I am sorry to hear of the loss of your family and your distress. Your comment
“ I didn't say much during the meeting because I was still in shock for what I had done. I think the elders thought I wasn't sorry and wasn't repentant so they disfellowshipped me.”
That reminded me of a case where a young sister did the same as you, a single action, she told my wife and I arranged a committee. I was not on it but it seemed a simple case that would be a reproof. She came to us in tears after the hearing having been d/f’d . We helped her draft an appeal letter and upshot was that the 2nd committee reversed the decision. I was not popular with the my own elders. I am sure though that she clammed up in fear and they miss read her. Elders are not usually insightful.
In this case I do feel that there is more from the past that impacted on their decision. But again, I am sorry for the situation you find yourself in