Blondie,
Sorry about that blank post.... didn't mean to do that.
I liked Matt Damon's idea as well. I would like as many impartial comments before I give my opinion, in order to assess my own ideas, but it does coincide with one of my thoughts.
Brad
formerout
JoinedPosts by formerout
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29
What makes people really excel?
by formerout ini was just watching nightline (i think it was) with diane sawyer.
the stars from ocean's twelve were on there.
i am not a person who normally gives too much praise to celebs or athletes but these guys/gals (brad pitt, catherine zeta-jones, andy garcia, george clooney, matt damon and don cheadle) were pretty brilliant.
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29
What makes people really excel?
by formerout ini was just watching nightline (i think it was) with diane sawyer.
the stars from ocean's twelve were on there.
i am not a person who normally gives too much praise to celebs or athletes but these guys/gals (brad pitt, catherine zeta-jones, andy garcia, george clooney, matt damon and don cheadle) were pretty brilliant.
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formerout
I was just watching Nightline (I think it was) with Diane Sawyer. The stars from Ocean's Twelve were on there. I am not a person who normally gives too much praise to celebs or athletes but these guys/gals (Brad Pitt, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Andy Garcia, George Clooney, Matt Damon and Don Cheadle) were pretty brilliant.
My question is: Whether it's actors, athletes, musicians, authors, scientists, etc., what is the biggest factor/factors that make the highly successful people in their field become such?
Brad
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62
Should I teach my kids about Santa Claus? (Lie vs. Harmless Fantasy)
by AlmostAtheist inmy wife and i got on a discussion about something i never would've guessed we'd need to.
she wants to teach our new baby about santa claus, easter bunny, & tooth fairy, but i don't.
of course, as witnesses we never would have taught that, and i have to acknowledge that i may only be reasoning using that old set of values.. i don't want to look into my kid's eyes and tell her something that i know for a fact isn't true.
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formerout
lisaBObeesa,
I like the way you dealt with it with your son. Very positive way to approach it.
In general it doesn't seem like believing in Santa, (whether it's implanted by peers, TV or parents) and the changing of the belief after, results in any harm to the children. If our kids are playing with a make-believe friend we wouldn't step in and tell them that that friend is not real.
Whichever way you choose to deal with it, as long as you deal with it in a positive way, IMO, it will turn out fine.
Brad
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78
What is the truth?
by OldSoul inpontius pilate asked, and now i'm asking.
i've been reading many topics in here, now i am wondering... what is truth?
i'm both respectful and broadminded enough to allow for any other viewpoint, whether or not i agree.
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formerout
OldSoul,
You will find that Brenda's comments are some of the wisest here, IMO.
At the risk of sounding simplistic, (next to her's ), I will make a couple of more comments myself.
Regarding Hitler being a part of God as well (and he was obviously a badass), my opinion is that all people are capable of showing love. It just seems that some people love TO HATE. It fulfills some sort of need in their life and it is not exactly healthy but when they get support from their bad behaviour (like Hitler did by most of his country), it is not necessarily easy for them to stop their negative behaviour.
This brings me to the point about the WTBTS. I still love all the individuals in the org., although, granted I have greater respect for some than others. It is the system that has been created that I strongly dislike. The WTBTS accepts people into their fold with virtually no conditions. Once in, they defend those individuals to the tenth degree, simply because the ones they are defending them against are "Satan's followers". This allows many dysfunctional people to BELIEVE that they are right when in fact a lot should get psychological help.
The major difference that I have noticed since I have not been a Witness is that I would gladly take positive advice from anybody, including JW's. I also know enough when the advice is most likely negative and consequently ignore it.
While I was a JW I took only advice from them, positive or negative, and took it to heart. My ability to reason for myself was very limited.
You a very well-spoken person and from the impression I get, likely intelligent both intellectually and socially. My opinion is that you are not necessarily a negative influence on society in general even though you are a JW. Many others that are JW's though, are a very negative influence to the people around them. I have had some major experiences with this both in my childhood and in recent interaction with my ex-wife's JW family. I can handle it and learn from it, but I also recognize that for me to behave the same way as them, it would not be good for anybody, including myself.
I hope that might shed a little more light on what I meant about avoiding absolutes and that we are all a "part" of God, in a sense.
Brad
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78
What is the truth?
by OldSoul inpontius pilate asked, and now i'm asking.
i've been reading many topics in here, now i am wondering... what is truth?
i'm both respectful and broadminded enough to allow for any other viewpoint, whether or not i agree.
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formerout
DY,
That's exactly what I meant! Very succintly put.
Brad
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78
What is the truth?
by OldSoul inpontius pilate asked, and now i'm asking.
i've been reading many topics in here, now i am wondering... what is truth?
i'm both respectful and broadminded enough to allow for any other viewpoint, whether or not i agree.
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formerout
Welcome OldSoul,
Hopefully you don't take that "welcome" as any sign that I am hoping to turn you against the WTBTS. My whole family is still in it. They need it in their lives for some reason. I don't.... simple as that.
As far as what is the truth? The truth is different for everybody. My truth is not the same as anybody else's, however you seem to want some sort of opinion so I will oblige.
The organizations or people that seem to most ABSOLUTELY know what the truth is seem to me to be the furthest from it. I try to have very few absolute opinions about anything. However one I really feel is absolute is that if I am nice to someone or "love" someone it feels better for me and gets better results for them than if I do the opposite.
I think "God" is a part of us and every other being in the Universe. Any religions that teach that he is not a part of us seem to me to be missing the point. IMO this is what Jesus and other wise people have been meaning all along: Accept that me, you and everybody else is a part of and therefore worthy of being in God's presence.
Brad
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160
Why ? Why? WHY???
by rune inthis topic has been rolling around in my head for some time.
i don't expect that i'll write it perfectly as it needs to be articulated in different ways for different people...but i will do my best.
and worst of all, i am not expecting any kind of response that will satisfy me.
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formerout
Branda,
Very, very, very well said. I thought my little quip was fairly well said , but yours was amazing. Direct, to the point and yet with great understanding and empathy.
Cheers,
Brad
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I go to Court tomorrow for Sole Custody..... I'm excited but scared too!!!!
by formerout ini am writing this partly to get straight in my mind how i want to present my material tomorrow, since i am representing myself.
but i would also love any advice that you may have to help me (other than get a lawyer.... lol... not an option unfortunately).. my ex-wife and i got separated on april 24, 2003. i spent over $12,500.00 on lawyers just to get to see my kids.
she tried everything in the book to try to prevent me from seeing them, including lying to the police and having me thrown in jail for a night, calling children's aid on me 9 times, (all not substantiated), and most recently by trying to hire someone to beat me up.. we ended up having a settlement conference on june 22, 2004, from which twenty-nine different orders were made, including joint custody with primary residence with her, that my children were ordered to not go to the kingdom hall anymore, access times, support, not moving away, etc.
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formerout
For any who have paid attention..... a little update. Today I got to present my evidence to the Judge as far as the Orders my ex has broken. (By the way it was the same Judge that last week prevented her from switching the kids in the schools.)
I explained how my oldest son hasn't come for one weekend visit since the June 22nd Order was made. Approx. half the time he has been absent for me to even ask him. I am supposed to get all the kids Tues. and Wed. but she has refused to let them come both days.
I explained about how my oldest son was supposed to be weaned off of the JW religion over the next year. Due to the theory that they teach about when they are persecuted they are even more right it was supposed to happen gradually, without him knowing about it. (He's 10) The judge had a copy of the letter he gave to me on his 10th Birthday saying how he was going to go anyway even if I didn't let him but he hoped I let him go willingly (He's 10 for friggs sakes. Did I mention that?) I also mentioned that it is not my ex but her mother who has taken my children to the KH. I also said that Brandon has been living, for all intents and purposes, with her mother for about two years.
I mentioned how my ex has, since June 22nd, made the kids (the three youngest, 7,6,4) miss 27 games of soccer and hockey between the three because she either couldn't or didn't want to take them despite the Order saying that if she couldn't, I get to take them. Her reasoning, boldly asserted to me has been, "Why should I let you have extra time with them?"
She has had trouble getting the kids to school. Two years ago my oldest missed 48.5 days of school while primarily in her mother's care. An Order was put in hopefully to prevent this from happening. My oldest son had missed 9.5 days already by Nov 1st. During all this she has refused to allow me to have access to the kids at school to possibly help her in that regard. (We have Joint custody with primary residence with her, but our Board of Ed. allows the parent with primary residence to prevent the other parent from having access to the school.)
She moved to a town about 35 to 40 minutes away, despite the fact that we have lived within 2-3 minutes of her parents for twelve years. All of the kids' friends are in this one part of our city. I threw in for good measure that when she told me that she was moving and I said it wouldn't be good for the kids and it was against the Judge's Order that she said, "I don't care what the Judge says, I'm moving anyway." (More specific details were given but I have condensed it.)
The Judge turned to my ex's lawyer (I was still standing). He told the Judge that there are enough differences of opinion that this will probably have to go to trial. The Judge asked her lawyer what were evidently the Judge's biggest concerns first.
Judge - "What do you have to say regarding (oldest son) living with your client's mother?"
Lawyer - "He has never lived with her mother Your Honour."
The Judge looked back to me. I said, "If this goes to trial, Your Honour, numerous witnesses from the neighbourhood will be brought in to testify that (oldest son) has in fact been living with her mother for nearly two years." She seemed to believe me so she turned back to him.
Judge - "What about the access exchanges?"
Lawyer - "(Oldest son) has in fact gone on every access exchange with his father, but, Your Honour, the Respondent has been dragging (oldest son) to his vehicle by the back of his neck in order to get his access with him. Then usually a couple of hours later he will drop him back off at his mother's. For these reasons he has sometimes not wanted to go and has stayed at home but he has been there for every access exchange, Your Honour."
Judge - OK, I'm going to have to stop this right there. There are too many differences of opinion that are coming out that it can't possibly be dealt with today. I am going to have to stand it down to a later date." Turning to me, "But I am going to make it an early date Mr. C."
They discussed dates and she asked me if December 17th was good for me. I said it was but as I had the week before (you never know, she could be the Judge again), I wanted to refute what he said as my last statement.
I said, "Your Honour, his last statement regarding my treatment of (oldest son) is an AB-SO-LUTE LIE!!" I said it in the same volume as the rest but I definitely made it stand out.
She said, very respectfully, "Mr. C., an early date has been set so that the evidence can be presented the way it should be because as you can see we just don't have time today." She put her hands out towards the 40 or so people that had gathered in the room. When I started speaking there were about three, other than the clerks, etc. Earlier, when I was talking about my not getting to see my oldest son my emotions overcame me and I had to pause to gather myself. I tried to speak again but my voice was still cracking so she politely said take your time, Mr. C.
Overall I think she knew that he was lying but of course she has to let him spew his lies as a defense, even if the Judge, at the end makes the final determination that it is in fact all lies. Of course she can't let her true opinions out. The kids will be staying in their present school too, so that's another positive thing. I asked her if the kids could stay over at my house on Tues and Wed nights until Dec. 17th so that they didn't have to make the commute to the other city at 7:30 at night. She, once again respectfully said she couldn't because she didn't want to prjudice anybody at this point. Fair enough.
While I was waiting for the clerk to bring out the endorsement from the Judge another lawyer who had been watching the events came out and said to me, "You need to get a lawyer. There are some things you have to do but you need to get a lawyer to help you." He walked away quickly, looking back towards the courtroom seeming to see if my ex's lawyer had seen him. He hadn't.
So I am going to Legal Aid tomorow, putting a lien on the house and getting Legal Aid, which I will of course have to pay back later but I can't risk this bullshit being believed. (Long post, I know.... thanks for reading.
Brad
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160
Why ? Why? WHY???
by rune inthis topic has been rolling around in my head for some time.
i don't expect that i'll write it perfectly as it needs to be articulated in different ways for different people...but i will do my best.
and worst of all, i am not expecting any kind of response that will satisfy me.
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formerout
Rune,
Have you seen the movie Mrs. Doubtfire? When Robin Williams' character is being interviewed by the social worker he cracks a few jokes. The social worker, in a very overbearing and rude manner, says "Do you think you're funny Mr.Whatever?" (I can't remember the character's name.)
He replies, "I used to think I was funny. But you however have convinced me that I am not. Thank you very much for pointing that out to me."
I feel the same way about your replies to me and every other post I have read. (I haven't read all of them.) I thought you wanted some objective viewpoints. It seems as though you don't want that. It seems as though you want to tell everybody how messed up they are, potentially in order to satify your need to express anger.
While doing it on this relatively anonymous forum is much safer than doing it in society as a whole, it still does not tend to make people admire you very much.
From the posts I have read and your subsequent comments to them it seems to me that the more open-minded, objective and quite frankly, loving people are the more you are condemning them.
Go ahead and vent if you need to, my fellow Canuck, but don't expect to convert any of us who may see the world with glasses that have a little bit more of a "rose colour" to them. Some of us like to live in what you consider our "delusional world". I'll be here smiling and with open arms when you want to join me, my friend.
Brad
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160
Why ? Why? WHY???
by rune inthis topic has been rolling around in my head for some time.
i don't expect that i'll write it perfectly as it needs to be articulated in different ways for different people...but i will do my best.
and worst of all, i am not expecting any kind of response that will satisfy me.
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formerout
Interesting points Carmel. It made me think about a couple of things. As humans we do, as you said, subject ourselves to laws all the time (driving etc.) but we tend to try to avoid it in bigger laws that govern the Universe.
In another sense, if we look at the fact that we treat all humans as equals now as being a big step, it is hard to move beyond that to accepting that all creatures on the Earth and in the Universe, for that matter, are on equal terms with each other.
It's interesting that the greatest minds all seemed to ignore the things that a lot of us place importance on. Einstein, for example dressed the same all the time because he didn't want to use his brain to determine things like dress when there were so many greater thoughts for his mind to process.
Brad