Swan,
I would not stress over it too much. In time things will come to you naturally. You don't have to celebrate to be a good person and that is what is more important ! Each of us to be the best we can be towards others, the golden key I would say. I have been out of the society for a good while now and for 10 years I never put up a tree or decorated anything. It did not matter to me if I had some place to go or not, but I was happy with that.
Now this year it is different for me, I have a family and I feel like it's the right thing to do and not so much for myself but for my grandkids. It sure is a real warmth in your heart to see those kids faces light up on Christmas mourning. Even with all the crowds and the fighting in the shopping centers I think in the ends ? It all becomes worth it.
So I guess what I am saying is don't worry, BE HAPPY ! Merry Christmas