Posts by Aude

45

To Rebel or not to Rebel? that is the question!

by freedomlover in

i am truly looking for your honesty on this issue...not that i think any of you have been dishonest - i just don't want the sugar coated version of pollyanna lines.. i have spoken about this subject privately with one of you - ;) - and also with my hubby.

however, i'm wondering if i'm in the minority here when i bring this subject up.

being raised a jw i had to be so straight for so long.

Aude_Sapere

A tattoo and piercing are first on my list of things to do to rebel and probably some ;weed ;shortly following that. ;I just don't know if that will scratch the itch enough....

If you are that ready, I'd go for the permanent tatt and maybe put it somewhere that is conspicuously exposed but can readily be covered incase you find yourself in a situation where you don't want to flaunt your rebellion. Upper arm or back of shoulder??

And the navel piercing.

Open a christmas savings account for 2006??

Burn the books. (Tear up a few first.)

Contact Silent Lambs. Let them know you can be a 'safe house' (probably need family consensus on this one since it's their home too).

I sky-dived. But I don't think I'd have done it with young children. And it's pretty expensive for a newbie.

Couple months ago I bought a used motorcycle. First I took the Rider's safety class. That in itself was fun and felt a little like rebellion. My JW family just rolled their eyes at me.

I really think this is UNhealthy, but rather than buy a whole pack of cigarettes, maybe just bum one off a friend - or even more daring, a STRANGER! Just smoke and chat with them for a few minutes then be off and about your normal, decent life. A simple 'thanks' to your smoking partner and you are gone.

Take a philosophy class at the local community college. (or a religion class.)

I think you can find ways to 'rebel' - or just testdrive your freedom - in short, easy to complete, inexpensive, uncomplicated, innocous ways. All without really missing a beat in your other roles and responsibilites.

Enjoy!!

-Aude.

PS: I hope you will share your 'rebellious' activities with us so some can life vicariously and other can get the nerve!

63

why cant they see how cruel they are??

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

why just because i am dfed (march) can my family and all the friends ive ever known tell me i am dead to them?.

why have i missed two important family weddings and been told i ruined them coz everyone was upset?.

why if ihave tried to please them and tried once to get reinstated and now finally felt i have to be true to myself have i caused such pain all over again?.

Aude_Sapere

why do you thinkit is that jws cant think for themselves when they are hurting to!

I think because of the pain they are in and the pain they know they will face, it's actually easier to point fingers at you (the 'perceived' cause of their pain) and the cruelness helps them act out their own pain.

I think the cruelty may be a sort of defense mechanism.

Maybe??

-Aude.

45

To Rebel or not to Rebel? that is the question!

by freedomlover in

i am truly looking for your honesty on this issue...not that i think any of you have been dishonest - i just don't want the sugar coated version of pollyanna lines.. i have spoken about this subject privately with one of you - ;) - and also with my hubby.

however, i'm wondering if i'm in the minority here when i bring this subject up.

being raised a jw i had to be so straight for so long.

Aude_Sapere

"I'm not sure if that helps you any...but maybe just let your hair down a bit. It doesn't mean go out and get a tattoo or piercings ..."

Or maybe it does.

I've been tossing the idea around for a while now. Something small and hidden but only YOU know it's there. If that is still a little too daring, maybe a henna tattoo - it will fade away after a few weeks so no permanent markings...

Or a navel piercing?

I think it might be a safer rebellion than some others.

-Aude.

12

A woman!!!!!!!!

by Gill in

i was speaking to my mother and was informed by her that in their congregation, in the leicester area, a woman does all the accounting and paperwork now.

this is a congregation with 6 elders and 7 mss.. is this normal, that a woman has to do the secretarial work?

what's the point of having a congregation secretary then?.

Aude_Sapere

Congregation secretary handles confidential documents and has access to much other confidential material. It is surprising to me that they allow someone other than a 'spirit-appointed' man handle this area of service.

-Aude.

10

Your family still thinks you believe, only you wont admit it to them.

by free2beme in

jw
friends

my spouses grandfather is in the hospital and only has a couple days left to live.

last night we were there and my in-laws decided this would be a good time to preach to the their fleshly relatives, as they are the only ones in the family that are witnesses.

my father-in-law has not been active in the witnesses, just attends meetings, so his ability to explain their faith is a little on the weak side.

Aude_Sapere

Sure they think that. Because that's what they are told to think.

They are convinced that we know it's the 'truth' without giving thought that perhaps we know it is not.

-Aude.

8

How to explain, need some advice.

by PoppyR in

jw
friends

to give you some background, i'm married, two pre-teen boys.

i haven't been to meetings regularly for about a year, and not at all now for about 2 months.

previously we were all hit and miss, so it's only very recently that my boys have taken any notice.

Aude_Sapere

I don't understand your husband's status with the org. Is he the boys' father? Do all of you live together?

I believe that honesty is the best policy. Surely they realize that something is up. IMO, better to at least give them a little information than to let them think that your distraction/disinterest has anything to do with them of their actions.

You can tell them that you are 're-thinking' your beliefs, 'taking a break from the KH'.

Sorry but I don't know much about your personal situation or if you have decided to fully leave the org.

Besides that, I'm not really not sure what else to say other than: bttt (hoping someone else will!!)

-Aude.

128

It Seems That My Children Are Not Trained

by Gary1914 in

jw
friends

i just returned home from the kingdom hall.

i am an elder.. after the meeting all the elders were called to the back room.

i thought this was an impromptu elders' meeting.

Aude_Sapere

Yes, there are other small children in the Kingdom Hall. But I am the only elder who has young children. I am supposed to be the example that the publishers with children follow. I don't want to be an example, but there it is.

Control.

I used to bring coloring books and crayons to the Hall for the kids and that kept them quiet. But the PO said this was no good because the kids should be "clutching" (his word) their Bibles and starring at the speaker.

Control.

I did try to sit in the Back Room with them for a while and was told that elders should be a part of the audiences so that the brothers could see them and be encouraged.

Control.

I sometimes wish I had the courage to just get up and leave. Especially since I no longer believe the majority of stuff they teach. However, I have too much family tied up in the organization and I just cannot extricate myself from the witnesses now.

Cult.

I did try to sit in the Back Room with them for a while and was told that elders should be a part of the audiences so that the brothers could see them and be encouraged.

Back to this comment after I read it for the third time... Is your responsiblity to be encouraging to the 'brothers' in the audience or to your children.?? Who exactly is the object of your primary responsibility.

As the adult daughter of a former elder and PO, I can't begin tell you the effect that my father's organizational responsibility had on his children. The need to control every aspect of his family's lives eventually took it's toll. His marriage ended very messily after 35 years. One child refuses contact with him. One child ended up in a mental hospital. Two are on antidepressants. One is terrified of being too harsh on his own kids so he delegates ALL discipline to his wife - who is also burdened with many other responsibilites. (Four of the five are out of the organization = terrible odds.)

We were humiliated in public (both at the KH, and away - at home, in the front yard and in other people's houses). Once you start on a pattern of controlling every nuance of your child, you will need to be consistant. Your wide-eyed and fun-loving children will learn to sneak around. You will be forcing them to lead double lives so as not to bring reproach on your position. If they don't sneak around, they will be in need of mental health treatment.

I would much rather my children be comfortable in being themselves around me and knowing that I love and respect them for the unique and curious people that they are. This allows me to be able to guide their natural inclinations in the manner that is best for each of them as individuals rather than try to force them to be dull automatrons who eventually become who they forced to be due to excessive and inappropriate pressure to conform.

Were you also raised in the organization?

-Aude.

128