Star, welcome aboard and congratulations for working out in six years what it took me a lifetime to realise.
May I add my word to the others who say, DO NOTHING RASH. allow a bit of time . You believe the dubs may respect you for having made a decision of conscience. Far from it . They will probably conclude that you jumped before you were pushed, and had something to hide.
It is possible to take time away, a couple in my wifes cong. are in the same position . He comes, but wife has apparently stopped.
The elders will see it as their duty to shepherd you but you do not have to talk in depth. Be evasive. If your husband will co operate he can pull the card of "Headship" and ask them not to push you hard.
Take time, do not put husband in a more difficult position than he has to be. Incidentally, the elders would not advise him to leave you. That would be grossly unscriptural.
Best of luck ,we have all been there..Let us know how things get on .