" i really just want to get an idea if athiest worry about the afterlife i do not wish to force my beliefs on anyone. "
Why would an atheist worry about an afterlife? That's like worrying about an after-smoking-a-joint or worrying about after-going-to-sleep or worrying after a great orgasm. Being an atheist is liberating that way. You don't really give a shit about what happens because you agree with Salomon that being a live dog is better than being a dead lion. Life's uncertain. Eat your dessert first.
If God were to ask me why I stopped believing in him, I would answer: Because I was wrong:
You see God, I had no reason to believe in you in the first place. I did because I was taught to by everyone else ever since I was a child. I thought about you a lot in those years, but I never really heard from you.
There were times when I really needed you and I guess you were too busy. How could I possibly know that you were there? Then, I learned a whole lot of new stuff. And every ounce of intellect that you gave me showed me that the more I looked for you the less and less there was to find. Sorry God, but it seems you hid from me.
At a time when I really believed in you and dedicated my life to you, you allowed my world to crumble as it was battered by the greatest deception I had ever experienced. I lost my friends, my family and my way of life as I knew it. You gave me the cruelest gift of all: The loss of the very best hope and innocence and goodness I had come to expect. You made me that way.
Even so, there was always something in my feelings that wanted to talk to someone greater than anyone around. Once, I went to a very old forest in Main. I sat in the penetrating silence and had the sensation you were there. Later, I watched from a beach in California and soaked in a spectacular sunset and thought you were there with me or among the fiery clouds. Another time, I looked at a bead of water on a bright flower on one of the greyest days I'd ever seen and thought I saw your reflection. But it wasn't you. It was just something I was feeling.
Yes, I'm made wonderfully. But you never really showed me how wonderful I can be. You left me to my own to figure it all out. You left the entire world on its own to figure it out. Then I realized that you were never there to begin with.
Man this rum in my snifter is pretty damned good! Thanks mother nature.