Posts by toladest

53

Children of the 80's!

by MelbaToast in

jw
friends

alright, i admit, i was a child of the 80s (or what i can remember) but the real reason for this thread is i have noticed that there is quite a few of people on this site that are close to me in age or just a little bit younger or older.

i will be 28 in june.

i think that this period in my life is a deep questioning period, because at younger ages i didnt give a flip about anything jw or ex-jw for that matter.

toladest

Air Supply, REO Speedwagon, Journey, Wham, Huey Lewis & the News, Men at Work, Duran Duran, and who can forget the BEST, Tears for Fears!

Ohhh the music......

I have Sirius radio now so I can still listen to 80's music. We also listen to it on Direct Tv.

I think Sunday night roller skating was big because it was as close to wordly as we could get. (also as previously mentioned a good excuse to hold hands during couples skate.) After a while (thankfully after I had grown up and stopped going) the congergations put a stop to that as well.They said it caused too many problems and the music was too hard to control. Guess the "worldy" folks that run the skating rinks aren't as easily controled as the zombie witnesses. Hey! maybe thats why the trend died! It seems that us JW's were keeping the rinks in business and when we had to stop going.......hmmmmmm

53

Children of the 80's!

by MelbaToast in

jw
friends

alright, i admit, i was a child of the 80s (or what i can remember) but the real reason for this thread is i have noticed that there is quite a few of people on this site that are close to me in age or just a little bit younger or older.

i will be 28 in june.

i think that this period in my life is a deep questioning period, because at younger ages i didnt give a flip about anything jw or ex-jw for that matter.

toladest

Roller Skating Ruled! I loved Roller Skating and we had a group of JW's that met from various congergations every Sunday night in Sarasota Florida. Remeber the tight legged Jeans and Polo shirts. We were REALLY poor and the first brand new shirt I ever got was a pastel pink polo shirt. I think I wore it every Sunday night. You could get 5 people in for $5 on Sunday nights so all I had to do was come up with $1. I would walk up and down the street looking for change just to go. The only ones there on Sunday nights were JW's and a speed skate team, so the skating rink was good about not playing music that was TOO questionable. (a couple elders used to go and they made sure the music was ok)

What was funny was to see all the girls in leg warmers during the summer in Florida. I never had any myself, as I could not afford them, but I really wanted them. heeeheeehee

Most of my memories from the early to mid 80's were bad, but skating was great. The late 80's got better. I was married at age 17 in 1987 and life improved dramatically for me. Still happily married almost 18 years later!

Laurie

88

Do You Personally Know Of Any JW That Was Sexually Abused?

by minimus in

,,,,while they were witnesses?

toladest

WOW KIM! Over 1800! That is truely sad....

I personally know 6 girls that were abused. (Well, more now since the Silentlambs March but I'm not counting them as I did not know them before that) I know the names of 2 others that were abused by a relative and I know of allegations of 12 others that say they were abused by that same relative. I know at least 5 JW abusers and 2 non-JW abusers.

24

The book Crisis of Conscience

by Jim Dee in

jw
friends

i've just finished reading this book

i was brought up in the society, seen the elder arrangement brought in, seen changes and in fighting - and finally sttof down as a snr circuit elder in england because of the abuse issue and the society covering up.

i have also the seen the society flee and cya because of the data protection act in the uk.

toladest

I was struck at how Ray was not bitter. He even defended his former brothers throughout the book. He seemed to imply that most of the GB was misled and trying to do right, but that the way things were proved that these were a bunch of imperfect men that were definately not being brought to decisions by holy spirit as we were all led to believe. After all he was a member for MANY MANY years. He does not seem to carry hate in his heart, not if his book reflects his heart.

Bitter....No Way! Did you really read his books??

49

I was molested for 4 years.

by Adonis in

wow.

i have been carrying my secret for 12 long years.. i told my wife long ago that i was once a witness.

i told her how i was exiled from the congragation 12 years ago after a bout of domestic violence between me and my unbelieving father.

toladest

Adonis, it really saddens me that you have gone through this and that itr has been SO very hard to talk about it . I hope that you will be able to find this place a comfortable place to talk. Maybe if you get started here and see how many more are just like you, then you will be able to bring it to your therapist.

My therapist was awesome! She helped me with "thought stopping" so that I would stop laying in bed at night obsessing over my abuse. She really helped me to think positively and find ways to turn my life to a positive direction.

As far as the elders, I can't tell you what to do, I can only tell you that my expierience with them was aweful. I felt victimized all over again and then they ended up DFing me! That was before all of the publicity that the WTS has faced. I don't know how they would react now, but I certainly would do what you can to warn others in the congergation.

And screw her marriage! If her marriage ends over it it won't be your fault! It would be hers! I am really at a loss as to why the other poster brought that up. YOU should NOT feel guilty for ANY of it. Even if at the time you went along willing. Even if it felt "good". You were a CHILD!!!!! She had NO RIGHT! If it were a girl being abused by a man do you think ANYONE would worry about breaking up his marriage? It is NOT ANY DIFFERENT with you.

I wish the best for you and hope you can find comfort here. Remember you have the RIGHT to do as much OR as little about this as you want to.

Sincerely,

Laurie

7

Need to give credit to this web site & to Vickie!

by toladest in

i did not realize that in my post above about brothers reuniting after 26 years that i failed to mention that it is because of this site that it all happened.. i am scott's wife and i met darrin's common law wife on this board.

neither of us even knew each other existed.

i was talking about dan f and she was here trying to learn more about jw's because of what her man went through as a child.

toladest

I did not realize that in my post above about brothers reuniting after 26 years that I failed to mention that it is because of this site that it all happened.

I am Scott's wife and I met Darrin's common law wife on this board. Neither of us even knew each other existed. I was talking about Dan F and she was here trying to learn more about JW's because of what her man went through as a child. She saw my posts and introduced herself. Because of that we got the guys to talk on the phone once and since then Scott has been wanting to see Darrin again.

I applaud Vickie for seeking ways to understand her husband's issues and not giving up on him. When at the reunion I got to talk to another wonderful family that knew Scott, Darrin, Dawn and their family growing up. They were also victimized by Dan F and have really helped the kids through the years. They were there through the trial with Darrin and Dawn. (we could not be there at the time as we lived 3000 miles away and had no money to travel) I was told by them that Vickie has made a huge impact on Darrin's life and seems she has really been good for him.

Thank you Vickie!

And thanks to this board admin and the people here that make this a pleasant place to be able to come to and vent and talk. Because of you, two brothers now have a much better chance of healing.

21

What bible story....

by MelbaToast in

jw
friends

freaked you out the most as a kid?.

was it the great teacher book?

or the ever popular "my book of bible stories?

toladest

Jezebel used to creep me out! She looked demon possessed. (And all because she wore too much makeup. hahaha) The thought of her being thrown out the window and splattering on the ground below in a twisted pile of mangaled flesh.....Well you get the picture. That is what always went through my sick little mind.

Oh and by the way, it was Abraham that almost sacrificed his son. That disturbed me as well.

The Armageddon pictures got to me because I always pictured my dad (who never became a JW so was therefore automatically judged as unworthy of Jehovah's love) along with the people on my street in those pictures. I could not fatham it. I never wanted the "new system" to come.

Laurie

6

HELP WANTED, 33 CENTS PER HOUR. CAR NEEDED

by Outaservice in

jw
friends

several years back we had some special pioneers sent to our congregation where the need was great.. they had to make their 150 hours to receive their $50.00.

that figured out to 33 cents per hour.

of course they had to pay for the gas in their car, plus their own food if no one gave them any!.

toladest

I didn't know they got paid. I thought they had to do it all on their own. (not that $50.00 would get them far. Sheesh!) My mom moved to Tenessee, where the need was great,and regular pioneered with 5 kids and NO husband barely living on child support and she did not get help from the society.

23