(((((ashi and wife))))))
Andi
Billygoat
JoinedPosts by Billygoat
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12
To my friends-
by ashitaka ini don't want to spam, but i just wanted to post one more topic tonite.
i was reading bridgette's post, and was moved, but not just because of what she said...mommy made a comment about us being friends here, and you know what...i feel that way too.. sometimes, even though i have a wife who left the jw's with me, i feel so damn isolated and alone, that i'm the only strong one among a bunch of children, who all fight and tear at each other....this is one place i feel semi-normal again.. it's so hard to befriend people now.
i have so much trouble talking to people and interacting socially with people, although i've been told i'm agreeable to be around.. i don't know, i'm exhausted from thinking.
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35
They shun you--Do you love them?
by ashitaka infor all who have, are, or will be shunned (which should pretty much be all of us), do you still have a deep love for those who now shun you...now, not familial love, but an active love that yearns for that person's companionship?.
i have several regrets; one of them is the friends that i've lost.
how about you guys?.
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Billygoat
Oh my. So many comments here reflect my heart...
Yes. I still yearn for the friendships and especially the relationships with my family. I long for a normal fun, loving, caring relationship with my mom. I want to go shopping, share family traditions, recipes and experiences with her. I want to talk about my career, experiences, and boyfriend relationships with my dad. I want to hug my brothers and tease them about the funny things we did to each other growing up. I want to hear about their college experiences and about their girlfriends. I want a normal, happy, healthy family. Not a big request. But for those like us, it is.
Do I love my family? Without a doubt. I hate some of their actions, past and present, but will always want the best for them. I will always welcome them into my life and my home, should they change their minds about me. I think it's what Jesus would do and I have a peace about that.
Ashi - I've had to come to grips with the realization that will probably never happen. It makes me realize how precious the good moments are. It make me appreciate those that consider me a part of their family. Blood is NOT thicker than water. Some of the people on this board are my family and I've never met them. I just know they DO love me and ACCEPT me with all my faults.
But at the same time, I've done all I can to bridge the gap and repair our relationship. I can only do so much though. I do have a peace knowing I've done what I can.
We love you Ash. You're important to us. Your value is immeasurable and irreplaceable. Please don't forget that!
(((((hugs)))))
Andi
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108
My father just beat my brother-
by ashitaka inone more topic.. my wife just called up to tell me that she was over my parents before a doctor's visit, chatting with my mother, when my crazed jw father threw my small 14 year old brother down the stairs and punched him for not wanting to study.. i've been beat, thrown down stairs, had potted plants thrown at me, chased around the house, and such, for not wanting to do the family study.. this is what the "truth" does to people, all you loyal jw's....take note...... (i'm so angry i'm shaking).
ashi.
p.s-my father said he was leaving my mother--oh god, pretty please, you motherf**ker.
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Billygoat
(((((Ashi)))))
I'm so sorry. I wish I could do something sweetie.
I've lost track of how many times I've seen dishes fly inches past my face, how many lashes I've received on my bare bottom from a leather belt, or how many obscenities I've had screamed at me by my abusive father. I've lost track of how many times he's done the same to my step-mom and my brothers. I totally understand. Totally.
Please call the police. But if your dad leaves, that would be the best thing in the world for your family. But if he is the typical abuser, he'll make the threat and never follow through. If he leaves he won't have anyone to control and he knows that. My father has left my step-mom several times always coming back making futile promises of changed behavior. Please be careful dear! I hope you don't mind, but I'll be saying prayers.
(((((:X :X :X))))))
Andi
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26
My BIG Thanksgiving Turkey
by Mulan inokay, by popular demand........here is a photo of my giant turkey from thanksgiving.
stuffed, it weighed 46 pounds, and i had to borrow a commercial sized pan, to put it in.
as you can see, it literally fills my oven, is on the bottom rack (had to take one out) and nearly touches the roof of the oven.
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Billygoat
Aaron,
Are you willing to share your pumpkin creme brulee? CB is my absolute fave dessert and I cannot do a good job at it. The pumpkin makes it sound yummier! If CB could be yummier!
Andi
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26
first time post
by amazed injust nice to know that i'm not alone.
i'm truly amazed and had no idea unitil yesterday surfing on a whim i decided to confront my past.
it's a blessing for me and i feel another turning point in my life because now i have lots of people to talk to and i know now that i wasn't and i'm not going crazy and that it's not just me.
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Billygoat
Amazed,
Welcome and looking forward to hearing more about your story. If you get comfortable enough, we'd love to hear a little about your history. Just share when you're ready. But I relate to the "amazed" feeling about finding this board. I've only been here a few months, but have healed more during that time than the 11 years before that. Take care!
Andi
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4
Please Tell Me About Ex-Dub Love
by Mindchild ini think it is a bit sad that finding and keeping love in our lives is a bit of an uphill struggle.
when i had to choose between the real world and the watchtower world years ago, my parents told me that i would never find love out there in this wicked system of things.
they quoted me scriptures which avowed the myth that only real love comes from the fruitage of the spirit and what passes for love in the world is nothing but lust.
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Billygoat
I learned to love myself first, and this opened me up to so much love from the outside.
Bridgette - it is so true! When I decided to take a break from dating a couple of years ago, I was really able to find some things about myself that I liked. I joined some league sports, I joined some women's groups, I took up arts and crafts - I focused on ME ME ME! Selfish? You're damn right! And after 28 years of living according to everyone elses wishes, I don't feel guilty about it. Refuse to. I call it taking care of myself. I just try not to step on anyone's toes (too hard) when I'm doing it. But I discovered when I learned to like myself, it made me more attractive. People liked me because I like myself.Logi - are you reading this dear???
I'll try to expand more later, as I'm rushing out of the office this evening. The weather here in Dallas is bad tonight. It's supposed to snow. Whoohoo!
Andi
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26
My BIG Thanksgiving Turkey
by Mulan inokay, by popular demand........here is a photo of my giant turkey from thanksgiving.
stuffed, it weighed 46 pounds, and i had to borrow a commercial sized pan, to put it in.
as you can see, it literally fills my oven, is on the bottom rack (had to take one out) and nearly touches the roof of the oven.
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Billygoat
Curiously enough, that works with women too.
I think I'm leaving work early now. And it's not because of the bad weather either.
Andi
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24
Paradise - I Think I'll Pass........
by Black Man inone thing that has always kinda ticked me off with the society depiction of paradise, is the completely bland, devoid of personality, stepford wives-ish look given to paradise pics in the publications over the years.
peeps walkin' around smilin' for no reason, no attention given to a cultivation of technology, the arts, space exploration.
there never seemed to be any point to paradise.
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Billygoat
...eternity as a neuter?
Okay...I'll pass too.
Seriously, when a dog is neutered does he lose his sex drive or does he just lose the ability to reproduce?
Andi
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26
My BIG Thanksgiving Turkey
by Mulan inokay, by popular demand........here is a photo of my giant turkey from thanksgiving.
stuffed, it weighed 46 pounds, and i had to borrow a commercial sized pan, to put it in.
as you can see, it literally fills my oven, is on the bottom rack (had to take one out) and nearly touches the roof of the oven.
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Billygoat
Mulan,
46 pounds? I sure hope you had enough people to help you out with it. That's a friggin' big ol' turkey!
My first thanksgiving turkey was only a 12 pounder, but I discovered the secret to a moist turkey. (Or roasted chicken for that matter!) I stick the biggest apple I can find in the cavity of the body and wrap the legs tightly with string. Sometimes when I want a different flavor I'll add a lemon (poked with holes) along with the apple. I have cooked a turkey every year since 1995 and not once have I had a dry turkey.
Andi
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12
Aaaah, Sweet Gossip
by mindfield ingossip is nothing new... we hear it everywhere, at work, with friends, even on this message board.
it's nothing special, and it will stay with humanity for a long, long time, if not forever.. however, if one claims to be in god's only organization on earth, part of god's plan for a *paradise earth*, then one must therefore be free of such *petty* things as gossip.
at least that's what the gb says, right?.
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Billygoat
You're going to get gossip no matter what religion, job, or family you have. Some are worse about it than others, but mainly it is a human trait to want to talk about other people.
I attend a pretty fundmental church and this is what I see. People here gossip. Sometimes the gossip is trivial and doesn't hurt anyone. Sometimes it is encouraging information about someone. Sometimes it is downright nasty. But what makes a difference to me is that (in general) my church does not claim to be the mouthpiece of God and doesn't believe that they are better than other people. In fact, sometimes they are downright humble. Example:
At one dinner, the gossip was pretty bad about a particular person that wasn't really making good choices about his life. The discussion which started out as a sharing of facts turned into one of cattiness. I sat there for a few minutes and then made a comment. I said it quietly, diplomatically, and kindly. I wasn't rude and I didn't storm out afterwards like I wanted to.
"I cannot imagine Jesus sitting here sharing the morbid details of this person's life and then condemning him for it. He would be the one breaking bread and encouraging that person. Making him feel better - promising him a time where sins are forgotten. I know I've made some pretty crappy decisions before. I sure hope you don't talk about me like this when I'm not around."
Nobody said a word. I was scared to death saying it, but I had had my limit of the badmouthing. Somebody abruptly changed the course of the conversation to something more upbuilding, but I figured out that night who some of my true friends were. Several men and one of the ladies thanked me later. But some of the people I thought were my friends, were offended and angered by my comment and haven't said much to me since then. They way I look at it? I spoke the truth. If it hurt their feelers, then I'm truly sorry. It was not my intent. But I don't think I was out of line or arrogant by my words.
Andi