who at first said they understood the emotions of Lydia and felt in the same boat later feel insult from me stating they can make friends and don't need my input. Again it just seems that you don't like a 'worldly' person giving advise which to me shows you still have some negative feelings towards 'worldly' people.
You might as well just stone me next time I attempt to help someone.
But, I felt insulted by your words also. And that was after sleeping on them all night and re-reading them this morning. Sorry, but I think if you continue to read here, you'll see alot more boo-hooing before we're done.
I'm VERY SORRY I seem to have insulted so many but i do wish you'd read my two latter posts of clarrification and regret before responding to my first post. Of course you are going to 'boohoo' (boy do i wish I'd just typed 'feel sad' instead now!) I cry along side my boyfriend when i see the pain and horrific things this oranization did to him and is still doing to his cute little brother who i love with all my heart. That entire 'boohooing' statement was about putting on a face of aprocability if only outwardly, that people enjoy being around people who make them feel good. It's selfish but true. I was merely offering my own insights. I am still somewhat confused as to why I shouldn't have replyed to this topic as that's what i feel was being exuded.
I cry jus about every christmas. Nuthin wrong with it and theres alot of real pain.
Awwwwww...yeah...i made him a fold up christmas tree and wrapped presents for his first christmas and he sent me a cardboard box with Lego toys in it cause he didn't realise he was supposed to wrap it...so cuuuuuteee!
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finding friends outside the Borg - a Scary thought
by lydia inhas anyone else found that the teaching of the "outside world" being a "bad association" limits your involvement and ability to make new freinds?.
if so how have you overcome this and any suggestions to helping those suffering from these feelings?.
lydia
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Bgurltryal
Goodness. I had no idea what i wrote would cause this. I'm sorry i created such feelings in people.
I was writting in BASED ON MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. Insidentally my boyfriend is bboyneko (hence my knight in shinning armour coming to my rescue here). As you see not the boohoo whiner i speak of.
I speak of my own mindset in the past.(personal boohooing ahead) I spent eyons feeling terrible for so much of the crap in my life when one of my friends told me the horror of his life and i realised it was time to get up and try to carry on. Before that many people did not enjoy my company. It's unpleasant to be with someone who spends day after day focusing on the negative and now and then i feel this site can promote that. I went to a psycologist at one point. It was helpful for a while in the time that i wanted self pity. But then I was tiered of feeling bad constantly and ultimately i left. There can be a point where you can say I'm ready to stop helping myself and ready to start helping others.(personal boohooing ended)I never called anyone on the board a boohooer. the question in the topic was this:
Has anyone else found that the teaching of the "outside world" being a "bad Association" limits your involvement and ability to make new freinds?
If so how have you overcome this and any suggestions to helping those suffering from these feelings?In reply I first stated that though not a JW i see a certain mindset from people everywhere.I then said that INSTEAD OF HAVING THIS TYPE OF MINDSET(insert mindset A) HAVE THIS ONE INSTEAD(insert mindset B) and you may attract more people to you. I spoke of a change in mindset. It was a mere suggestion. You are all very welcome to ignore it. I know i did. as the saying goes 'when the student is ready the teacher will apear' (summit like that) It's almost like people read what they want. What...you're worldly?...you must be writing something evil!!!
I don't think it's hostility as much as nasty sarcasm that seems to be directed at my comments. My step father would use this method to feel superiority over me and belittle me. If you must use this to feel happy in responding to me do so. I chose not to as it only ends in my own feelings of sadness that i have caused someone else pain.I hope I am able to write my opinion without too much anger injected into my own words. Now come ooooon...I had smiley faces and jokes decorating my post. Do i really look like I'm trying to write something evil? I collect toys and watch the powerpuff girls for peets sake!
I came here to learn about the horror of the life of the most important person in my life before we met. I can never KNOW what it's like but the more i learn the more i can hopefully understand him a little more. Every now and then, based on all the things i have learnt, inside and outside of this discusion board, I try to give a differing perspective. 'possibly to someone who doesn't know any better and who has no idea of your painful history you may come across like so. Perhaps trying to come across in a different way may help you to cope, and hopefully thrive, in this world you feal so strange to'
Almost like having a spy from the other side. Like having a guy friend who tells you what the poop goes through their heads sometimes.But ,if you don't find it useful, then you know my name, you know I'm worldly, you know to ignore my future posts.
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finding friends outside the Borg - a Scary thought
by lydia inhas anyone else found that the teaching of the "outside world" being a "bad association" limits your involvement and ability to make new freinds?.
if so how have you overcome this and any suggestions to helping those suffering from these feelings?.
lydia
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Bgurltryal
Xena. I never spoke to you personally so i don't understand your hostility towards me. I was giving an outsiders opinion to the topic based on what i see with my own boyfriend who is an ex JW.
I have been with him for 3 years and had to deal with many issues with his family including becoming homeless after his brother kicked him out for using his computer to look at a site much like this one. They no longer speak. I am only able to see his younger (9 year old), autistic brother once or twice a month, my boyfriend sees him even less. His little brother adores us and i know that he misses his older brother terribly. I hate this. I hate what this 'religion' does to families. Since the September 11th attacks his mother has been trying to lead me to the 'truth', I think in the hopes that i will in turn do the same with her son and we can all be one big happy family.I see how twisted this religion is first hand. From these experiences I was offering my own insite.
As for boohooing...i don't take that comment back. I have been lurking on this board for quite some time and have seen this mind set time and time again. You have a unique oportunity to give the gift of knowledge of the evils of this religion to others. I think it's such a waste instead to hold on to fear. You have an extreme amount of people who would be incredibly interested to learn of your experiences. I knew soooo little about the JWs before meeting my boyfriend except that they were annoying And although i could do without the heartache that seems to come with the territory i am richer for what i have learnt.
I am well aware this is an Ex JW forum. I came here to understand the mindset and actions of my boyfriend better and get some insight into what the experience of being so controlled must be like. To be so hostile to me goes against what this forum is design for which is to be informatory to EVERYONE whether they are a JW and ex JW or just an interested party.
You nastiness towards me was uncalled for. I will not and I hope have not returned that in my response as my intent with my first post was not to offend (as i stated) but to share a different point of view. I never said you had to like it or consider it or even bother reading it. If you did not like it then ignore it, don't insinuate that i should leave the topic just because you don't agree with my opinions. Just as you had the right to speak your mind about me and this topic i spoke my own opinion on the topic at hand.
Calling someone wordly may not seem like anything out of the norm for you but for me it is like calling someone a racial slur. It was taught to represent the evil people in the evil world that would all be destroyed soon. Can't you just called us 'the happy nice people' or something.
I'm sorry my existanceand words are offensive to you.I am not offended by you. I respect you. It takes so much courage to leave this organisation. I understand why you are offended .My comments were about a state of mind that everyone goes through not a personality trait hence my statement that it was not intended to offend.
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finding friends outside the Borg - a Scary thought
by lydia inhas anyone else found that the teaching of the "outside world" being a "bad association" limits your involvement and ability to make new freinds?.
if so how have you overcome this and any suggestions to helping those suffering from these feelings?.
lydia
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Bgurltryal
As an always have been 'worldly' person i am somewhat offended by some comments made here.
I'm not trying to belittle anything anyone has been through but EVERYONE, in my experience, has had some awful thing or other happen to them throughout their life. Maybe a mindset less 'boohoo, i have been screwed over and noone other than a JW could possibly understand my pain' and more of 'I, like many others in the world, have had a uniquely horrifying experience that i will share with those who show interest and possibly educate someone to the horror that can occur due to being a JW to those who might otherwise remain ignorant' would be a better mindset.
I have offered homeless friends my home who were shunned by their families for no other reason than that they couldn't be bothered to look after the child they had created. There was no reason to fall back on such as changing religous views. They were simply a nusance for exhisting.
Friend upon friend upon friend has shared their tales of physical and mental abuse. Ranging from the odd slap and belittling that are scaring enough, to running away with their baby sister after their cocain adicted mother beat them and logded a stileto heel in their forehead.
One friends brother was hitch hiking with his girlfriend and was picked up by a bunch of kids who then raped his girlfriend and beat him to death with a rock.
Everyone has one of these stories based on their own unique backgrounds.
Instead of thinking of people outside your former religon as 'worldly' think of them as people just like you with their own stories of pain and happiness to share. Some of whom you will get along with and alot of whom you will never have a friendship with. But learning about anyone, regardless of weather the great friendship materialises, is a rewarding experience.
I think JWs are spoilt with this instant friendship that acompanies joining the organization. In the real world it just isn't that easy. You need alot of confidence and balls to go out and offer you emotions to possible rejection. But it's worth it when you find one or a few people you can truely connect with.
remember that the 'friends' you aquiered in the JWs are little more than yes men who become friends with those they are told to be friends with.
True friends are earned through work and exposing your self, you feelings and thoughts with others. They are not handed to you on a plate with a set of beleif systems.
And when you find real friends it is important you tell them of your JW past 'cause ,no offence, but sometimes you ex's can seem a little odd to one who has never experienced such 'programming'. Your thought processes are sometimes confusing to someone who has grown up with only logical thought. Also exhisting in such a confusing place with so many limitations is bound to cause alot of psycological oddities you may not even be aware of that others may think odd without an understanding of your history.
It is odd to me that i am looked upon as evil by a group of people i do not know, have never met, and who have not tryed to learn who i am. It's a form of predjudice. Don't bring that with you from the religion. It is just another way to control you and keep you from finding people who will love you for who you truely are.
Alot of us are pretty dope. Give us a chance! We're not THAT evil. I only eat babies once a week.
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Military reponse? Or lets not cause more violence
by bboyneko inwhat to do if you happen upon a peace rally by stupid naive hemp-shirt-wearing college idiots, to teach them why force is sometimes needed: .
1) approach dumb rich ignorant student talking about "peace" and saying there should be, "no retaliation.
2) engage in brief conversation, ask if military force is appropriate.
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Bgurltryal
This whole anagoly reaks of suckdom
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nned to be frustrated and entertained? Try...
by bboyneko inthis, it's a crazy puzzle..figure it out if you dare.
i got stuck at the snowman for a loooong time till i got a little creative and figured it out.. .. http://www.vectorpark.com/levers.html
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Bgurltryal
when you win you get a somewhat pathetic round of applause.
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British History Lessons
by Utopian Reformist ini desparately tried to avoid this thread about anglo & american superiority.
i truly did, until i read the "poppycock" about the british war efforts in the last century.. perhaps anglophiles should refresh their ancient and modern memories a bit before launching such laughable tirades of triviality and supposed triumph.. first, did not the english employ mercenaries during the battle of hastings to win the 100 years war?
(since "expatbrit" is correcting me--i am modifying this)-- excuse me for my trivial error).
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Bgurltryal
MARMITE!!!!!!!!...YUMMMYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
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where are all the demon possessed people?
by sleepy inhow come that when jesus was on earth there were so many demon possessd people .. imagine how scared people must have been, creeping down the street wondering whether the next person you met was crased by demons and was going to attack you.. so how did they work out that someone was possessed by demons, who told them?how did they know it wasnt just a disease or other afliction?.
and were are all those demon possessions today ?.
you would think that with all the comunication technology today that at least one example of a positivly demon possessed person could be presented to the midia somewere in the world.. or perhaps we cant tell if someone is possessed or not because there are no extra outwould signs and any disease they caused would show up like a normal disease in tests.. maybe we are all possessed and dont know it.
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Bgurltryal
um...'those sorts of people'???