Posts by toladest

38

Hope everyone survived the big day!

by Hope4Others in

jw
friends

now that memorial is past i hope that all is well for everyone mentally, physically, emotionally.

many were in a great turmoil as to feelings and what to do about.

going , so how are we all today?

toladest

I missed the memorial!!!! hahahhaa NAAAA I didn't miss it at all! I have not been to one in about 9 years.

9

Hows everyone doing?

by ScoobySnax in

jw
friends

been a while since i been on this forum and just wanted to know how everyones doing.

i remember a few, minimus, valis, bigtex, nina, poppers, etc etc.

lifes pretty good here at the mo, infact never been happier.

Hi Sky Captain. I have to say, this board as well as ones like it really helped me to get out and get over the WTS. I was DFed and left devastated. I was NOT ready to be thrown out and did NOTHING wrong to be DFed for. Here I learned that there were many others like me. I learned being an apostate was NOT at all what I had been taught it was all my life. I learned that there is life after the WTS. After a while I felt I was supporting others as much as they were supporting me. This forum gave me a voice and a chance to go to Brooklyn for the first Silentlambs march! It was so very empowering after having been their victim. I got a chance to stand in front of their building (of course they all hid inside and locked the gates) and say what I felt. They could NO LONGER hurt me and THEY were afraid of US! What a turn around.

I hope you can gain as much here as I did over the years. Life can be TRUELY wonderful!

Laurie

31

I'm back..JW's at my door left stunned and in tears

by toladest in

jw
friends

well, i'm back after a couple years away from this site.

i still recognize a lot of names here, but there are a lot of new ones too.

i wanted to share an expierience i had with two witness "sisters" at my door a couple weeks ago.

toladest

Hi Wildfire. I'm glad to see you are still hanging around here. It really is amazing what abuse can do to a person. Give your daughter time. I happen to know that her not talking to you is not ALL about you not being able to help her at the time and she and I both KNOW that you were a victim of HORRIBLE abuses at the time. A lot has to do with her husband and his hang-ups with you. He is controling her life and it is just easier for her to not fight him on the subject, but she has told me that she does love you very much. It's sad to see her victimized again. She is just existing. I wish I could do more for her. Trust me. I have offered.

It's crazy how many witness abusers I encountered as a JW. I am very lucky that her step-dad did not get ahold of me, but he definately said VERY inapropriate things to me and watched r-rated movies with people having sex in my presence as a young teenager. I even went to the elders, as you know, to try to get help for you and the 5 kids. They told me they could do nothing about it and told me not to go to authorities because it would "bring reproach on Jehovah's name". I was 15 and a very "faithful" witness. I regret daily that I did not do more at the time. Of course my own abuses had only ended a short time before that. Everyone I knew seemed to be abused. It was almost "normal".

Hang in there Wildfire. I know your life is very difficult and you have a LOT on your plate even now. I wish the best for you always. Maybe you can head up and visit once we get to Tennesee.

I love you.

Laurie

31

I'm back..JW's at my door left stunned and in tears

by toladest in

jw
friends

well, i'm back after a couple years away from this site.

i still recognize a lot of names here, but there are a lot of new ones too.

i wanted to share an expierience i had with two witness "sisters" at my door a couple weeks ago.

toladest

There is still a link at silentlambs.org. http://silentlambs.org/education/dateline_trans.cfm

Lots of links to stories. My ex-father in law was pictured. His name is Daniel Fitzwater Sr.

Laurie

9

Hows everyone doing?

by ScoobySnax in

jw
friends

been a while since i been on this forum and just wanted to know how everyones doing.

i remember a few, minimus, valis, bigtex, nina, poppers, etc etc.

lifes pretty good here at the mo, infact never been happier.

toladest

Hey Scooby. I remember you too. I just popped in after a couple years off the board. Life for me has changed DRASTICALLY.

My husband had a mental breakdown due to the severe abuse he endured at the hands of his father and step-mother as a child. He left me and the kids behind. I worry about him but he doesn't want anything to do with anyone connected to his past. He has no connection with his mother or siblings or any old friends. He has alienated all of us. He just married a woman that has already cheated on him several times before the wedding and she is VERY controlling and abusive. He has admitted he doesn't love her and knows she doesn't love him but feels this is the life he deserves. He forgets anything unpleasant and I feel has severe dissociative disorder, but he won't seek help.

My kids and I are moving on the best we can and will be moving to Tennessee next month as that is where my sisters are. I have a good career and am sure I can pick it up there. I have learned a lot since leaving the WTS and it has only made me stronger. The biggest thing I think I learned is that life does go on even after tramatic events and loosing people you love. It's important to stay positive and work at making life better. It's also important not to dwell too long on things that you can't control or do anything about.

It is hard losing my husband and best friend after 19 years of marriage. My avitar was chosen back when we were together and was how I felt we were. It's from "The Notebook" and I was so impressed by the mans love for his wife. But I realize that his leaving me had nothing to do with me. He has left his kids too and he was an amazing husband and father. He snapped and is no longer the same person.

Life is slowly getting better and I am mostly happy. :)

I'm glad you started this thread so I can check in on old friends too!

Laurie (Fitzwater) Gendreau

31

I'm back..JW's at my door left stunned and in tears

by toladest in

jw
friends

well, i'm back after a couple years away from this site.

i still recognize a lot of names here, but there are a lot of new ones too.

i wanted to share an expierience i had with two witness "sisters" at my door a couple weeks ago.

toladest

Nathan, I remember you. Unfortunately Daniel Fitzwater was released from prison. He was Disfellowshipped a couple months later. He probably picked the smoking back up in there. He smoked at times as a JW as well and threatened his son that if he told he would let people know his son wet the bed. You can see a picture of him on the Nevada Sex offenders website, although I have heard that he may actually reside in Minnestota.

Laurie

31

I'm back..JW's at my door left stunned and in tears

by toladest in

jw
friends

well, i'm back after a couple years away from this site.

i still recognize a lot of names here, but there are a lot of new ones too.

i wanted to share an expierience i had with two witness "sisters" at my door a couple weeks ago.

toladest

I would have loved to hear the conversation between them after that! I hope it makes them take a serious look at their religion. Unfortunately, some people never will. My mother is one of those people.

Laurie

31

I'm back..JW's at my door left stunned and in tears

by toladest in

jw
friends

well, i'm back after a couple years away from this site.

i still recognize a lot of names here, but there are a lot of new ones too.

i wanted to share an expierience i had with two witness "sisters" at my door a couple weeks ago.

toladest

Well, I'm back after a couple years away from this site. I still recognize a lot of names here, but there are a lot of new ones too.

I wanted to share an expierience I had with two witness "sisters" at my door a couple weeks ago. I told the sisters right away that I was raised as a JW and my mother is still a JW. They of course asked why I was no longer a practicing JW. SOOOOO I told them. I went into how my father in law (Now ex-father in law. Thats another long story but results from the mental breakdown my husband had as a result of severe abuse as a child) ) was an Elder and congergation overseeer and how he abused AT LEAST 17 girls over a 20 year time period. I told them how even when he went to prison for it he remained a JW in good standing. I told them they would not accept the sworn testimony of 4 girls at his trial as proof he was guilty or his own lies that he was CLEARLY caught in. I told them how Mario Mareno fron the WTS was AT THE TRIAL and about the lawsuit against the JWs and still he sat in prison and EVEN PREACHED to fellow inmates. I told them that I had loved Jehovah VERY much and I was a faithful follower. I told them how I used to get 20 - 30 hours per month in field service and even auxillary pioneered for a time. I was active on the ministry school and had NEVER done anything to be reproved or DFed for. But as the trial went on against my father in law I asked the elders in my hall (he was in another hall accross the country in Yerington, NV) why he was not being held accountable. They told me to have faith and wait on Jehovah. They said that when Jehovah wanted to "bring this matter out" he would do so. I said how much more "out" could it be???? There was a trial going on. I kept asking and kept bringing it up. I was not talking to others in the hall about it, besides my mother who was a pioneer at the time. I asked for her to help me understand it. I saw lie after lie from the elders in the Yerington hall and from the WTS itself. Finally the elders in my hall decided I should be DFed for apostacy. I was SHOCKED! APOSTACY???? Anyway, it's a long story but I appealed and the appeals brothers disagreed with the first brothers, so a letter went to the WTS and they decided I needed to be DFed.

These "sisters" at my door where stunned. I told them I have the proof in my home and they said they believed me. I asked if they had seen the Dateline program about JW's and abuse. They said they heard about it. I told them my father in law was one of the people mentioned on that program and I could show them by court records and a letter from the WTS's circuit overseer to the WTS that they knew of 17 victims. These were not victims the authorities knew of and the Watchtower Society used eclesiatical (sp?) privledge to keep that info to themselves. The authorities only knew of 4 victims. That means that these MUST have been witnesses that over the years had reported the abuse to the elders, and yet nothing was EVER reported to the authorities by them.

Both of these sisters were very kind to me and one was even crying. They said they were SO sorry to hear about this and just didn't know what to say. They said they could have some elders drop by to "help" me if I wanted them to. I told them I do not want to go back to a religion that shunned all the victims of his abuse and kept him in good standing. I have heard since then that he has been DFed .....for smoking.

Laurie

17

Does anybody remember?

by Amber Rose in

toladest

My ex-father in law was shown on that show and I remember that my sister said that a letter was read at the meeting and a talk given (it may have been special since Dan was a former member of that congergation) but they said it was lies and not to watch.

Laurie

4

Do they still DF people???

by toladest in

i posted this under friends first but may be more appropriate here.....

i visited my sister recently (she is not a jw and was never baptized but is very close to my mother and brothers) and she was telling me that they are no longer dfing people.

i told her i heard that too, but that they now announce people as no longer being jw which effectively means the same thing.

toladest

I posted this under friends first but may be more appropriate here..... I visited my sister recently (she is not a JW and was never baptized but is very close to my mother and brothers) and she was telling me that they are no longer DFing people. I told her I heard that too, but that they now announce people as no longer being JW which effectively means the same thing. She said that they don't even do that. My ex-sister in law cheated on my brother and began smoking as well. My sister said that NOTHING was ever announced about her even after having elders visits regarding the issue. She has since married outside the witnesses and still nothing. My sister said she also knows of another incident and no action was taken in regards to any announcements.

Is this accurate? Or maybe the local congergation is handeling it "wrong"? If they are no longer DFing what does that mean for all of us who were DFed? Are we still DFed or what?

I found it weird that one of my brothers is talking to me now after years of not talking to me. He just says we can't discuss spiritual matters. I have not tried to contact my mother or other brothers yet. Not sure if it's got anything to do with this, but I sure would like to know. I haven't been on here much and have not kept up lately. Sorry if this has been discussed before....

Laurie