Oh my. So many comments here reflect my heart...
Yes. I still yearn for the friendships and especially the relationships with my family. I long for a normal fun, loving, caring relationship with my mom. I want to go shopping, share family traditions, recipes and experiences with her. I want to talk about my career, experiences, and boyfriend relationships with my dad. I want to hug my brothers and tease them about the funny things we did to each other growing up. I want to hear about their college experiences and about their girlfriends. I want a normal, happy, healthy family. Not a big request. But for those like us, it is.
Do I love my family? Without a doubt. I hate some of their actions, past and present, but will always want the best for them. I will always welcome them into my life and my home, should they change their minds about me. I think it's what Jesus would do and I have a peace about that.
Ashi - I've had to come to grips with the realization that will probably never happen. It makes me realize how precious the good moments are. It make me appreciate those that consider me a part of their family. Blood is NOT thicker than water. Some of the people on this board are my family and I've never met them. I just know they DO love me and ACCEPT me with all my faults.
But at the same time, I've done all I can to bridge the gap and repair our relationship. I can only do so much though. I do have a peace knowing I've done what I can.
We love you Ash. You're important to us. Your value is immeasurable and irreplaceable. Please don't forget that!
(((((hugs)))))
Andi