Thegoodgirl

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Posts by Thegoodgirl

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  5

  birthday advice #2

  by tsunami_rid3r in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok, i need help figuring out what to give this girl for her birthday again, since i'll be in town now.

  i was thinking of the following: .

  1)practice happy birthday on guitar, go up to her door and surprise her playing it and give her mom the lava rock from hawaii(her mom was jokingly saying i cant come back to their house unless i bring something from hawaii) .

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  Thegoodgirl

  I like the #1 and #2 combo. Sounds cute.
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  47

  How long is too long?

  by Insomniac in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  just a question, for those who might know.

  how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.

  i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.

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  Thegoodgirl

  Wow, you are in the EXACT situation my aunt was in about 4 years ago. She had been married and divorced as had the guy she had been dating for SEVEN years. She always wanted to marry him, and they really were in love (it seemed to me). They actually lived together for a while, and the whole time she kept trying to get the strength up to say "marry me or I leave". A few times, she moved out from him just to say, "I'm not moving back until you agree to marriage." It was something important to her as well. (And she has never been a JW or overly involved in church, etc.) So this went on, and toward the end, they were on again/off again for about a year. She finally got counseling and got some self-esteem. She realized this is just something so important to her, and by him not agreeing to help her reach this life goal, then he just really didn't love her to the extent that she needed from him. they were both sad, but she finally broke it off. She moved back in with Grandma and Grandpa, got a second bachelor's degree, changed careers, and is much happier. She took another class to learn a new language, met a nice, funny, and respectful-to-her-wishes guy, and they got married! She's been married for about a year or two, and she seems really content. She used to be always sort of on edge and quiet, but I would say now she overall seems more hopeful and content/calm.

  So that's one way the scenario could play out for you. I disagree with most of the above posters and I say you should leave if he cannot respect you enough to swallow his fears and marry you. No, marriage is not that different than dating (it's like you go to his house, but you never go home!) and you do have that "prestige" in the family and among friends that you can't describe unless you've been married, but if it's something you want, he should do it for you. You've waited long enough.

  By the way, I think my aunt regrets staying with that non-marrying boyfriend for so long. She always says in the end he didn't respect her wishes enough, and she put up with it for too long. She's now about late 40's, so she's like 10 years older than you. You're not that old.
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  57

  Would you date or marry outside of your race?

  by Dimples in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am bi-racial and was wondering would you date or marry outside of your race?

  how would you feel if your children dated or married outside of their race?.

  dimples

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  Thegoodgirl

  Being raised a Witness has a huge impact on my answer to the question. We were raised beleiving that brothers around the whole world were our own brothers and sisters, so as long as they were a JW, no problem, race not an issue. I do remember my mom saying, "It's okay to marry a black man, just know that you will have lots of problems with people being prejudiced toward you." It was true at the time, us living in a small rural Southern town in the early 80's, but now, I think it's much more acceptable, especially in big cities.

  Funny, a friend of mine just came up for a visit. He's from my area, and was doing some work at my old high school, and he said he has never seen more interracial couples than at any other high school. I was kind of proud of that. My little town has come a long way, I guess.

  When I stop to think about it, I have dated equally people of my race and of other races. 50/50. But I married someone of another "race" I guess you could say, though I really don't think it plays much of a role in our marriage.
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  24

  assemlbly time passing tricks

  by stopthepain in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as a kid ,you could almost certainly kill time at an dc ,sad{as richie rich put it},or a the "2 day assembly" in many various ways.. this has probably been done before,but here we go.. 1--watch the audience as a whole,they almost lookm like ants or something,because thier was always people moving around.peole figiting,taking vigorous notes,people getting up and down for a walk,or a bathroom break,attendants barking at the teens to sit down.i used to find pleasur in watching everyon fidget as a group.. 2--watch the peole who where doing sign language for the deaf.i would always try to start matching words for signs.another way a 10 year old mind can wander.. 3--locate all friends of yours,chicks you have a bad witness boy crush on,obsess for a few hours,and how you can stalk the hot girls.. 4--what too eat{pre modern era}you know,lemon lime or cola shasta,apple or cheese danish,vanilla or chocalte swiss miss,hoagie or dri chicken w/mayo packet?????????

  ?descisions ,descisions!!!!!.

  5---count each minute out in my head.there was a huge digital clock at the providence civic center.when the clock changed,i would try to count 60 seconds to an exact point the clock would change again.clock manipulation,a huge witness kid skill.you could will the cloock to move,or so you thought.. 6---think about what flavor slush i wanted at break,and wether i would buy the cheap binoculars,or the mini -fan.those toys would occupy my brain for hours.. 7---wait with baited breath for the drama.when those lights went down,,,,,,,,,,,sheer ecxtasy!!

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  Thegoodgirl

  Wow, used to think people like you posters above were so bad and disrespectful. I would have never beleived I would be discussing these tactics with you and thinking you guys are actually pretty cool, years later...

  I was the one who would try to sit there diligently taking notes and understanding the crap they were saying, and thinking, this doesn't make sense because I'm not smart enough to understand it, or because I keep daydreaming and if only I would pay attention I would get it. Now I see, it really had no logic, and how did I ever sit through three days of it. But you have to admit at the time, it was exciting guessing, "is THIS the talk leading up to the new release???"
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  7

  What do you all think?

  by DazedAndConfused in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i would like to write a book on the experiences of people who have left jw's.

  this is my plan.

  i would like to be able to quote people's experiences (under their own names or online names).

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  Thegoodgirl

  I think a lot of people have this same idea. I've often thought about writing my own life story, but now I realize a lot of people have a really similar life story.

  On another forum a woman was doing this and I e-mailed her my story, she was really nice and professional about it, making sure I didn't want the details changed to hide my identity, etc. (Maybe it was you!) This was about 2 years ago. Anyway, I know where you're coming from, and I say go for it, sounds like a fun project. Just keep in mind all those psychologists have their own interpretation, so even if you don't use one, I'm sure the book will be interesting. If you do use one, use several so as to get a well rounded opinion.
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  54

  Are You Happy With Your Life???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  basically, are you happily single, married, divorced, separated?

  do you wish that your life could be happier?

  do you believe that life sucks and then you die, anyway?

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  Thegoodgirl

  No, I'm not happy. I'm happier than I would have been as a JW for sure, but things did not turn out as I'd envisioned. I guess I'll go get off my butt and go improve things...

  ("Now GO TAKE ON THE DAY!" --Laura Schlischinger (sp?))
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  59

  Allow myself to introduce....myself

  by pele38 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i must say, i never thought that i would see the day when i would find a site about disillusioned (mostly) jehovah's witnesses, but low and behold...one truly exists.

  first let me start off by saying thank you to the creators of this site, and i'll have you know that i've been lurking for several days now and i am just finding the time to finally log on.

  i've been a member of the borg for over 20 years now, been baptised for about 14 of those years and now i find myself in the most unusual of places.

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  Thegoodgirl

  Welcome, Pele! I think it's great that you're still going to meetings, yet "lurking" around here. And there are no such thing as apostates, guys! That's just a word the JWs made up, like "Boogyman".
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  28

  Running??????

  by vitty in

  1. social
  2. physical

  .

  im really interested in starting to jog or run.. what would be a good speed to start and how far would be a good goal?.

  i know power walking is about 6k an hour, for 30 to 40 minutes but what about running??

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  Thegoodgirl

  Hey, my goal is to run a marathon next year, so I know I need to start running now.

  Saturday: ran/walked 45 minutes

  Sunday: walked 4 hours

  Monday: nothin'

  Anyone in the Chicago area need a running partner to chat with about x-jw while sweating bullets?
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  10

  Getting wedding invitations from people who really don't know you or care

  by LongHairGal in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am sure many people get wedding invitations from people who don't really know you or care about you but who invited you just the same.

  sometimes they got cancellations and had to fill a number or they want $$.

  maybe you went because it "wouldn't look good" if you didn't.

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  Thegoodgirl

  We got an invitation and it took us a week to figure out who it was from. We had me them once!
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  19

  Funny little story to share with my fellow pet lovers…

  by jeanniebeanz in

  1. social
  2. family

  dumb-dumb the cat has become the neighborhood sweetheart.

  it is common to see little neighborhood children and adults alike stoop to pet him in passing.

  he often makes the rounds in the evenings, going from door to door in the complex and saying hello through any open doors.

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  Thegoodgirl

  Cute picture of the cat with the kid!

  My wonderful cat was rescued last year, so we got him as a half-grown kitten, and he is just the best thing that ever happened to me. He's taught himself to fetch out of despiration. (I'd sit here with my books at my desk. I'd occasionally throw something for him to chase, but I was too lazy to go get it and throw it again, so my cat learned to just bring it back to me!)