Should I teach my kids about Santa Claus? (Lie vs. Harmless Fantasy)

by AlmostAtheist 62 Replies latest jw friends

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  AlmostAtheist

  My wife and I got on a discussion about something I never would've guessed we'd need to. She wants to teach our new baby about Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, & Tooth Fairy, but I don't. Of course, as Witnesses we never would have taught that, and I have to acknowledge that I may only be reasoning using that old set of values.

  I don't want to look into my kid's eyes and tell her something that I know for a fact isn't true. It's not like a conversation about UFO's or angels or evolution, where I can have a view, but allow for the idea that some other view might be true. Santa simply doesn't exist in the sense that he is taught to children. Gina points out that my Dad taught me about Santa and all that, and finding out it was all a story didn't affect me. I didn't hold it against them, or question other things they taught me. That's true.

  Gina feels that it's cheating the kids to not let them have this make-believe fun. She thinks there is a joy to be had in putting a tooth under your pillow and having it magically become money in the morning. I don't disagree that it would be fun for them, but I don't think that's the point.

  I can't seem to get my head around this one. I don't want to deny something genuinely fun to my child (it's too late for my 6 year old!), but I also have this deep-seated aversion to telling her something that isn't true.

  How have you guys handled this? Anything you can toss my way?

  Thanks!

  Dave
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  Big Tex

  Howdy Dave.

  I don't want to look into my kid's eyes and tell her something that I know for a fact isn't true.

  That's how I feel. I understand the thinking that some have, the wonder of fantasty and all, but one day the child will realize Santa Claus isn't real. I would not my child to know I told them a lie. I remember I was furious with my parents when I found out Santa Claus wasn't true. I really believed it, and I trusted what my parents told me. Which considering how bad my parents were, maybe shows how stupid I was!

  Having said that, I let them watch cartoons about Santa Claus, in fact last night we watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. But to me, a line is crossed with Santa Claus. Harmless fantasy, to me at least, is comic books, or Pokemon, or cartoons for that matter. My kids know Spiderman is not real, and they know if they fall off of a cliff they will die.

  If you don't mind me asking Dave, what reasons does your wife give as to why she wants to tell the baby about Santa Claus?

  Chris
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  minimus

  Who cares?? Is it going to ruin the child?? Is he or she going to mistrust you?/ Most kids that believe in Santa Claus aren't screwed up because of it.
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  Leolaia

  AA....There are plenty of things in this wide world for children to have a wonder of magic and mystery about, as well as have fun with make believe. I also think that many kids know that there is some doubt out there that Santa Claus isn't real, for those messages also appear readily in our culture. Essentially, this whole Christmas Santa thing is adults trying to play make believe with their children. If that truth were revealed honestly to their children, maybe kids may still want to play make-believe with the Santa idea and still not feel deceived??

  I wonder if Fred Rogers ever weighed in on this one. He really understood how kids think and feel and I would respect his opinion on the matter.
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  confusedjw

  Fairy tales don't hurt kids in my opinion. For instance my son believed that the generation that saw 1914 would see the end and that is was very soon. I told him this myself many times. He no longer believes it and he's fine.

  On the other hand the wide eyed glee from a child when they see Santa's Sled on the Weather Radar could cause them, in later life, to perpetuate the lie of Santa by buying presents for their kids and having family come over on Saturnaila.(sp?)
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  Duncan

  Hi Dave,

  As you can imagine, this forum has discussed this from time to time.

  Here's my take on it from a few years ago:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/16312/1.ashx

  Duncan.

  ps - just as a topical note about the modern world we live in: a few years back my younger son would write his fairly traditional note to Santa, telling him all about what he hoped to get for Christmas. Yesterday my lad, now 11, e-mailed me a fully-costed spreadsheet, complete with web-links.
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  Fleur

  My parents never told me about the Santa Myth. Being raised JW, I came home from preschool one day laughing and said to my mom "You're never going to believe this. They told me at school there's some fat guy in a red suit who gives presents to all the kids in the whole world in one night."

  Even at 3 I was a skeptic LOL.

  We started celebrating when my daughter was turning 4. I told her that a lot of parents tell their kids about Santa as if he were real, but that Christmas presents really come from the hard work of people who love you. I also taught her that generosity is the best lesson in the Santa belief and that is a lesson everyone should learn; give all you can, and give often.

  She still has plenty of magical thinking and belief in fairy tales without the Santa myth. I hope you guys can come to an agreement on this...one that you can both live with. Ah, the joys of parenting are many, varied and splendered LOL.

  hugs

  essie
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  franklin J

  My immediate reaction upon exiting the JW faith was that I was not going to teach my kids about Santa . However when my kids arrived 15 years later, my wife who NEVER was a JW had other ideas. She INSISTED they grow up like her ( she had a VERY ideallic childhood; the kind stories are wriiten about).

  My kids grew up believing in Santa ( they would never sit on his lap though) and learned reality through their peers when they were about 5 or 6. No crisis; just a giggle and acceptence. They know that the gifts come from us. And every year we go through the ritual. To this day my wife telling them that if they do not believe; Santa will not give them anything. Sure, we will go along for the fun of it.....

  The joy they experienced --and as a parent I could clearly see--was priceless and irreplaceable. What could possibly be the harm in delighting children?

  Is the Santa lie any different than the JW teachings lie; like , " you are going to live forever"? At least the Santa lie brings joy to countless little faces and hearts.

  My wife and I still believe....
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  heathen

  I am a christmas hater myself so would encourage you to tell your kids the truth , the sooner they learn to distiquish fact from fantasy the better for them . Fairy tales is one thing but for kids to walk around believing a complete lie is another . It just seems that parents feel it's cute so they want to preserve this childlike sense for themselves . I mean it could be damaging say your kid starts believing in the boogey man or some other riddiculous phenomena .
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  funkyderek

  Children aren't born believing in Santa Claus. They start believing in him because their parents tell them he exists and they trust their parents. They continue to believe in him because their parents sustain the myth. Often, parents will employ elaborate deceptions to fool their children when they start doubting. To me, it seems to be a bad precedent to set. Parents should be honest with their children while providing information appropriate to their age.

  Children can enjoy the myth of Santa without believing he really exists, just as they can enjoy stories about Harry Potter, Cinderella, Jesus or other fictional characters.