I have often said that I still have to have some contact with my wife's current congo. It is better to be involved a little. It helps her ,or so I like to think, I provide someone she can moan to when the elders upset her and that policy has kept us happily still married.
So what about them as people? Most of them are on a different planet and don't know I exist. A few closer friends to her are good genuine people. One elder is friendly and at least tries to reach out... The other elders are completely indifferent to us both...
Back in the day when I was involved , I have known 2 or 3 really brilliant elders who could manage well and really cared. They are long gone now.
In short, dubs are just people like the ones you work with . If you're lucky you get on ok . That is all you can hope for